How did the little boy fall over? He was tripped up by his alcoholic father.

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What do you call a man with no arms in the middle of the ocean? Mike.

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civil rights

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Q: Were yyoouu talking smack about me? A: what? Q: did i studder? A:yeah you said yyoouu Q: well were ya A: no Q: oh ok.. A: k bye..

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A man decided it was time to quit his job so he put his 2 weeks in and went to look for another job.

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Most adults can swim. Current government studies are investigating similar skills in babies. With unnecessarily large pools.

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Why didn't the Mexican go to college? He was caught smuggling drugs over the border and was shot.

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What do you get if you cross a fairy cake with some boiled parsnips? Fladgemuffin

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Why did blonde drown? As a child a child she never learned to swim since she did not enjoy swimming.

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Fiona: SHREK! WHERE WERE YOU TONIGHT? Shrek: Out clubbing with the boys. Fiona: What did you do. Shrek: Eat Jews. Borat: iz vedy naaace

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NASA sent a probe to Uranus and wondered why people were laughing.

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Well Here Goes Nothing And nothing happened

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What did the Atlantic Ocean say to the Pacific Ocean? Sploosh

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Did you hear about that anthony weiner guy. He is very depressed, and your mother has cancer.

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A man walks into a bar, the bartender says had a bad day the man says yes... he orders 10 shots goes home and shoots his neighbors

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, most chickens are held on farms, but those that do roam free are afraid of automobiles so therefore they wouldn't go near a road at all. But if the chicken was located in a deserted town there would be no traffic, so then it would be able to cross freely over any road there and not get injured or mortally wounded.

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A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

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What's blue and thrashes about on the floor? A baby playing in a plastic bag. How do you make a man pregnant? Stick a dead baby up his ass! How do you stop a baby falling down a manhole? Stick a javelin through it's head. How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends how hard you throw them. -S

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Someone: I like my coffee like I like my men Someone else: Black? Someone: No, tied up, shoved in a burlap sack, and dragged through the mountains.

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One time I said to my friend, "There are too many black people in this country." I forgot he was black.

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How old are you? 7

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What's green and runs through the forest? - A pack of cucumbers. What's wrong with that? - Cucumbers aren't pack animals.

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Q: Whats better than not being a Jew? A: Being a Jew.

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how do i know if my husband is cheating? beat him until he tells you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops