KEVIN HART

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What do you call an elderly women who after the death of her late husband had many enconters witb men? A whore.

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Why couldn't the Little Boy hear his mother yelling at him? Because his mothers died

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DONALD TRUMP DIES

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What do you do to a duck with no bill? Please, leave the duck alone, it's bad enough for him having no bill.

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how do you make a plumber cry kill his family

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Why is the world round? Because oranges are purple.

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What did Tommy's father tell him on Christmas? Nothing, he was violently stabbed to death on Christmas Eve.

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Long ago, when sailing ships ruled the sea, this captain and his crew were always in danger of being boarded by pirates from a pirate ship. One day while they were sailing, they saw that a pirate ship had sent a boarding party to try and board their ship. The crew became worried, but the Captain was calm. He bellowed to his First Mate, "Bring me my red shirt!" The First Mate quickly got the Captain's red shirt, which the captain put on. Then he led his crew into battle against the mean pirates. Although there were some casualties among the crew, the pirates were defeated. Later that day, the lookout screamed that there were two pirate vessels sending two boarding parties towards their ship. The crew was nervous, but the Captain, calm as ever, bellowed, "Bring me my red shirt!" And once again the battle was on! The Captain and his crew fought off the boarding parties, though this time more casualties occurred. Weary from the battles, the men sat around on deck that night recounting the day's events when an ensign looked at the Captain and asked, "Sir, why did you call for your red shirt before the battle?" The Captain, giving the ensign a look that only a captain can give, explained, "If I am wounded in battle, the red shirt does not show the blood, so you men will continue to fight unafraid." The men sat in silence. They were amazed at the courage of such a man. As dawn came the next morning, the lookout screamed that there were pirate ships, 10 of them, all with boarding parties on their way. The men became silent and looked to the Captain, their leader, for his usual command. The Captain, calm as ever, bellowed, 'Bring me my white flag!"

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Dead babies.

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the blonde choked o a gummy bear. What happened next? she went to the hospital

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I don't get it

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What's one thing a black man can't have? White skin

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why did the chicken cross the road? it didn't it got hit by a bus.

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you wanna hear a joke? no

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If you saw two cowboys in a kitchen, which would be the real one? Why do you automatically assume one of them is false, or that either of them is real?

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Tacos

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How do you kill a fox in Canada? Cut it's leg off and let it run!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have schizophrenia, and don't have any friends

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what do you do when you see a 40 ft tall gorilla? WHO CARES, RUN!

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A priest and a rabbi walk into a mosque.

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Jewish People

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what do u call a hobo name Max Max

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anti jokes are like dogs They both rhyme with Maths

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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