I met a muslim girl the other day Shes the bomb

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What do Justin Bieber and corn have in common? They are both fruits. Except for the corn.

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Gods like Santa one day you'll get to the age of reason and see how dumb you were

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How is a monkey like a bicycle? They can both climb trees. Except for the bicycle.

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What's windy and sunny at the same time? The weather.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. Traffic was too backed-up so the chicken took a different route.

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why did the chicken cross the road it didnt it got eaten

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Word Problem Q.John has 32 candy bars. He eats twenty eight of them. What does he have now? A. Diabetes. John has Diabetes.

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No smoking No eating No drinking On this bus Didn't say anything about sniffing

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Your momma soo fat.... that if she doesnt start exercising and eating right she will be more likely to get adult onset diabetes.

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A man is at the doctor's office and the doctor says to the man: "I'm sorry sir, you have AIDS and Alzheimer's disease." The man says: "Well, at least I don't have AIDS!"

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how do you upset an obese cat? you put her in dog sweaters

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What does it take to make the best anti-joke ever? not this

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a bmw? I don't have a bmw in my garage.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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What do you calk a dirty mexican? a hard working gardener

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Roses are grey. Violets are a different shade of grey. Let's go chase cars. -Dog

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There is a Asian a black guy and a white guy the black guy loves apples the white guy loves pears and the Asian loves Macaroni the white guy gets a apple the black guy gets a pear and the Asian has no lunch so the black guy kills the white guy for the apple and the Asian kills the black guy because he is hungry

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why couldnt the african child eat enough food? he didnt have a mouth.

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What do you call Charlie Sheen when he's on drugs? Charlie Sheen.

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Chuck Norris was dropped twice when he was a baby, once on concrete and once on hardwood

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My grandma has this joke where she says "knock knock." I say "who's there?" She says "I can't remember" and starts to cry

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Although I guess there is probably no way to get on the swing with no arms unless there was another person there to aid you in the process, and that is highly unlikely because nobody wants to hang out with a girl with no arms. Still even if Suzie was helped on to the swing she wouldn't be able to swing because of her lack of arms. Maybe that person who helped her on pushed the swing with her on it bearing in mind she has no arms. In that case Suzie should stop hanging out with that person because they are very sadistic to deliberately shove a girl with no arms off a swing.

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What do you call a dog that has no legs? It doesn't matter because he will never come.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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