A man walks into a bar and says, "Hey, Jim, your wife just died from terminal cancer." Jim then says, "Cool. Hey, do you know if the games on tonight?"

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What is long, hard, and full of seamen? a school bus, if you consider children to be seamen

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Roses are red Violets are blue We decapitated some little children Now I'm in jail too.

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Who stole the cookies from the cookie jar? Who me? Couldn't be.

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you go to cvs and theres a robber trying to shoot everyone and the cashier says do you have a rewards card

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A Jew, a Christian and a Muslim are on a plane to France. When they arrive in Paris one will go visit a friend who recently found inspiration in the many magical streets of the city and is in the middle of a year abroad. Another will search for a job and home to support himself and any future family that he might choose to have in the future. The last will check into a hotel and proceed to have a wonderful time seeing all the sights that Paris has to offer.

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If it's mid-july and there are flying cows everywhere, how many bacons does it take to impregnate a spaghetti ? 3, because because vases can't swim in the dark.

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How many sheets did the Asian want on his bed? "You sheet on my bed I kill you!"

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what did the little boy get for christmas? nothing his parents stuck him in a mental ward to forget about him because he was mentally challenged.

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Whats green and gets you really high? A green airplane

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What happened to the Jew who went to France? He had a very enjoyable time and visited many of the remarkable landmarks around the country.

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What do you call a cow painted in red a cat ( PS : i lied about the cow + the paint ! )

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A black duck walks into a bar. Duck: "I'll have a beer." Bartender: " How you paying for that?" Duck: "Put it on the tax payers."

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What would happen if Obama got reelected? The economy would turn to shit.

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What's sad about a guy jumping off a cliff? The cliff.

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What's John Lennon doing these days? Decomposing.

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Why is the sky blue? You like men.

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My neighbours found out this morning that I'm a serial killer. Knock knock [L]

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: To get to the other side

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer caught it.

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tiger woods played golf against peyton manning and yet tiger still cant win.

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What did the black man say when he jumped in the pool? The water's nice, you should join me.

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Whats worse than a worm in your apple? Two worms in your apple...

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Why did the McCann's parent's leave the window's and doors open? Because Portugal is a very hot climate, And they expected the place they were staying to be safe as lot's of tourist's stay there throughout the year.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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