Knock Knock! Who's there? Dog Dog wh- wait how did you knock? *mindblown*

thumb_up thumb_down -28

whats worse than having the flu? having cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What did the the water hose say to the man? Nothing, but the sight of water made the man thirsty and he drank to excess and died from dilution of his blood.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Why did the blonde fail her drug test? She's actually never did drugs before but since she didn't show up for appointment, that counts as an automatic fail.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

What gets wetter as it dries? Sarah Jessica Parker

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Why didn't gram-pa give his grandson a Birthday present? Because he had Alzheimer's and forgot about him.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

What starts with 'd' and ends in 'ick'? dick -XH

thumb_up thumb_down -40

AntiJoke will not let me type this so I will add some spaces. N I G G E R.

thumb_up thumb_down -48

How do you make a person dissapear? You can't that would break the laws of physics, so therefore rendered impossibe.

thumb_up thumb_down -52

Where does Mario go after you finish the game? Drug rehab.

thumb_up thumb_down -64

a pan of muffins comes out of the oven one muffin says "hey im really burnt" another muffin says "oh my gosh! a talking muffin!"

thumb_up thumb_down +29

the other day i was walking down the street and saw a black man carrying a tv. i thought to myself, "hey that looks like mine!" but then i was like nawwwwwww, mine's at home...... shining my shoes -_-

thumb_up thumb_down +19

ROSES ARE RED VIOLETS ARE BLUE HERE'S A KNIFE KILL YOURSELF KANE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Person 1: Why can't a T-Rex clap? Person 2: BECAUSE THEIR ARMS ARE TOO SMALL! Person 1: No, because they are extinct dumbass

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Yo mama is so fat that her doctor advised her to get some exercise or risk developing a heart condition!

thumb_up thumb_down +15

a man was beating his wife his wife asks him to stop he says no and continues beating her

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A jumpercable walks in the bar the bartender says ill get you something but dont start anything.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What is worst than Justin Bieber new album? Being a jew during the holocaust or aids.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A paralyzed person walks into a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

WHAT DOES A NUMBER DO WHEN IT'S HORNE? MATHDERBATION

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A horse walks into a Bakery and asks "Do you have any wheat bread?", and the Baker replies "No, we only have white bread." So the horse says: "Thats okay, I rode my bike today."

thumb_up thumb_down +11

The boy said to the priest, may God be with you. The priest responded with, "And also IN you".

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Guess whats in my hand. Can you guess? A gun. Bam bam, you're dead. Haha

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why didn't the 1 month old chicken cross the road? Because by that time it's already a Mcnugget.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops