No smoking No eating No drinking On this bus Didn't say anything about sniffing

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What's funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown suit.

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how do you upset an obese cat? you put her in dog sweaters

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A man is at the doctor's office and the doctor says to the man: "I'm sorry sir, you have AIDS and Alzheimer's disease." The man says: "Well, at least I don't have AIDS!"

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Your momma soo fat.... that if she doesnt start exercising and eating right she will be more likely to get adult onset diabetes.

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why couldnt the african child eat enough food? he didnt have a mouth.

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What do you calk a dirty mexican? a hard working gardener

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a bmw? I don't have a bmw in my garage.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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What do you call Charlie Sheen when he's on drugs? Charlie Sheen.

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Roses are grey. Violets are a different shade of grey. Let's go chase cars. -Dog

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What does it take to make the best anti-joke ever? not this

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Chuck Norris was dropped twice when he was a baby, once on concrete and once on hardwood

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What do you call a dog that has no legs? It doesn't matter because he will never come.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Although I guess there is probably no way to get on the swing with no arms unless there was another person there to aid you in the process, and that is highly unlikely because nobody wants to hang out with a girl with no arms. Still even if Suzie was helped on to the swing she wouldn't be able to swing because of her lack of arms. Maybe that person who helped her on pushed the swing with her on it bearing in mind she has no arms. In that case Suzie should stop hanging out with that person because they are very sadistic to deliberately shove a girl with no arms off a swing.

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My grandma has this joke where she says "knock knock." I say "who's there?" She says "I can't remember" and starts to cry

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Q: Why did the man eat the banana? A: Cuz he was hungry!

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What's black and white and red all over? A Nazi banner.

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"How high are you?" "I don't know, sir." "Well, look at the god damn altimeter."

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

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Q: Wanna hear a dirty joke? A: A kid fell in the mud.

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A Jew walks into a bar and says drinks are on me.

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roses are red, violets are blue with a face like yours, you belong in a zoo but don't worry, cos I'll be there too not in the cage but laughing at you!

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What more fun than a barrel full of monkeys? A barrel of dead babies

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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