Where did Ellen go after the explosion? Everywhere

How do you torture Helen Keller? Give her a cheese-grater and tell her it's a book.

Why are we on a roof? Becuse some idiot gave us all roofies.

I'm so hungry I feel I would be able to ingest large quantities of food.

What do you call a kid with a peg leg and an eye patch? Names

Why did the girl ask her brother for aids? Because her room was a mess

Whats worse than a paper cut? AIDS.

What is the best time to go to the dentist? During office hours 2 or 3 times a year to ensure optimal dental health and hygiene .

Roses are black. Violets are grey. I'm a dog...

Your mom is SO ugly, I entered her in an ugly contest, and she came in fourth place!

Knock Knock Come in

What's worse than having a bad hair day? Vietnam.

Why cant little billy jump? He was aborted.

Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No? Neither have they.

Is this the Krusty Krab? No, the Krusty Krab is a fictional place, and therefore does not exist.

Whats big red and eats rocks? A big red rock eater

Call or text this number and say whatever 863-670-1547 or you can mail things to his house 252 village crest court lakeland florida 33809

How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb? None. Mice don't have the strength required to do that.

Knock Knock Who's there? Gestapo.

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because it is very unsafe for blind individuals to operate motor vehicles.

why did i fall? i got pushed!

a rabbi,a priest and minister didn't walk into a bar. Bars are for fun and fun is for not completely insane brainwashed people.

A black man walks out of a store with a receipt.

A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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