What do you call an elderly women who after the death of her late husband had many enconters witb men? A whore.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

DONALD TRUMP DIES

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A black man walks into a bar. the bartender ask what he wants to drink. the black man responds , "i will have one beer please". so the bartender gives it to him and says have a nice day.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What do you do to a duck with no bill? Please, leave the duck alone, it's bad enough for him having no bill.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

how do you make a plumber cry kill his family

thumb_up thumb_down +22

How did the fireman get the cat out of the tree? He shot it.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why is the world round? Because oranges are purple.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What do you call batman when we lost all his money? Broke

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why'd the chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock. Whose there? A chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Long ago, when sailing ships ruled the sea, this captain and his crew were always in danger of being boarded by pirates from a pirate ship. One day while they were sailing, they saw that a pirate ship had sent a boarding party to try and board their ship. The crew became worried, but the Captain was calm. He bellowed to his First Mate, "Bring me my red shirt!" The First Mate quickly got the Captain's red shirt, which the captain put on. Then he led his crew into battle against the mean pirates. Although there were some casualties among the crew, the pirates were defeated. Later that day, the lookout screamed that there were two pirate vessels sending two boarding parties towards their ship. The crew was nervous, but the Captain, calm as ever, bellowed, "Bring me my red shirt!" And once again the battle was on! The Captain and his crew fought off the boarding parties, though this time more casualties occurred. Weary from the battles, the men sat around on deck that night recounting the day's events when an ensign looked at the Captain and asked, "Sir, why did you call for your red shirt before the battle?" The Captain, giving the ensign a look that only a captain can give, explained, "If I am wounded in battle, the red shirt does not show the blood, so you men will continue to fight unafraid." The men sat in silence. They were amazed at the courage of such a man. As dawn came the next morning, the lookout screamed that there were pirate ships, 10 of them, all with boarding parties on their way. The men became silent and looked to the Captain, their leader, for his usual command. The Captain, calm as ever, bellowed, 'Bring me my white flag!"

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did the horse fall over? Because I shot it

thumb_up thumb_down +20

the blonde choked o a gummy bear. What happened next? she went to the hospital

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Roses are blue, Roses are red. Give me your money, Or I'll cut off your head.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Dead babies.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What's one thing a black man can't have? White skin

thumb_up thumb_down +16

ME: HEY ZACH DO YOU KNOW WHO LIKES YOU................... ZACH: NO!... WHO.... ME: DO YOU REALLY WANT TO KNOW??? ZACH:....YEAH!!!!!!!!!! ME: OKAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY NOBODY!!!!!!!!!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA

thumb_up thumb_down +16

why did the chicken cross the road? it didn't it got hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

you wanna hear a joke? no

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Last night I had consensual sex with my long term girlfriend in the missionary position. It lasted approximately 4 minutes before I ejaculated into the durex extra safe condom.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

If you saw two cowboys in a kitchen, which would be the real one? Why do you automatically assume one of them is false, or that either of them is real?

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What did the teacher say to the student who stepped on a rusty nail? You have to go to the Nurse's Office to get a band-aid- I don't have any.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding half a worm in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A priest and a rabbi walk into a mosque.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

what do you do when you see a 40 ft tall gorilla? WHO CARES, RUN!

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops