A blonde walks into a store and asks for the microwave behind the counter. The man behind the register promptly hands her the microwave and charges her $435 for it, which is utterly ridiculous.

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Why couldn't the woman go grocery shopping? She was paralyzed from the neck down.

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A man witnessed a car crash. He was traumatized

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What is black, white, and red all over? Obviusly a sunburned panguin.

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A Jew picked up a penny. He thought his beard matched the guy on the coin.

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Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Because her inability to see or hear makes her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

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what do you call the one eyed man in the land of the blind? You call him an outcast

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What did the bartender say to the midget as he entered the bar? Nothing besides attempting to serve him in the same manner as any other reveller whilst attempting to disguise his sense of pity for the midget's debilitating and somewhat stigmatised condition.

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Why did man push another man off of a building? Because he is a homocidal maniac and should be in federal prison

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What do you call burt and ernie if they were black?? A couple of n*ggers

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What do you call a cool pig? SPIDER-PIG!!!

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Why did the monkey sit on the toilet? To have a bowelmovement

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Roses are red, Violets are PURPLE.

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roses are black violets are gray im color blind

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead! Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? I stapled it to the first monkey!

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Your momma's so fat, that if the word for fat was "plachow" I'd say "yeah your momma, she's a little bit plachow."

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why is the room so dark? because the light is not on.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Shes dead.

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roses are red, violets are blue, I suck at rimes, refridgerator.

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What did the boy with no legs and no arms get for Christmas? Cancer.

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What is the difference between a bench and a black man? It is socially acceptable to sit on a bench to eat your lunch. If you did so to a black man you would probably be arrested.

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What did Gene give Carla for Christmas? AIDS

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why did Louisa go black and never go back? She got hit by a truck

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What's green, fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree and lands on you, you'd die? A pool table.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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