Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got a gun, get in the van.

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? Two in the front, three in the back, and 278 in the ash tray/\.

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a larger worm in your apple.

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was deaf, dumb, and mentally retarded; you sexist fiend.

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Why should you never push a Mexican off a bike? Because he will file a lawsuit against you in the event of an injury.

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Once upon a time there lived 3 polar bears; a mummy polar bear, a daddy polar bear and a baby polar bear. Ond day the baby polar bear said to the daddy polar bear "I don't feel like a polar bear, I'm cold!" and the daddy polar bear said "You look like a polar bear."

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How do you get dislikes on anti-joke.com? You can dislike your own post from several different IP addresses.

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A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

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Roses are red Bob is dead My name is Dave Your a microwave

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Gods like Santa one day you'll get to the age of reason and see how dumb you were

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Why isn't Michael Jackson good at chess? Because he's dead.

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why did the cow say baaaaa ? it was a stupid cow

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Heard about the dyslexic fellow who sold his soul to Santa? That worked out OK, but Christmas was hell.

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What's black and white and red all over? A penguin in a blender.

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Q. What do you call a black pilot A. A pilot

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How do you get the icing in the middle of a cupcake? Cupcake raper...Duh

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Hey, you why you say poo poo nae nae watch me whip, and do the dougie, and then happy halloween? Potato Salad

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A dyslexic walks into church and asks the priest. "Father is there a dog."

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A man walks into a bar. He has a nice drink and leaves.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Bob, your neighbor. Okay, come in.

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How did the chicken cross the road? Suicide. There was a graveyard across the street. RIP Mr. Chicken.

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Why did the guy go to the strip club? To look at naked people.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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Anti jokes are stupid Anti jokes are dumb I'm a pedophile, You better run.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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