I was going to type an anti-joke but I totally forgot how it starts. It goes something like something something something something something your mom's a whore.

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What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? A= Were both lawyers! What happens every sixty seconds in the us? A= a minute passes!

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What do you call a white sheep with no legs? A cloud What do you call a black sheep with no legs? A shit.

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What would Bruno Mars do if he was on the moon? Gasp and grab his throat in an attempt to get oxygen flowing into his lungs with no avail.

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I like my wine like I like my women. Not at all.

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What looks like mud, smells like mud and eats mud? An African

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There once was a boy walking over a railroad track. He got hit by a train. He died.

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Q. What's cold and has no feelings? A. A pole

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Why does Mario grown on shrooms? Because they bloom inside of him.

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What's purple, green, and orange? Dead baby with slashed floaties. What's black, purple, and orange? Same baby two weeks later.

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A man walks into a bar. On impact, he suffers quite the blow to his head, resulting in him falling unconscious. He is escorted to the hospital, where he is pronounced in a coma on arrival. His family is left devastated. His wife, who was a stay-at-home mother to their 2 children doesn't take this news very well and is sent into a spiraling depression. 16 years later, the man finally wakes from his coma to find that his son and daughter that he had left behind where now grown teenagers and almost done with high school, his wife's has remarried and given birth to his half-child. This is why you don't text while walking down a sidewalk.

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Two cannibals are eating a clown one turns to the other and asks "does this taste funny to you?" The other cannibal says " yeah because the clown has been dead for weeks."

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A black man and a mexican man are in a car. Who is driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. The mexican, Alex, had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. Rain had suddenly come upon them and a passing off-duty police officer had picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel. The three men had drinks and the friends had a wonderful rest of their trip. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months after their return John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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What's black and white and red all over. Nothing, that's a contradiction.

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An elephant and a hippopotamus were taking a bath. The elephant said to the hippo, " Please pass the soap." The hippo replied, "No soap, radio."

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Comes a giraffe on a scooter to the hospital and asks: 'can I have some flour?'.

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You want some cake? Sure! Okay, go buy the ingridients and bake me some. YAY!

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A rabbi walks into a bar mitzwa.

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What's worse than the holocaust? Finding half a worm in your apple.

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How do you drown a black? - pop their lips

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What did the hitler youth kid get for Christmas? An easy bake oven and a G.I. Jew.

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"Knock, Knock." "Who's There?" "Banana."

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If you see a person falling down your balcony, Say cya later!

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What should you never give to your friends as a wedding present? An old plastic bag full of rubbish.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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