Where did Sally go after the explosion? Everywhere.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Whats green and fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree you'll die? A pool table.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

I'm so hungry, I could eat an adequately sized meal

thumb_up thumb_down +32

why did the baby cross the road? i stapled his head to a chicken!

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Rebbeca black walked into a bar on Saturday

thumb_up thumb_down +32

World Peace

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Do you know that car over there? No.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

how do u get a nun off the bottom of a cruise ship you untie her

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Your life That's the joke

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What do you call a black pilot? Whatever his name is, you racist.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What did the pig say to the banana? Oink.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Romney 2012

thumb_up thumb_down +28

why did Louisa go black and never go back? She got hit by a truck

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What did the mute say to the deaf man? Nothing. He's a mute.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What do you call a tree with all of it's branches down? A tree with all of it's branches down.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Whats the difference between peanut butter and jam? I can't peanut butter my dick into someones ass

thumb_up thumb_down +28

A man had a terminal illness. He died a few months after he was diagnosed.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

minced oaths

thumb_up thumb_down +28

whats worse than a worm in a rotten apple? 2 worms in a rotten apple. whats worse than 2 worms in a rotten apple? 3 worms in a rotten apple. whats worse than 3 worms in a rotten apple? the haulocaust. whats worse than the haulocaust? 4 worms in a rotten apple. wait wait...that was rascist,nevermind this joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why was the asian guy's eyes slanted? Your question is a very valid one that most people often wonder, but never really ask. It's called an epicanthal fold...please, NOT "slanted eyes". Many people consider this to be a derogatory description of the descendents or those of Eastern Asia (as do I, being half Korean), but most people are unaware of this and say it anyway. I'll assume you didn't know this. :) The epicanthal fold (what we have) is something that all babies are born with, but those who may not be of Eastern Asian origin will eventually lose. The purpose of this "fold" is to protect the eyes from extreme sunlight and cold weather. Most people of the this part of Asia originated in Mongolia where the weather conditions were very cold and harsh. Also, with most of this population, you'll notice that there exists some extra padding below the eyes as well. With all that white snow and the sunlight reflecting off of it, don't you think with time our bodies would develop some sort of defense for one of our most valued senses--our sight? It makes sense, doesn't it? Also, notice, that the farther south you travel in Eastern Asia the "rounder" the eye gets (their is less evidence of the epicanthal fold), since the climate gets warmer the farther south you go. Evolution, baby. So, Eastern Asian eyes are NOT really slanted. They just appear to be. Instead they just have that extra fold above the eyes that make them appear "thinner", if you will. If you want to sound halfway intelligent, please don't use the description "slanted eyes" anymore, since this will only make you seem like somewhat of a bigot (racist). (You might say it around the wrong person one day.) Sorry, but I'm just trying to give you some good advice. I hope I helped.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What did the mute guy say to the deaf guy? *awkward silence* What did the deaf guy say to the mute guy? *Awkward silence....huh?*

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What is 18 inches long and makes a woman scream all night? Crib death.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops