Q: How do you make a five year cry twice? A: There are many ways, as children are generally not that adept at controlling their emotions. Loud noises, threats of violence, images of scary monsters... those tend to work. Be sure to let them stop crying before making them cry again, otherwise you will have only made them cry once.

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whats a muslims name with a bomb to his chest Whatever his name is HAHAHAHAHAH

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I remember my first beer. It did not taste good to me at the time.

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wats green, fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree, it would kill u? a pool table

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Once i tried to do math ! She wasn't getting wet so i stopped!

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What did the father say to his son? ....nothing

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Q: How many elephants can fit inside a Volkswagen Beetle? A: Four.

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Your momma is so fat that she decided to begin an exercise program and eat healthy and she lost weight.

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Why did the accident happen? The breaks on the car stopped working. Why did the breaks stop working? The driver was drunk.

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Why do black people always sit in the back of the bus? There aren't any available seats in the front.

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Why did the little boy throw rocks at his sister? ...Because she has cancer.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because his hands were amputated.

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whats the difference between an iron and a priest? An iron is a hand-held device which presses clothes and a priest is a person who is authorized to perform the sacred rituals of a religion.

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Captain Falcon is eating a restaurant. After he sits down at his table, a waiter comes by to take his drink order. Not wanting to skew his blood alcohol level for his next race, he asks for a non-alcoholic drink. The waiter says, "We only have water and punch. Which would you like?" Captain Falcon replies, "Water, please."

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

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How do you get a blonde to eat crayons? Threaten to kill her parents with a hacksaw.

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What do you say to the woman who just got raped? Nothing you just raped her

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Q: What did the homeless man say when he was mauled by a bear? A: Ouch.

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In a stranded island, a plane crashes. Only one man survives. He asks himself "Where do I bury everybody else?" The others proceed to look at him strangely. He was the only surviving male.

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Q: What's black and white and red all over? A: Someone who just got stabbed to death reading the newspaper.

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Q: What do you get when you mix root beer with a cloud? A: Nothing, you idiot.

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why did the boy fall off his bike? because his mum through a fridge at him

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Forward this anti-joke to at least 15 people And absolutely nothing extraordinary will happen in the next 10 minutes.

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Knock knock Who's there? Knock Knock I said who's there? My name is Knock Knock Oh hi Knock Knock, come in

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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