What's worse than the titanic sinking 9-11

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If youve ever seen the wizard of oz movie and family guy, then u get what i mean. Hes a PHONY! a BIG FAT PHONY!

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The President, the Pope, and a small child are in a plane when the pilot announces that they are about to crash. The plane hits the ocean. They quickly remember that there is a life jacket under their seats and they promptly put it on, but wait to inflate it (by pulling down on one or both of the red tabs) it until after exiting the cabin.

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3 men- Greg-Allen-And James were on their way back from the bar. When the driver, Greg spun out of control. All of them died Instantly. Once they got to heaven, Jesus told them. " The better you were with Relationships, And loving just one person. The better Transportation you got." He bagan handing things out. " Well, Greg. Looks like you cheated on your most recent Girlfriend... Twice. You get a Bike." Next was Allen " Allen! Shame on you! You have dated 4 women at once! You get a Scooter!" And last was James. " James! You have stayed true to your wife! And all of your other ex- girlfriends. You get a Mustang!" Allen and Greg seen james, Sitting on his car, Upset. "Man! Whats wrong? You have the best thing you could get! I'd be happy!" James looks up and says " Thanks guys, But I just seen my Wife on A skateboard.."

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What's the difference between an alcoholic and a drug dealer? An alcoholic is an extremely corrupted, and unhealthy living person. Though so is a drug dealer... They are both very harmful situations in many ways.

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What did little Robbie get for Christmas? AIDS

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How do you make a blond cry? Rape her

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How did the people get into the pyramid?? They didn't

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Knock Knock Who is there? You have no Dick

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how do you make coffee you put it in a mug

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Damn kids and their evasive tactics.

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Has anyone told you, you look fat today?" "Because you don't.

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How did the lifegaurd break his leg? He was hit by a submarine!

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9/11/01 walks into a bar

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Why don't women need watches? Because they have clocks on their cell phones because they have jobs outside of the house and are INDEPENDENT WOMEN! MEN DO NOT DEFINE THEM!

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Nickelback.

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Women's rights.

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A man claims to own a talking dog. A skeptic approaches the man and his dog and asks for a demonstration. The man asks his dog, "How does sandpaper feel?" The dog says, "Ruff!" The skeptic is not convinced. The man then asks his dog, "Who is the greatest baseball player of all time?" The dog, who like all dogs cannot fully comprehend human speech, proceeds to lick his balls.

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What did the clown say when his car broke down? Sh*t!

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What's brown, dusty, and full of male? My asshole.

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Brittney Spears

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A rebellious teenage boy throws a dozen eggs on the street, now he has no eggs.

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How do you make a napkin dance? You can't. Stop having such unrealistic aspirations.

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Q: Why is winter the best season? A: It eliminates the homeless.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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