so i walk into a bar the bartender says what do you want i say a beer please he then goes one dear coming up soi thought tomy self should i tell him what i really said so i let him get the dear but for some reason he came out with tears i asked whats a matter he said you let me go to kill a dear

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Who can you NOT apply the term "Gentle Giant" to? Dwarfs.

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Why aren't there alligators in a bookstore? Because alligators would pose a danger to customers.

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A white man and a black man were walking down the street. The black borrowed the white man's phone to make a quick call when an incoming call came in. The black man, while trying to hand the phone back, says, "Here, it's your Dad." The white man replies, "No, that's my phone." Amazed at how uneducated the black man was.

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the guy on tv right now isnt funny. i blame canada

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Your mom is so fat, you might be dyslexic

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Why did bob die Cause he got hit by a mailbox

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she was born with the disorders of being blind and deaf. For any human, having blindness and deafness makes driving a near impossible task.

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Why was the first name of the boy 'Price'? His parents were Hamsters.

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What's purple and eats rocks? Scientists are still looking into this question.

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what do babies and prostitutes have in common they will both cry if you hit them with a brick

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What did Jeff say to the guy who stole his car? Can I have my car back.

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What is so sad about 5 black people going over a cliff in a Cadaliac? That was my Cadaliac

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knock knock 'who's there?' 'just open the door'

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Oh my God, my friend just got hit by a truck. Lets go get ice cream

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A) Knock Knock. B) Who's There? A) Me. B) Oh, well I'm in the shower, just give me five minutes. A) OK, I'll wait in the kitchen, is it cool if I heat up a hot pocket? B) Yeah sure, just not the pepperoni one, I only have one left and I was saving it for lunch. A) Alright.

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What do airplanes and grapes have in common? They both have wings, except a grape doesn't.

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What did a cat said to another cat? Nothing because cata dont talk.

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Whats worse than a flat tire? penile fracture

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? Well, if the socket were 20 feet in the air, it might take 4 blondes with really good balance. Then again, it might not matter how many blondes there are due to transportation issues. (What if there are no replacement light bulbs in the house, and the nearest store was 10 miles away? It would be ridiculous to expect someone to walk twenty miles to replace a light bulb) In conclusion, I would say that the number of blondes it takes to screw in a light bulb is dependent on the individual situation at hand.

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What do you call a fat ethiopian. Impossible

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why would you thank the KKK because they killed the president

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What would Michael Jackson do if he saw a naked child alone in an alleyway? It is unknown, as he cannot be asked about this hypothetical scenario due to his passing in 2009.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? "Poker Face"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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