Two guys fight over a girl. The girl gets up from under them.

Why can't the blonde dial 911? The battery on her phone is dead and she needs to recharge it. (Good thing there's no emergency.)

There was a bunch of kids on a bus. One boy yelled "Look a squirrel!" Nobody saw it because he's dyslexic

Mother: "George what happenend to your pet rock?" George:"I dont know." Mother:"Here! I found your pet rock. It was in the same place it was before!"

Why did the elephant get on the roof? To jump in the pool.

What do you call cheese that isn't yours Stolen propety....

What do you call an alligator in a circus? Testicular Cancer.

Why did Hellen Keller's dog run away? Because it could see and hear.

Why did the girls ice cream melt? She was on fire.

What happened to Jillian when she walked out the door? She got hit by a bus A. Knock knock B. Whos there? A. Not Jillian

Whats worse than losing your entire family in a car accident? Luikimia

Do you know why the Mexican didn't like hot dogs? I don't know either.

Why did the prince kiss his beloved just before going into battle? Intermission.

What did the blind man say to the mentally challenged man when he bumped into him? Watch where you're going, retard.

Q: Why did the boy have blue balls? A: because the respectable girl with high self esteem refused to give him head.

When Hitler was a girl she had hyjenical warts and when she got older she had beast cancer.

Why did the dinosaurs go extinct? I don't know.

why was the tricycle lonely? the mom back over the kid in the driveway.

roses are red vilits are blue get in the van or i kill you

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

Why is Wednesday a bad day? Because at some point, Monday will come around again.

Women's Rights

What's black and white and red all over? A black, white, and red shirt.

what did the panda say to the poachers? please stop killing my family.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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