A Muslim walks into a bar No-one survives the blast

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I walk into Tesco and wrestle an obese women for a packet of ''Mini's Biscuits''. This quarrel was over nothing but a trolley filled with them. I gradually became infuriated. Meanwhile, an employee commited suicide.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The Gestapo.

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How many black people does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just one

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What looks like mud, smells like mud and eats mud? An African

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Haikus are easy. But sometimes they don't make sense. Refrigerator.

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Doctor! Doctor! There's a fly in my soup! Gross.

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A horse walks into a bar You have been reading so many anti jokes that you can actually anticipate the anti-joke punchline to this joke, because it is one of maybe 3 or 4.

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Why did the washing machine laugh? Because it took the piss out of the knickers!!!!! :)

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Q:why did jimmy fall of a swing? A:Because someone threw a fridge at him

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Yes.

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What's worse than celery stuck between your teeth? A cruise ship stuck between your teeth.

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Why doesn't Austin have sex? Because when his wife gets hot he puts dirt on her and hits her with a shovel

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What is the difference between Jesus and jackAwhole lota fat

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what do u call a hairy cow? Harry

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A dog was barking at a tree

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Q:How many Elephants can you fit in a Audi quatro? A:It just sits on a leaf and waits for the autumn... Moral: Just sits on a three and waits for it to turn into four.

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He who laughs last gathers no moss.

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what's white and long and hairy? -Dean when hes on his period

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What do u call a joke with no punchline? An anti-joke

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What is dark in the darkness even if you shine a torchlight on it? A blackman

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What is the difference between a calendar and you? A calendar has dates!!

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I am a mime

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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