What did the Colombian say to the Peruvian? Quieres lleyo?

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Why did the deer cross the road? The overpopulation of man has caused an expansion of construction into the habitat of the deer and it has required him to occasionally frequent human populated areas.

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Nero, you got followers, people that believe in you, ironically maybe a lot less now, that I have been giving them the fake illusion that I am you, why did you never reveal your true self? Is there something wrong with you physically? Something you fear being judged upon? I love and admire your work, and you to be honest, I know you are married and all, but my heart has chosen its path, it cant be helped really, believe me, I have tried. Dont lose hope in yourself, sometimes you have to accept that you are smarter, wiser, more compassionate and vulnerable than the rest, allowing yourself to be a vulnerable person, also shows how strong you are, if you shut it all away in order to become "strong", you know you end up alone and forgotten. I understand why someone such as you loses hope in humanity, but as long as you hold into the hope of you having the wisdom and courage required to stand on your own with pride rather than shame of your strength and individuality as a human being, something ever rarer I concur, then you have the right to consider yourself greater rather than some arrogant jackass, believe me, I know the man I am speaking about.

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What do a turtle an a bird have in common? They both fly except the turtle

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A man walked in to a store and asked for four candles. The storeman brought some fork handles and placed them on the counter. The customer said "No... 'Four Candles' a rather amusing sketch performed by The Two Ronnies, a comedy double act in the 1970s."

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Q. Why were the children sad? A. They'd just been abducted by a dodgy old man in a van.

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How do you get a girls number? Grow some balls and ask for it.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I hate you so suck on poo.

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What's funnier than a joke book? 2 joke books.

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You have 37 candy bars and you give your friend 12. What is the square route of the sun? Yes

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A Stoner sees a bag of chips.

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Why did the Mexican mow the lawn? He needed money to feed his family and to pay for his daughter's college education.

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What do you get for the man that has everything already? Another one.

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Why is Stevie Wonder always smiling? Because he's usually in a good mood.

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Q-Why the baby drop is lollypop? A: He got hit by a truck

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What's the only thing better than winning a gold medal in the special olympics? Not being retarded.

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Two pen state administrators walk into a butt

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-Why was six afraid of seven? -Because seven's a rapist

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Knock Knock Who's There? Im Black Im Black Who Open The Door Now Pancakes Granted

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Why does Magic Johnson have to use extra-large condoms? Because he's got a giant dick and HIV.

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person 1: hey! guess what? person 2: what? person 1: i once saw a brown polar bear

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Q: Why did Robin Williams kill himself? A: Because he was jealous of all the attention that Phillip Seymour Hoffman was getting.

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because they're extinct.

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What do blind people see when they close one eye? Nothing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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