What's windy and sunny at the same time? The weather.

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My grandma has this joke where she says "knock knock." I say "who's there?" She says "I can't remember" and starts to cry

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the elephant asks the man, " how do u breathe out of that thing?" the man proceeds to explain to the elephant how he breathes out of his nose.

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What is one similarity between John Samos, and the dreadful clown? they have a red nose and are payed to be funny, aside from John Samos!

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What did the confused blonde girl ask to a nearby student? Nothing. She isn't supposed to chat because it's study hall and they enforce a strict "no talking" policy.

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What does it take to make the best anti-joke ever? not this

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A Jew, a Christian, and a Muslim walk into a bar. A good time was had by all, until closing time.

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What do you call a guy with out any arms or legs floating in the ocean? Bob

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A ginger, a brunette and a blonde all go to the store. They are checking out and the ginger says to the blonde, "Why did you get that cereal instead of the one on sale?" And the blonde says "Because I have a membership card that gave me a discount on this cereal." The ginger gets out of line to return her cereal because she remembers she too has a membership card. And then the brunette pulls out a gun and shoots them all because she has depression and needs psychiatric help.

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Q: Why is asprin white? A: It works.

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Once opon a time there was a black America He name was Bob

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"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "Yeah, but you make a really great sandwich!"

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

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why did the 42 inch plasma screen blow-up 6 hours before the england match ? because it knows .

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hows your wife she died 7 years ago really mine too

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A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

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Why did the boy fall off the swing?

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Why did Li Chong get an A on his math test? He studied.

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josh moran where your Bluetooth gone?

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Mother Theresa, Billy Graham, and Joseph Smith walk into a bar. Just kidding, no they didn't.

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Why didn't Jimmy do well at school? Because he was recently in a car accident, which severely damaged his brain, making it difficult for him to learn things, because of his severely damaged brain, which he got in a car accident, which he was recently involved in.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To warn people on the other side that the sky was falling Why did the cow cross the road? Cause he had madcow disease Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? Cause he's Chuck Norris Why did the Mexican cross the road? He was on his way to America Why did the black man cross the road? He was just running to his car you racist.....after he had robbed the bank Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass

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What do you call a dog with two tails? ...Depends on what you named it.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Dog Dog wh- wait how did you knock? *mindblown*

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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