What do you call a guy so fat that he can't fit in a bath tub? A guy so fat that he can't fit in a bath tub.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the woman cry? She was sodomized by wild animals

thumb_up thumb_down -9

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? 452

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do you call a fish with no "eyes" Dead

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why was the chimp late for his flight? Because chimps arent allowed through airport security.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A man walks into a bar and sees a jar filled with money. He asks the bartender, "What`s all this money for?" The bartender replies, "It`s Breast Cancer Awareness month and we are collecting donations." The man puts in $5, and continues on with his night.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do we want? Chips!! When do we want them? Chips

thumb_up thumb_down -11

An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What was the beauty pageant contestant with a bladder control problem told by the judges? You’re an 8.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

what is pink stinky? your butthole lol

thumb_up thumb_down -13

NASCAR

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Un petit gars se plante en vélo et il se met à pleurer.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What is black, white, and red all over? A domino dipped in kitten blood.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What do you call a strait man that is also gay? Bisexual.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What did the little boy do when he dropped his ice cream? Acted very mature and requested another one from his mother

thumb_up thumb_down -17

where do cows go on dates? the slaughter house

thumb_up thumb_down -17

-What's the difference between 100 dead babies and a Ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage. _________________________________________________________________ -What's the difference between 1,000 dead babies and a Lamborghini? I don't use a pitch fork to move my Lamborghini.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

WILSON!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Wanted: A tall, well built woman with good reputation, who can cook Frog's legs, who appreciates a good Fuc- shia garden, classical music and tal- king with out getting too serious. Now read only lines 1,3, and 5

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did Little Billy fall off the swing? He got hit by a washing machine.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Roses are red violets are blue you're the middle child no one cares about you

thumb_up thumb_down -19

what is worse the Holocaust or slavery? patantan!

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What do you tell someone who says they are contemplating suicide, Get over it

thumb_up thumb_down -23

A black man, a white man, and a Mexican walk into a bar. The bartender kicks them out because he doesn't have time for another crappy joke; as the bar is very crowded that night.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops