Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a bagel.

You know what's worse than finding a worm inside an apple? finding crack, too late to spit it out.

A woman is getting in the shower but the the doorbell rings so she puts on her towel and gets the door a man is there asking for sugar. Then she gets back into the shower then the doorbell rang again so she puts on her towel and anwsers the door another man is there he asked for some batteries she gave him some and went back to the shower. Then she hears the doorbell again she thought since there wasn't anybody else that lived on her street she decided to just go to the door without her towel so she answers the door thinking the blindmans there and it was the police man.

KEVIN HART

It's a scientific fact that if you took all the veins out of your body, and lined them up end to end, you would die.

I don't often drink beer. But when I do, I recklessly beat my wife and kids.

Why did the man loose his balls? he had testicular cancer and had to get them removed.

Knock Knock Who's There? Just open the damn door I forgot my key and I really need to pee

Q: What do you call a ghost with a broken leg? A: Hoblin Goblin.

Whats 2+2=? ?= CHICKEN

Why did the chicken cross the road it was out of its coop

A girlfriend scolds her boyfriend for "sitting on anti-joke all day." He then explains how it is impossible to sit on something that exists purely in digital form and instead noted it would be more correct to say sitting at a desk all day. She complied and saw the error of her ways.

what do you call a kid with no arms and legs under a bus an ambulance, he's obviously in pain

What's the similarity between a grape and an elephant? Both are purple except for the elephant.

whats better than shoes feet

Then there was that caveman that ordered a whiskey on the rocks...

What did Tommy's father tell him on Christmas? Nothing, he was violently stabbed to death on Christmas Eve.

Why couldn't the boy ride his bike? He had no legs. Why didn't he have any legs? He was hit by a truck.

Why didnt the kid go in the pool? Because there was no pool!!

I don't get it

What did the girl with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Raped

Why do white people wear black shirts? Why do black people wear white shirts?

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

Tacos

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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