i have 2 penises

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Knock Knock Who's there? I'm deaf. I'm deaf who? What?

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the iPod hand is such a great deal It's only seven ninety-nine..........................................ninety nine for one hundredth of a dinosaur wait a minute...

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how do you reunite the beatles 2 bullets

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Why did Suzy fall of the swing? -she had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? Not Suzy

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Roses are black Violets are black Everything is black Because I'm blind

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Knock knock Who's there? What.

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A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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Sea World Japan.

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A tree walks into a bar. But it is a dead tree so it actually didn't

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Haiku's Are Easy. But Don't Always Make Much Sense. Refrigerator.

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Knock Knock. Shut up.

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How did Hellen Keller's parents torture her? They made her go to bed when she wasn't very sleepy

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Yo momma's so short, it's probably because she's in a wheelchair.

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What's the difference between Jews and boy scouts? Boy scouts come back from camp.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He farted

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a fat man eats porkchops all day ling shit a just craped my pants

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25

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Why did the bride get a refrigerator for her wedding? Because it is a very nice present

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One day, Little Timmy asked his mother this question, "Mommy, why are boys and girls different?" She responded, "You're adopted and Santa Claus is dead."

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Ask me if I'm in a tree? No.

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What's the difference between a white person and a chair? -The chair isn't a complete douche.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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