Did you hear the joke about the pencil? Nevermind it was pointless.

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Whats funny about a guinea pig water skiing? The part where he explodes.

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I dunno, I dont grade love, I want to see you, touch you, bang you (sorry for not having the guts to use a nicer word, but I am tired and that is what I have in me now) And while that makes me sound like some hippy, I am very fucking picky about who I spend time with, and when. And I got no male friends, waste of time, why spend time with guys when I can spend time with chicks. Excuse me, just need my meds, speaking of sincerity, yeah I use medications, wont tell you what, but its well, not for my "mental disorders" I was born crazy, and I am going to die like I live: INSANE.

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yo mama is so fat she has more rolls than basken robins does flavors

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: He had no arms Q: Why did the frog fall out of the tree? A: He was stapled to the monkey's face

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What goes round and knocks on windows? A paedophile.

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whats worse than unloading a truck of dead babies with pitch forks? Finding one alive

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What do you call a dead guy under the ocean? Murder.

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How do you get a baby to be quiet? Put it in the oven for a few minutes

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WHat did the Somalian girl get for Christmas? AIDS

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Y didnt the grandma go to christmas? She died on thanksgiving

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Why did Helen Keller cross the road? Hoefuwpugosihfioapfsoihosw[

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Two men walked into a bar. Only one came out. What happened? One Passed out.

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Why is Apple so successful? Well, that is not a question that can be answered simply. Many factors are involved in this, including but not limited to marketing, customer support, and smart business strategy. For more information, please visit Apple's website.

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Whats white, fat, and looks like a horse? An albino horse who apparently has a high chance of diabetes.

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Your mama so fat she often lays awake at night wondering if you father is happy with their sex life. He isn't.

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You just made me realize something friend, and for that I am grateful, I quit and left the remains of what could have been put together again, I mean if the chance was there, I betrayed both you and myself by leaving a sinking ship. I keep telling myself that our dream has no chance of becoming real in a world where people lack what we consider vision, individuality. Now I realize that by losing faith in humanity accepting their individuality and becoming an author of fiction, I have indeed lost my own belief in a greater world, this of course being reflected upon the fact that I write fiction, rather than speeches and well, what I once considered wisdom. Its just that its lonely at the top, the wiser you become, the more alienated you become from the rest, and if others no longer grasp our concepts of wisdom, strength honor, love and such.. Then I suppose that we just end up lonely, as aliens in a world full of monkeys, until I have begun questioning myself if I am just an arrogant prick, and taken that for an answer. Then it does not matter if you have one follower or a million... ...The sensation of solitude, becomes overwhelming, I guess I have been looking around the world for a definition, rather than following my own heart. Listen, I wont pretend to be you, but I will gladly join you, but if you cannot accept us as equals, I decline. Hey on the brighter side, I always got a "man that likes men" vibe out of you, I suppose I got myself a fan huh? Someone trying to copycat me. Damn, I feel broken, or maybe I just realized how broken I have allowed myself to become, lets say you are not really a woman and where using this in order to break me. Then I gotta say you got me there, and I am not proud of that, I guess that you trying, where I gave up, makes you the better one regardless.

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why did the monkey fall out of a tree?? a snail threw a refridgerator at him

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What do you get if you cross a bomb expert, and a homophobe a blow job

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And so he penguin said, The is my most casual outfit!" HAAAW

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What's grey and doesn't climb trees? A car park.

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How do you stop a black kid from jumping around in your bedroom? Chuck him out of the house.

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Why do women wear perfume and makeup? They smell bad and they're ugly.

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What has four legs and is always ready to travel? Siamese twin fugitives.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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