Knock knock Who's there? To To whom? No, its To Who now, since I married

thumb_up thumb_down +15

how do you save a car from falling out of an airplane? I don't know.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Is Barack Obama a dentist, a teacher, or the president of the United States? A dentist. He just happens to have the same name as the president.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A jumpercable walks in the bar the bartender says ill get you something but dont start anything.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other... Uh oh. A car just ran it over.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What do you call someone who can legally murder? OJ Simpson

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did the prisoner get for Christmas? A lethal injection.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Q. How many men did it take to build a wall? A. None, the wall is already built.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Your moms so fat she struggles to to everyday tasks

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Dries Roelvink walks into a bar...

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why was Luke named Luke Skywalker? Because he walks to skies.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

why was 9 afraid of 6 ? because it made her pregnant

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Q: What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? A: Reading re-posts of classic anti jokes posted by lonely teenagers.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How much does a polar bear weigh? Depends on the polar bear and its dietary habits

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the boy fall off the purple cliff? Because someone cut of his legs and arms and threw him off.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Q: What do you get when you have water, sodium C14-16 olefin sulfonate, glycerin, disodium lauroamphodiacetate, polysorbate 20, cocamidopropyl, betaine, PEG-6 Phenoxyethanol, PPG-15 Stearyl, Ether, Citric Acid, isocateth-20, Fragrance, Methylparaben, Tetrasodium EDTA, Xanthan Gum, Propylparben, Ethylparagen, and Camelia Sinensis Leaf Extract? A: All New Clean & Clear Oil Free Make-up Dissolving Foaming Cleanser.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

The boy said to the priest, may God be with you. The priest responded with, "And also IN you".

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q. why did the black man cross the road? A. Cause there is no law saying he cant

thumb_up thumb_down +5

what do you call a girl that just took 15 loads to her face? sasha grey.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A B C D E F G.... Gummy bears are chasing me 1 is red, 1 is blue 1 is tryin to steal my shoe now i'm running for my life cuase the red 1 has a knife

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's worse than burning your tongue drinking hot chocolate? Being shanked by a homeless man.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Do you know whats funny to say to someone unless they're black. Your ma's in jail.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How do you steal from a sushi buffet? You say please.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops