How do you know there's an elephant in your refrigerator? Look at your refrigerator.

That`s my friends phone, I can call you from mine too if you want, please just don't hurt me, let me speak to you, I promise I will explain everything.

A gay man walks into a pregnant woman

Why do women live longer? Once their sexual and metabolistic hormones are moleculy different from men's, their metabolism is different and act on different organs and vice-versa. Therefore, they live longer. Still, in a worldwide average, more men born than women.

How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Only one, but he may forget to finish the task due to his Alzheimer's.

Roses are red, my binoculars are blue. When your window's open, i'm watching you.

So a man walks into a bar. Unfortunately, he had brittle bone disease, cracked open his skull and bled to death on the pavement.

There once was a mam from Peru He dreamed he was eating a shoe It wasn't... It was a goat

you are looking on the internet someone falls over and i were shoes and chips prevent world war 2

Where do you find a dead hooker? where you left her.

What's Hitler's favorite drink? Jews (meaning juice)

What do you do if life gives you lemons? Whoa... where did these lemons come from?

Why did the teenager take a shower? Because she was brutally raped by a serial rapist and felt dirty. Unfortunately for her, she was unaware that she was washing off the prints from her body and the rapist was never found

what do u call a kid at school a school kid and i have enough of these anti jokes they are not funny

What did the orphan do on his birthday? He burned down his orphanage, he hated the place because he was severly abused.

What's gay black & Jewish? The Ku Klux Klan

One time there was a guy who jumped off a bridge and died

What musical band do you get if you keep shouting while in the mountain? The rolling stones. What do you get if you keep shouting in a snow covered mountain top? Blizzard Entertainment.

What's disabled and red all over. The kid I hit with my car.

So a pirate walks into a bar. He sits down, and orders a drink. After giving the pirate a drink, the bartender looks down and notices that there is a steering wheel on the pirate's penis. "Sir, are you aware that there is a steering wheel on your penis?" The bartender asked. "Arrrrrrr, it's driving me crazy!" The pirate replied. "Well you should probably get that checked out soon," said the bartender, "It looks very uncomfortable and could be dangerous to your health...not to mention your penis is out in the open." "Yes, you are probably right," the pirate agreed. He proceeded to get a ride from a friend to the nearest hospital, for drinking and driving can be dangerous, and steering wheels on penises are not safe.

Why does everybody look at the foreign boy strangely? Because he was ugly

Q. What did the chicken say to the buffalo? A. Nothing, this is an improbable predicament.

Whats the difference between a Jew and a Pig? One makes bacon when smoked.

Why did the boy fall off the swing? Someone said "catch" and threw a bowling ball at him.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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