I got 99 problems, and most of them involve my terminal illness.

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so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

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What do you call a horse with a missing leg Calling it names could be considered animal abuse and should be reported immediately

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be. He could not be. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. He's either in great danger or has a psychological disorder.

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Why isn't the dog a rebublican? Because it's a dog.

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johnny goes to the shops asks the lady at the counter, can i go home The Lady says ..... Buy one get one free

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What's better than your first Hanukkah? Not being a Jew.

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why did the man sell the car and bought worse one? it' s his hoby to restore cars

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knock knock Goodbye

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Burp

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'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King. After being told politely that Big Macs were served at McDonald's and not Burger King, he walked out and drove to the nearest McDonald's.

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roses are red, no one gives a shit, get back in the kitchen and bring me my chicken dips!

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What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? Robin, get in the car.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was died...

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I have existed for over 6000 years and around vi0lating people long before you where ever born kid... You do not believe me you say? friendly r*pist neighbourhood Moral Man: You do not believe me? According to this DNA test... Welcome to papa son/daughter... Its time to make you a man/woman now, and then TIME TO MAKE YOU my BlTCH!

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How did the chicken cross the road?he just got up and walked to the other side.

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I like my women like bacon. Greasy and full of wrinkels

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why was the black guy smelly? because his white friend threw him in a dumpster

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There were two penguin's sitting in a bathtub. The first penguin says to the second penguin, "Hey, pass the soap." And the second penguin says, "What do i look like, an alarm clock?"

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Did you hear about the kidnapping in Pennsylvania? He woke up...

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How do you have sex with 9 giraffes? you don't because that's weird

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Why do Jews have such big noses? They don't; To suggest phenotypic variation along religious lines is preposterous.

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How many jews can you put in a four seat car? two in the front two in the back.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops