Get in the van

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How do you know when someone tells a bad joke? You don't find it humorous.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, Others dont

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An Arab walks into a bar. He then blows up the bar.

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Whats worse that biting into an apple with a worm in it? The Holocaust.

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clown penis dot fart? dangle pussy

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What did the old man say? Nothing he was so old he died.

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Knock Knock. Who the hells there? Nevermind.

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Gracias por depositar mi dinero, y tener un buen día, adios.

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Did you see that van with the word "Free Candy" painted on it? I'm also glad to see a successful entrepreneur capable of advertising free wares as an incentive to attract customers in such a recession. It's a great deal for both parties.

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What do you call Justin Bieber having sex with a women? Sex.

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I used to think I was indecisive, but now I am not so sure.

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Why was the baseball player arrested after stealing a base? Because he pulled out a knife and stabbed the shortstop in the chest.

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What's sad about 3 Black Guys in a Camero? It was my car...

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How do you check that you are not dreaming, but in actual fact, you are wide awake? Try to bite off our finger (this is actually possible, but the brain does not allow you to do it).

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Go figure, you seemed pretty fucking scared of me back then. "autocast" hypnotic priming, anchors, you know what that is right? You for (as an example) clap your hands whenever you succeed at hypnotizing yourself while staying awake in a lucid state, then you repeat it until you one day just clap, your body remembers the whole sequence and boom it works right away. You did not think that PaulMcKenna could just touch people and have them do what he wants without even telling them what to do right? Especially not McKenna, I learned a lot from Richard Bandler, absolutely nothing from Anthony Robbins, everything I could ever want from Igor Ledochowsky, and absolutely nothing from PaulMcKenna, I went to him last, I should have skipped Both Robbins and Kenna, they use NLP and... Basically call it hypnosis.

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Women

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How do you start a Mexican parade? Close off the streets you plan to have the parade on, and be sure to have a decent amount of floats and marching bands.

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A mute says to a paraplegic: You can talk the talk - but can you walk the walk?

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how many fish does it take to turn on a lightbulb None, lightbulbs dont work in the ocean

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- Knock Knock. - Who's there? - You're coming with me.

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hi

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What did the mouse say to the elephant? Squeak.

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Saddam Hussein is the father of the mothers of all cultchies.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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