Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have a gun! So I KILL YOU!!!!

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Roses are bitches Violets are two, your mother is a bigger bitch then both

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Stripper went to strip club to ask for work. - It was closed

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Where did Sudie go during the bombing? Everywhere.

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why did the man french kiss the horse? because he was high on l.s.d and confused the horse for an attractive male because he himself was homosexual ps vagina monkeys and chili

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What's the difference between an orange? A bicycle because a vest doesn't have any sleeves.

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What's funny about Magic Johnson's T-Cell count? Nothing. He has AIDS, and it's a degenerative disease, that will eventually result in death. There's nothing funny about that.

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What's louder than a cat stuck in a tree? A foghorn.

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what did charlie sheen do when his ex wife insulted him? he horribly abused her

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Why didnt the boy finish the race? Becuase he stepped on a land mine.

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Why did the sperm cross the road? It didn't, as sperm cells have tails not legs, and are therefore incapable of crossing roads.

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What do you call a black person who flies a plane? A pilot.. You racist bastard.

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Your mom's house is so old, that she has rats and other various critters such as spiders, gnats, and mosquitoes.

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John and Marry wanted an abortion. God just laughed And Jesus was born Merry Christmas everyone!

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Q.whats long, black and hard to cut through? A.a line at kfc!

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What's the difference between a clever trick and a computer programmer? A clever trick throws you for a loop, and a computer programmer throws you a for loop.

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a black guy a white guy and a spanish guy walk into a bar, after they left the bar they became good friends despite thier differences.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had celebral palsy.

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If there's something strange in your neighborhood. Who ya gonna call? The Police.

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Jack be nimble. Jack be quick. But Jack still couldn't out run that bullet.

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Pickup line: Hey babe, do you know what time it is? Because I don't wanna be late for class and if you told the time, it will surely help me because I'll be able to arrive early at my class not to mention it would greatly improve my punctuality efforts to help me pass the class this semester. Geez, I remember back in middle school there was a guy name Billy Jones and he used to always be late for class. His name was Billy but we called him Bill. Bill was his nickname but his real name was Billy. Anyways, he was always late for class because he would always make the best barbecue ribs in town.... (45 minutes later...) ....and I told Bill, "Man, if you were to just ask what time it was it would greatly help you in arriving to class early." And he was was like "I know but..."And then I cut him off and I said "But nothing. I don't care what kind of barbecue ribs you make, you just can't do that." So there I was, me and him, sitting down and .... (3 hours later...) ...it was awesome. Boy, I remember back in the early 90's when I was at elementary school, it was a stormy weather and we had to go to class. That's when I met Clarissa. She was a really nice girl and I remember there was a time when... (to be continued....)

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Knock Knock F*ck of I'm watching p0rn

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bite me

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Knock-Knock Who's there? Ketchup. Ketchup who? Ketchup-mustard.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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