What did Helen Keller get for Christmas? Glasses

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A moose walks into a grocery store. He goes over to a cashier and says, "On what aisle are the potates?" The cashier replies, "Aisle 4." The moose went to aisle 4 AND THERE WERE NO POTATOES!

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what did the duck with roller skates say to the camel? how are the wife and kids?

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How many blondes does it take to screw a lightbulb? There's too little information to come up with a reasonable answer.

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Why did the black man fall down the stairs? Because he was blind

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I know that a lot of people don't like morbid jokes, for it isn't everybody's cup of liquidized dead baby.

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My neighbours found out this morning that I'm a serial killer. Knock knock [L]

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You know what pansies remind me of? What? A flower

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A duck walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, what can I get you?" He is then checked into the psychiatric ward at the local hospital, for talking to a duck.

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Whats green has 4 legs and would kill someone if it fell out of a tree??? A pool table.....

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What is worse than being paralyzed from the neck down Nothing

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Women, "Did just pinch my ass!?" Man, "Yes." Women, "Oh, alright then."

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How did the man break his arm raking leaves? He fell out of the tree.

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There was a Jewish man and a German man why was it akward? Because one of them farted

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What's upside down? umop apisdn

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My Penis is so big. How big is it? If you lay my penis down beside another similarly lengthy object, approximately 10" long, it would most likely surpass the length of the object you chose to measure it to.

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You know what's real bullshit? That stuff that comes out of a bull's ass.

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Why did the blonde run into a screen door? Because screen doors are difficult to see when one is running at full speed

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What did the chicken say to the cow? Cluck cluck Knock knock Who's there Chicken Chicken who? Chicken go cluck cluck, cow go moo Piggie go oink oink, how 'bout you?

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I wrote a funny joke.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, My grandmother has degenerative brain disease, We may need to euthanise her.

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What did Joe do after the party? He went home.

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What do you call a black man helping an old woman cross the road? A concerned citizen.

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What succeeds most of the time? The population of a field with grass.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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