Who is Red and White and comes on Christmas? A Russian Candy Cane

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I have the heart of a child... in a jar on my desk.

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How did the fat man die? Clogged arteries leading to a heart attack.

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My wife and I have been married for ten years. She is a great care-taker and I couldn't be more happy. Then she asked me to make her a sandwich, I went to the kitchen and into the knife drawer...well I think you can guess what happened after that. I cut the meats, and I made her a sandwich.

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lol

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A guy walks into a bar and asks a nice looking girl if he can buy her a drink. She promptly rejects the offer.

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You know what's worse than finding a worm inside an apple? finding crack, too late to spit it out.

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What's more boring than watch grass grow? Watching grass not grow.

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How can you tell if a woman is dead? She has no pulse.

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A horse walks into a bar...n

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I said I read te terms of service. I didnt

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What did the human say to the human? You are a human.

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Did you hear about the black guy who went to college? Neither have i

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What did Helen Keller's parents do to punish her? They gave her a stern talking to and then grounded her for a couple days.

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A guy walks into the bathroom, sits down and poops.

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What did the cat say to the chicken? Nothing. Animals are not capable of speaking.

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-Knock Knock -Whos there? -The police -OH SHIT

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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Whats big, tall and fat? Most of America.

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Roses are burning, Violets are burning, my house is on fire

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How many dislikes can this get?

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Disc . Disc Who. Disconnected.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A Kinect

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Q:why are lamas cool? A:because m&m's are poisoned with deadly dosages of viagra.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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