What did the dead baby say to his mother? Nothing. He's dead.

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Q: Whats worse than having a dead car battery? A: Going to prison and getting raped by a black guy

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What is red and invisible? No tomatoes.

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whats worss than getting a papercut gohnnarea

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Tennesse

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I'm Jewish

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a priest a rabbi and a minister all walk into a bar and the bartender says "is this a joke?"

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What did the man say when he dropped an apple on his foot? That might have caused some minor discomfort had I not been wearing shoes.

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A small child and a pedophile are walking hand-in-hand through the dark, creaky woods. "Mister," says the small child, " I'm scared." "YOU'RE scared?" says the pedophile. "I'M the one who's gonna have to walk back alone!"

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roses are red, violets are blue, hey reed and steven, we should hang out

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Why did the monkey scream? He was hungry

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Why did the man have a bad day? Well first of all, his wife left him, then his two kids both committed suicide, then a large falcon pecked at him genital area. After that he proceeded to be hit by a car, and soon after he was hit by a bus. Following this, his corpse was raped by a transvestite pig, and then finally his spirit got hit by a plane on its way up to heaven, knocking it to Hell.

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Someone else's cheese.

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What do you call someone who states the obvious? Someone who states the obvious.

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a blond goes into a taxi, the driver asks where to my friend , the blond says her desired location, gets droped off and trips, falls on her head, suffers major injuries, dies,weeks later the taxi driver drove the family to the funeral, they walk out and one of of them trips and gets back up...

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Two gay men in a hottub. They relaxed for about half an hour before getting out and going to the bed, where they fell asleep.

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A man walks into a car dealership. The salesman was nice and he bought a Mercedes.

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Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll probably just land back on earth.

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robin, get in the car.

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Why did the man drop his glasses? His hand was sweaty.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "what'll it be?" The horse, unable to understand human language. Takes a shit and walks out.

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Why did the man pee his pants? Because he was paralyzed from the waste down and had no way of feeling

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she didn't have woman's rights Knock knock Who's there? NOT Sally, she's in the kitchen

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what does a nazi and the witch from hansel and gretal have in common, they both put people in ovens.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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