A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says .... Hey, you shouldn't be in here; you're a big and powerful animal and any sudden movement could be dangerous for anyone around you. You have sharp hooves and we don't carry anything ergonomically designed for you to actually drink out of ... so, it's probably best that you just go ahead and get out of here. The irishman at the bar says to the bartender: Why are you talking to a horse as if it can understand you? They do not understand the spoken word and do not have the vocal chords to reply.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Bird jokes are not funny! Crow up!

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Whats Mary short for? Shes got no legs

thumb_up thumb_down +5

As if it helps your self esteem: Nothing yet, Be the first to comment.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A Kid goes to Band Camp and comes back distinctly better at the Trumpet.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the chicken cross the road? There was a large dog on its side of the road attempting to harass it.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did Sara fall off the swing? Because she got shot in the heart with a bolt action sniper rifle and died.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Dude? What. Dude? What! Wheres my car?

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Two rabbis standing at the buffet cart. The first exclaims "Oy vey, those pork chops look good!". The second shrugs, turns to his friend and remarks, "So do your wife's norks".

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A baby seal walks into a club...

thumb_up thumb_down +3

why did the monkey fall out the tree? he lost his grip

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Yo mama so fat!... we are very concerned for her health.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q: Why did the plane crash into a mountain? A: The pilot was a tomato.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How do you prevent aids? Nail an orphan to your genitals before sex.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

why didn't little johnny show up to school on friday? little johnny died two months ago from cancer. he hasn't been to school in a year.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Knock knock Who's there? Gung chee Gung chee who? That's my full name.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the chicken cross the road? It had the utmost desire to.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

alston wang

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Are you sure Jewsus was not a Jew?

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A man and a chicken walk into a bar... I forgot the rest of the joke .... YOUR MUMS A WHORE

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Hey you wanna hear a joke? Sure! Well first, do you want part of my sandwich? No thanks.........Are you going to tell your joke? Joke? Um sure. I didn't know I was telling one. Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have Alzheimer's. Would you like part of my sandwich?

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why do you believe in evolution? Because it increases the power of my pokemon.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How do you find the richest person in Mexico? Google it!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a gun, Get in the car.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops