Q: What do you call a black person living in the United States? A: An African American.

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Why did Li Chong get an A on his math test? He studied.

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Once there was a baby ostrich name Bert. He was the cutest ostrich with those big black beady eyes, fuzzy feathers and funny wobbly baby ostrich walk. I knelt down and as Bert came running towards me as if I were his ostrich father about to protect him from something dangerous. As he got within arm’s reach I punched him so hard he turned into a baby kitten. I decided that Bert was an ...insufficient name for a baby kitten so I said to the purring ball of fuzz “I shall call you Turtle” a kitten named Turtle was a very hilarious conundrum. Things went well for an hour or two and then Turtle decided to pee on my tile floors which infuriated me because everyone knows that cat pee doesn’t come out of carpet! I decided to teach Turtle a football drill called kick the cuddly baby kitten so hard he turns into a koala bear. I sat Turtle on a football tee and suddenly our eyes met and he stared at me with the cutest face a kitten has ever made I took three steps back and turned back towards him. I stared into his big baby kitten eyes and then at a running sprint kicked him as hard as I could into the wall. There was a quiet sound like that of a space shuttle taking off into outer space. As I looked to see where my kick had sent Turtle soaring through the air, I found to my surprise, Turtle had turned into a cute cuddly baby raccoon. I walked across the room and scooped up the adorable baby raccoon. A raccoon named turtle was just too absurd so I decided to give the furry ball of warmth a new and more appropriate name. I stared into his cute raccoon eyes and declared aloud, “I shall call you Dorito!” I rocked Dorito calmly back and forth in my arms until he was fast asleep. A thought then entered my head, how funny would it be to put Dorito into a chip bag? I chuckled aloud and then decided my mind was set. I pulled a chip bag out of my backpack and carefully pulled the bag open and realized I’d been scammed! Inside the bag was a single Dorito chip. I then ate my Doritos.

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haha women's rights.....what a joke.

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What did the the water hose say to the man? Nothing, but the sight of water made the man thirsty and he drank to excess and died from dilution of his blood.

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What's more absurd than a goldfish astronaut? A jew that cares about palestinians

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Whats worse than stubbing your toe? The Holocaust.

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Why did the boy fall over? Because he got hit by a car. Follow forever.art7 on Insta.

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there's a new drink out called the Bin Laden... it consists of two shots and a splash of water

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Q: A man walked into a bar and said, "Ouch!" Why? A: The man walked into a METAL bar.

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Why was the trucker making noises? It was having sex with someone

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How often does the lesbian vampire group meet up? Never. Lesbians don't exist.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. At least that's what I've heard, I'm blind.

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What do you call a Mexican that sails a ship? A sailor

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Why did John get hard? He froze to death

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Roses are red, Violets are dead, I've climbed through your window, I'm under your bed.

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What is black white and red all over? A zebra which a lion did not finish eating.

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A dancer walks into a barre

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Dear paranoid people who check behind their shower curtains for murderers, If you do find one, what`s your plan?

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Three Blondes were walking when they come upon some tracks. The first blonde says they're deer tracks. The second blonde says they're elk tracks. The last blonde says they're moose tracks. While they are all arguing about what type of tracks they are, they get hit by a train.

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what did the deaf guy say when the poor man asked how life was? the deaf guy didn't respond considering the fact that he was deaf and would never interact with a poor man.

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A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. There is a frog in his beer.

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Q. What do birds and a mouse have in common... A. Nothing there two different species

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roses are red violets are blue I suck at poetry time for lunch :D

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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