what did the apple say to the orange? :nothing because an apple is not a human organism nor an orange therefore they can not speak....

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A hasidic Rabbi and a member of Hezbollah enter a bar in a Jewish settlement. (No, of course they didn't.)

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Why did the McCann's parent's leave the window's and doors open? Because Portugal is a very hot climate, And they expected the place they were staying to be safe as lot's of tourist's stay there throughout the year.

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How many jews can you put in a four seat car? two in the front two in the back.

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What do you call a person with one eye and no arms? Names.

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Because the tractor hadn't seen the chicken.

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That awkward moment when the moment is awkward.

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What would a gay, transgender, mexican man say to another? We could have butt sex.

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What is stupid, black and high? A stupid black kite.

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What's the difference between a grape and a duck? They're both purple, apart from the duck.

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Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, But the very next day, I died.

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Knock Knock? Who's There? Sgt Constable Ian. Sgt Constable Ian Who? It's Sgt Constable Ian - I'm here to see you about your alleged rape charges.

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Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

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What do you call an orange fruit? An Orange.

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What do you do if some idiot throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back.

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Q: How are a plum and a rabbit alike? A: They're both purple, except for the rabbit.

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Q: What do you brush your teeth with, sit on and sleep in? A: A toothbrush, a chair and a bed

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What do you get when you cross an elephant with a giraffe? A really f*cked up hybrid.

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What about the cool kids down the block. Their friend just died with a serious health condition.

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Why did the man feel like he was flying? Because he had just committed suicide by jumping off of a tall building.

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This is an anti-joke. It is not funny because "anti" means the opposite of something.

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Why Didn't jeff go to school yesterday? He was dead.

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Why did Lucy fall off the swing set? Because she died. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Lucy.

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What did the jewish man say to the Irish guy at the bar? Are you Irish?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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