Why was the monkey sad? Because somebody stole his banana. Why was the monkey happy? Because your parents are dead.

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Steering Wheel Face.

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A Horse walks into a bar. Bartender:why the long face? Horse:I have terminal cancer.

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There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

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whats the best way to burn calories? Set a fat kid on fire.

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minorities

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What do you call a Colombian who sells drugs? A pharmacist.

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Why was the little boy sad? Because he had a fox stapled to his face.

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A man walks into a bar. End of story.

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i want to eat a horse out jaffa cake

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Why would anyone try to run from a fight if:Its not the size of the dog in the fight, its the size of the fight in the dog? I wasn't even talking about dogs and fight isn't something in you! Next time, don't listen to your football coach.

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What do you get when you cross a grizzly bear and a dolphin? Well, the odds of these two animals mating are slim to none. Due to the undeniable fact that dolphins live in the ocean primarily in the warmer tropical waters and grizzly bears live on land in the pacific northwest where the water would be too cold for the dolphin anyway. The dolphin would be swimming around avoiding sharks and the bear would probably be eating a salmon. But if they did breed you would get a dolphinbear. Although a dolphinbear would have a very low chance of survival given it's part dolphin. Dolphins are pussies.

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Why did a monkey fall out of a tree? He was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of a tree? Gravity. Why did the third monkey fall out of a tree? He was stapled to the second monkey.

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Why do Jewish people where hats in church? They feel there head will often get cold

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What would you do if you're eyes just suddently exploded? You would never see again.

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What's red and smells like cherries? Cherries

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I walked down the street. I picked up a quarter. It was shiny. Then I walked to school. I finished school, so I walked home, did my homework, and went to bed. Lesson learned: quadratic formula

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What do you call an insect that has 8 legs? A spider.

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Someone once told me a joke. It was funny.

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Knock Knock Who's There? ... knock a door run

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Two black guys are in an elevator, one guy gets off at the sixth floor, and the other on the eighth. And thats it.

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The pennis has a tuff life, his best friend is a pussy, his neighbors is an A hole, his family is nuts, and his master beats him.

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What is red and invisible? No tomatoes.

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What do you call a dead blonde in a closet? A rape victim.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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