Why does this dog have herpes? Global Warming.

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Please don't rape me.

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What did Helen Keller say to the priest? Nothing, she didn't know he was there.

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Q: Why did Hellen Keller's dog run away? A: The backyard gate was left open

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An Arian man walks into a German-owned bar and asks to use the restroom. The bartender sees this acceptable and allows it. Soon after, a Jewish man asks the same question, but this time the bartender said no. The Jewish man thought it was an outrage and demanded why, so the bartender calmly explained to him that the Arian man was still using the restroom and that when he was finished the Jewish man was free to poo as he pleased.

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Two muffins are in the oven, one looks at the other and says, "it sure is hot in here." The other responds, "AAhHH a TALKING MUFFIN."

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Knock knock! Who's there? Boo. Oh hey man, you got the meth?

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Two chemists walk into a bar. The first says, "I'd like some H2O" The second says "I'd like some H2O as well." Nobody dies.

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What are the things that define you? The things that define you.

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What is fat and ugly? Your American MUM!

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Your Momma is so ugly, she got plastic surgery.

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Why did the lady drop her shopping Because she ran into coles

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roses are red, violets are blue, I have schizophrenia, which is a serious mental disorder in which I have difficulty properly experiencing reality. It should not be confused with multiple personality disorder, which is a completely different disease with different symptoms.

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NEVER

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what do you get when you cross do you get when you cross a banana and a monkey? one happy monkey

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What looks like a 50p and has a narrow back?

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What do you put on top of salad? Salad Dressing.

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Come in

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What did the apple say to the orange? Nothing. Fruits can't talk.

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My Girlfriend

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I walked in on my daughter masturbating. The whole ordeal was very uncomfortable, but I sat her down at the dining table to discreetly explain the necessity of locking doors.

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why did the football coach go to the bank? to make a deposit into his account

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That's a lie, buffaloes are extinct now

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Person 1: It's your birthday? Person 2: Yeah! Person 1: Oh.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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