what did the 3 hispanic men say to the fat guy? you're in our seats

Q: What came first, the chicken or the egg? A: The egg, dinosaurs reproduced long before chickens existed.

Knock knock Who's there? Sergeant Sergeant who? Sergeant John Clancy. I regret to inform you that Billy your son has just unfortunately been killed in the electronic fan factory in which he works.

Kumquats, daffodils, and potato salad.

What does an Asian man, Black man, & a Hick all have in common with automatic weapons? The Asian is Vietnamese and fought in the Nam, The Black guy lives in the ghetto and was shot in a drive by, and the hick and his best friend got drunk and shot each other in the foot.

Why did Mary fail to consume her breakfatst? Because Suzy has a history of bi-polar disorder as well as anorexia.

A Jew sits down next to a muslim at the bar. They great and discuss their day's events, they both order beers. Then they go home.

What's the best thing about having sex with twenty one year olds? The orgasm.

What's funnier than poop? More poop

Want to hear a tough toung twister? spoons

You want to hear a joke? Adobe Flash Player.

: Did you hear about the Polish Helicopter crash? The pilot and three passengers died.

why did Suzie fall off the swing? she had no arms. knock knock? whos there not Suzie

What did the person say to the person about to run into the tree? Watch out for that tree!

guy 1: hey, i got a new dog. isn't he cute? guy 2: i just lit him on fire

what did the cheese say to the wall? nothing cheese can't talk.

Question: How many rocks does it take to make a pancake? Answer: Tree.

A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

Why was the black man escorted out of the bar? Civil rights is still a real issue in this country and must be solved.

Facebook...

What did the skeleton say to the man? Nothing.

What happens when a man and a woman really love each other?... - They'll most likely go on a date and enjoy themselves.

Congratulations, sir. The judge has determined that the charges of traffic violation against you were indeed incorrect, and you will be given a large sum of cash for your wasted time.

A Black man and an Asian man are at a bar. They have a few drinks and then leave.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...