A man is on his way home from a business trip and walks into his house. He is quite as to not wake up his wife or kids. He gets to the bedroom to find his wife in bed with the neighbor. He is shocked at what he came home to and decides to file for divorce. She was a stay at home mom and loses everything because of the divorce. The man woke up from his horrible nightmare and kissed his wife on the cheek. She has always been faithful. He decides to tell her about the dream and, for insurance, emphasizes the part where she loses everything in the divorce. They happily live out the rest of their lives together.

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Why did the little kid use pillows at night? Because he was constipated.

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Why was the man so unhappy. he died

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Why did the little girl fall off of the swing? She didn't have any arms.

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How do you kill one Jew. A gun. How do you kill a thousand Jews. With a millon angery germans.

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how do make a condom fly around the room? Piss it off!

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Where does Frosty the Snowman keep his money? He doesn't keep it. His lifespan is too short to make significant compound intrest.

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What's the difference between a duck and a goose? They are obviously different species but they both have wings and are birds and are actually pretty similar. Geese are usually bigger though I guess.

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Whats big red and eats rocks? A big red rock eater

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What's grey and looks good on policemen? your mom.

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Whats worse than a bunch of teen-agers throwing kitrens at my house I didn't save them because I thought they were jehovahs witness's

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How do you make a blonde scream? Set her on fire.

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why wouldn't the boy shake his teachers hand? his abusive father cut it off with an axe when he was a child

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Knock Knock Who's there? re-posession officers

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what do you get if you cross a cat with a cat? kittens.

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What is striped black and white? A prisoner in jail arrested for the murder of a 7 year old child.

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Q:What did the hillbilly say when he lost his tractor? A: Where is my tractor

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a dragon walks into a bar. the bartender says "stop it". the dragon eats the bartender.

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Why was Lucile crying? Because she was sad.

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Why did the cow die? Because we need meat

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What is the difference between a hore and a wife? The hore serves you...

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Why did the plane crash? Cause the pilot was a loaf of bread

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because SEVEN-FIVE!!!

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What did the Catholic Priest do to the 9-year-old boy? He ate him. The priest was actually Jeffery Dahmer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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