What is the difference between an Irishman and a plank of wood? Almost everything, including anatomy, chemical make up, mass etc

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A baby seal walks into a club...

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Why don't Polish women use vibrators? They are extremely conservative Catholics.

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Why did suzy drop her popsicle? She was trampled by a homosexual moose.

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What does a dog do in his spare time? Lick himself.

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Billy is walking down the street when he spots 1 armed johnny hanging in a tree.Billy proceeds to wave causing Johnny to wave with his 1 arm. Johnny falls out of the tree and dies

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Why do you believe in evolution? Because it increases the power of my pokemon.

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Hey you wanna hear a joke? Sure! Well first, do you want part of my sandwich? No thanks.........Are you going to tell your joke? Joke? Um sure. I didn't know I was telling one. Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have Alzheimer's. Would you like part of my sandwich?

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A man and a chicken walk into a bar... I forgot the rest of the joke .... YOUR MUMS A WHORE

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Why did the man buy a large butcher knife and a shot gun at 3am while his family was asleep at home? because he suffered from insomnia and figured running some errands would give him something to do. his wife had also been telling him that their current knife was getting old and rather dull and since one of his favorite hobbies was duck hunting he decided it wouldn't hurt to buy a new gun considering it was on sale for a reasonable price

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Why was the black man excited when he found a $20 bill on the ground? -Anyone would be excited

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Q: Why didnt the dinosaurs cross the road? A: Because theyre all dead.

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Fire extinguishers are sexy.

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I'll give you a nickel to lick my pickle, a dime to take your time and a quarter if I can f*ck you in the ass

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what do you call a black guy fixing your electricity an electrician

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What's worse than standing in line at Walmart? Being raped. What's worse than paying an outrageous amount for whatever it is you bought at Walmart? Being pregnant with a rape baby.

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Whats something really annoying? A guy who presses enter too much. hehe

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Why did Hitler kill six million Jews? Because one of them looked at him funny.

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Reed is poopin

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Wanna hear an oxymoron? Jews for Jesus.

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Oh no! I forgot the milk!

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Two muffins are in an oven. It was a really small batch.

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What is laying in the corner of the living room of an abandoned house and keeps getting smaller over the years? A decaying baby left there by a crack-head.

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what do you call someone who kills jews? a life saver

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops