Q:your jetski loses a wheel. how many pancakes does it take to fix your house? A:blue berry icecream.

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Why did the car go down the road? Someone was driving it. Why did the car stop? Because he suddenly fell and had a stroke.

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In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, It's none of my business.

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What's the difference between my dog and my wife? I respect my dog.

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand, as asks the man running the stand, "Hey, got any grapes?" The man suffers a heart attack from the shock of a talking duck

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Yo mama so old, she must take arthritus medicine to keep out of extreme pain.

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Why did little Annie fall off the swing? Cause her penis was too heavy.

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Did you hear about the blonde that crashed her car? No. Is she okay?

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What is a pirates favorite crime? Piracy, which is still a serious problem in today's society.

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A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

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Why did the guy run out of the whorehouse? Because when she spread her legs it looked like she was pulling apart a grilled ham and cheese sandwich.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, The first line is spelled wrong, Ha, I tricked you

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What did the elephant say to the naked man? "Cute, cute, but can it pick up peanuts?"

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A Johnson walks into a hole. Why am I in this hole? Because rape is not an option.

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Hitler has a certain "genocide-quaw" about him

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when geese fly in a v formation, why is one side always longer then the other? Because you touch yourself at night...

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she was deaf and blind, which both make it very unsafe for her to drive.

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What's the difference between a Pile of Dead Babies and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamboghini in my garage

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Why couldn't Jimmy eat his food? Because I threw a microwave at him

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Hi, my name is Mark and I have dead babies in my garage... Just kidding. My name ia not Mark.

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Knock Knock? Why did you just say knock knock just ring the doorbell

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Q: What does a bunny and a plum have in common? A: They're both purple except the bunny.

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They found Michael Jackson dead in his house and found Madeleine McAnn in the cupboard 8P

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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