I may be schizophrenic, but at least I have each other!

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Where is my tractor?

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Q: How do you fit 100 mexicans in a van? A: Its theoretically impossible.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a bagel.

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What do you call a tall midget? Well tall is a relative term so a midget may be considered tall compared to something or someone shorter. Say if a midget was compared to a baby he/she would be considered tall, considering the baby's small height. However midgets are looked at short by most people who are taller than them because of their physical problem that they can do nothing about.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's house? Yes, but he hasn't.

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I used to not like my beard, but then it grew on me.

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Ask me if i am a tree are you a tree? no

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why did the black child get sent to child services? because he has an abusive father and an alcoholic mother

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Man who wrote "The Hokey Pokey" died. Hard part was getting him into the coffin. They put his left leg in and then the trouble started..

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Why did the guy throw a clock out his window? Because he was mentally unstable and needs help.

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There are two gingerbread men in an oven and the one says " it's hot in here" the other says "holy crap it's a talking cookie!!!!!!!!"

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Doorbell salesman.

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What do you call an asian guy in a police uniform? A police officer.

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What is the difference between Michael Jackson and Neil Armstrong? Neil Armstrong was the first man to walk on the moon, and Michael Jackson molested boys.

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What's worse than ten babies nailed to one tree? One baby nailed to ten trees.

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Why did the little girl get a haircut? A; she has cancer.

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a car drives off a cliff whos driving? an asin woman!

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what do you call a little girl next to a mexican? a rape victim.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There was a wild dog on the other side, so he crossed the road to avoid potential danger.

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How do you determine the population of mexico? Send out a census every 4 years.

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How heavy duty are your nachos? No, because babies simply cannot swallow blenders.

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What does Ke$ha feel like when getting up in the morning? Shit because she has a nasty hangover.

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A man walks into a bar. Q: What's the apple doing on your head? A: Peach? It's not pear. It's banana.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops