- Anti Joke

What's faster than a Mexican running away with your T.V.? An Airplane

What do you call a black guy flying an airplane? A pilot.

Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house. No. Neither has he

Why did the chandelier fall on the little boy? Hell if I know, the only person who saw it got hit by a chandelier and died.

What do you call a Mexican and a Black man on the moon? Astronauts.

What is a ghost's favorite dessert? Nothing. Ghosts do not exist, thus they cannot eat dessert.

Why was the boy upset? Because he has a frog stapled to his face.

how do u get a nun off the bottom of a cruise ship you untie her

What did the white man hand to the mexican? His college degree because the mexican had completed all four years of college with a 4.0 GPA.

What do you call someone who is blind and deaf? Dumb.

Why was the asian guy's eyes slanted? Your question is a very valid one that most people often wonder, but never really ask. It's called an epicanthal fold...please, NOT "slanted eyes". Many people consider this to be a derogatory description of the descendents or those of Eastern Asia (as do I, being half Korean), but most people are unaware of this and say it anyway. I'll assume you didn't know this. :) The epicanthal fold (what we have) is something that all babies are born with, but those who may not be of Eastern Asian origin will eventually lose. The purpose of this "fold" is to protect the eyes from extreme sunlight and cold weather. Most people of the this part of Asia originated in Mongolia where the weather conditions were very cold and harsh. Also, with most of this population, you'll notice that there exists some extra padding below the eyes as well. With all that white snow and the sunlight reflecting off of it, don't you think with time our bodies would develop some sort of defense for one of our most valued senses--our sight? It makes sense, doesn't it? Also, notice, that the farther south you travel in Eastern Asia the "rounder" the eye gets (their is less evidence of the epicanthal fold), since the climate gets warmer the farther south you go. Evolution, baby. So, Eastern Asian eyes are NOT really slanted. They just appear to be. Instead they just have that extra fold above the eyes that make them appear "thinner", if you will. If you want to sound halfway intelligent, please don't use the description "slanted eyes" anymore, since this will only make you seem like somewhat of a bigot (racist). (You might say it around the wrong person one day.) Sorry, but I'm just trying to give you some good advice. I hope I helped.

A: Ask me if im a fire hydrant. B: Are you a fire hydrant? A: No...

Roses are red violets are blue this poem make no sense microwave.

Why did the chicken attempt to cross the road? To retrieve his dead relatives in the middle of the street.

Why did the airplane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

A Priest, a Rabbi, and an Orca Whale walk into a local eatery to discuss what is on their mind. The Priest says he is proud that even though their community is comprised of people residing in many different religions, they still work together to strive for a better tomorrow. The Rabbi nods his head in agreement,he states that he is proud of all the hard working men in their community that are willing to make sacrifices for the needy. The Orca Whale also nods in agreement and pauses for a moment to think while he insight-fully gleams at his two other friends. The Mighty Orca Whale then contributes to the conversation by saying eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrr!

A man went to the doctor and told him he was having the strangest dream. "First I was a tee pee Then I was a wigwam A tee pee, a wigwam. Do you have any idea what could be wrong?" The doctor looked at the man and said "You have aids."

A man claims to own a talking dog. A skeptic approaches the man and his dog and asks for a demonstration. The man asks his dog, "How does sandpaper feel?" The dog says, "Ruff!" The skeptic is not convinced. The man then asks his dog, "Who is the greatest baseball player of all time?" The dog, who like all dogs cannot fully comprehend human speech, proceeds to lick his balls.

why did the rooster cross the road? because it was stapled to the chicken

What did the dead baby say to his mother? Nothing. He's dead.

How did the happy clown die? Testicular Cancer.

There are stars in the sky when it's dark. You may have noticed I used a contraction in the previous sentence.

How do you confuse a blonde? You tell em a AntiJoke!

What would you do if you're eyes just suddently exploded? You would never see again.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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