A guy walks in to a bar and says "ow"

Why was Jimmy upset? Someone kept pouring liquid nitrogen on him.

Women Voting

Knock knock! Who's there? Elton. Elton who? Elton John

What job function does a blonde have in an M&M factory? Quality control or some other function.

why?

What do you call it when Chuck Norris gambles? Chuck Norris does not gamble. That would imply the chance of losing.

What do you call poop in a black man's toilet? Poop.

(Two person joke for an audience Joke Teller. "What's the difference between a rabbit and a cowsay?" Accomplice "a what?" Joke Teller. "a cowsay?" Accomplice "what's a cowsay?" Joke Teller. "Mooooooo"

Q-How do you kill an elephant? A- An elephant gun Q- How do you kill a blue elephant? A- A blue elephant gun Q- How do you kill a red elephant? A- Strangle it until it turns blue then use a blue elephant gune Q- How do you kill a purple elephant?

Two rabbits are being chased by dogs and hide in a log in the forest. The male pushes the female to the dogs which are at both sides of the log and gets off Scott free.

What do you call a man with no legs and arms hanging on your wall? Art

Two black guys jump off a cliff, who wins? The black guy.

A black man walks out of a store with a receipt.

What's worse than finding twelve dead babies nailed to a tree? One living baby nailed to twelve trees.

What's worse than a truckload of dead babies? Wait a week.

Knock knock. Who's there? It's the police. Your father's been taken to county jail for his third DUI.

Why did Mary fall of the tire swing? Because she's a dumbass

What did the deaf, dumb, blind, and mute child get for his birthday? Nothing, his parents hate him.

Knock Knock? Who's there? Look in the peephole

what do men with small penises use as condoms? appropriately sized condoms.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

What time is it when grandpa sits ontop of a telephone pole and throws pineapples at people? Time to go to a nursing home

Roses are red, Violets are blue, get in my bed so i can fu** you!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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