My dog has no nose. How does it smell? It doesn't

Q:why did the guy go to the doctor? A:I dunno, he must have gone for a good reason

What happened to the lady? She queefed.

"I'm gonna fight fire with fire!" "won't you just get more fire?" "True..."

How do you circumcise a cat? Shoot an orphan in the leg with a rail gun.

Hellen Kellers dad put a plunger in the toiler and left it there. Hellen Keller went to use the bathroom and.. moved the plunger so she could take a shit.

Yo momma so old that she has started to look into an affordable life insurance plan to ensure all her final expenses are taken care of.

Why did the plane crash? Because a loaf of bread was the pilot.

A person was born on may 5th 1955 and one day noticed that they had $555.55 in their bank account. The person went to a race and betted all their money on the 5th runner in the 5th race. What happened? The runner came in 5th place.

Whats the difference between a kangaroo and a kangeroot ? Ones a marsupial. The others a Geordie stuck in a lift.

What is green, has four legs, and if it falls out of a tree and onto your head, it will kill you? A pool table.

How do you get five black men in a car? You offer them a good deal, then show them the car fax.

Roses are stools, Violets are bums, sugar is knit, thank you, LSD.

A man is at the doctor's waiting to be examined. The doctor walks into the room and takes one look at the man. The Doctor says, "You will need to stop masturbating." The man looks at him and says, "What, why?" The doctor says, "so that I can examine you"

yo mama so ugly she made a happy meal frown.

Why did the aisian man get pulled over? Because he was going over the speed limit .

what do you call cheese that isn't yours? not your cheese, you probably stole it.

what do you do when you see a black man punching a girl? act like you dont see it and get the hell out of harms way

why did the little boy start to cry? because his parents didn't love him

Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No.. Neither have they.

What's the difference between my girlfriend and a dead baby? I don't make out with my girlfriend after sex.

Why doesn't Billy like his new step-dad? He's secretly a murderer and only Billy knows, he wants to tell the police but hes afraid to.

How do you starve a Mexican? You stick him in a secure room and deprive him of food resources

What's worst than the finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust. What's worst than the Holocaust? Finding two worms in your apple. What's worst than finding two worms in your apple? Finding seven dead babies in a trash can. What's worst than that? Finding one dead baby in seven trash cans.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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