What did the deaf blonde say to the brunette? Nothing.

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Why do cats have nine lives? Because they don't have ten.

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rock-a-bye baby on the treetop When the wind blows The bass will drop!

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You are the most beautiful person in the world.

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"Why did Jim Jones put cyanide in the People's Temple Flavor Aid?" Because he understood that adding sugar would be bad for their teeth.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was persecuted for his faith.

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casey, that is all, ruddel, that is all, hi mark

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What is the difference between a pig and a crow? One is a animal that Is butchered to be eaten as a wonderful meat product. And the other is a pretentious asshole bird that no one likes.

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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Fred: says hi Bob: says shut up why the hell do you have to be so rude!!! Fred:thankyou ob thats better

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A apple is red a banana is to never mind that joke sucks

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I just sharpened this hatchet Don't make me use it!

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How do you kill a blonde? Kick her off a cliff.

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Whats red and smells like blue paint? Red Paint.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The Police. She told me she was nineteen.

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So, im new at this site and i was wondering how do you make an anti joke?

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Why did the chicken fall down? Because it wanted to have fun

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Q: Why did the little boy fall off the swing? A: Because he was hit by a bus, and then was raped violently. He is currently undergoing psychotherapy.

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Why are babies like shake weights? Cause If you shake them long enough, they both end up being inanimate objects.

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I'd like to advertise the love of Jesus in Kobane. Do u join me next Monday? :D

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A classic (apologies if it's been posted before): A woman was riding the bus home after a day of shopping. Suddenly she jumped up, shouting "may aspirins! My aspirins!" The driver replied: "You probably left them on the counter at the drugstore."

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The patient says, "Give me the bad news first!" Doctor replies, "You've got AIDS." "Oh, no! What could be worse than that?" asks the patient. "You've also got Alzheimer's Disease." Looking relieved the patient says, 'at least it shall be over quickly.'

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What did the cow say to the chicken? - Muuuuhhhhhhhhh!

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ok so ive been pondering for a while now for a joke to submit and here is what ive got, tell me what you think: quif stain

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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