I came.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q: What is long and hard? A: The gun used to kill my parents.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q: I am an over-protective father looking for my son who was kidnapped and am suddenly traveling with a mentally retarded woman who cant remember her name. By the way my wife was murdered and my son has physical disorder. Then, im hooked up with a hippy who doesnt care about anything. Who am I? A: Marlin the clownfish (from Finding Nemo).

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the rhino cross the rode? Because it was the chickens day off.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Will gropes Ebola victims

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Knock, knock. Who's there? It's Bob. Oh hi, Bob, come on in.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why are white people typically not as good at basketball as black people? They don't have the hard work and dedication as those who are better.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

My friend said that onions are the only food that could make you cry. That was before I hit him with a watermelon.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

21

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was suicidal.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Women's Rights

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the boy bump into a pole. He was sleep-walking with his eyes closed.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Scenario: 2 guys with big feet and a camels Anus are hiking on Mount Everest with a set of elephants dildos Man 1: what's the difference between a Volkswagen and a clock? Man 2: what? Man 1: you can't toboggan of a green house roof with a tub of Vaseline and a ostrich party on lady gaga's Anus

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Knock knock! Who's there? It's me, Allison. Oh, come in!

thumb_up thumb_down +9

a carrot walks into a bar, carrots cant walk for they do not have legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why does Magic Johnson always use extra large condoms? Because he's got a giant dick and HIV.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's worse than a dead baby? A dead puppy.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

why can't Helen Keller drive? because she's a women

thumb_up thumb_down +7

why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A man waltzes into a bar, waving a carrot in the air. With an arrogant air of self-importance he flops onto a highchair at the bar. Looka here, looka here, he says to the bartender, waiving the carrot at the man. Will you buy me drinks all night, if I can make this carrot... Never mind, and please leave my bar, the bartender says, pulling out a carrot from under the counter. I've got one myself.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

WNBA

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why don't women wear watches?...Because the economy is at an all-time low and it would be reasonable to presume that a person couldn't afford an item like this, thus, trying to budget in a watch that could cost anywhere from 50-100$ would be a risky financial move depending on their yearly salary.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How come Jimmy didn't take his math test? Dead babies can't take math tests!

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Roses are red, Violets are blue, WTF is this, i gotta take a piss.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops