How many kleptomaniacs does t take to screw in a lightbulb? What lightbulb?

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How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at its face.

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Haikus are easy Im happy when I write them Thats pretty much it

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be. He could not be. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. He's either in great danger or has a psychological disorder.

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A horse walks in to a bar. The barman says: "Why the long face?" The horse does not reply because it is a horse and can neither speak nor understand English. The horse is startled by it's surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables on it's way out.

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Why didn't Jane go to school last Thursday? It was summer. No one went to school last Thursday.

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Knock Knock? Who's there? Doctor Doctor Who? It is a science fiction show about a time traveller

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Yo mama's so fat, she died of a mixture of obesity and type 1 diabetes.

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What do you call a man with a spade stuck in his head? An ambulance, he may be in need of urgent medical assistance

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Joey: hey bobby who you talking to? Bobby: oh yeah I forgot to tell you your mom died.

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whats worse then getting a parking ticket? the plague

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Allah walked into AK Bar

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apple was gonna make a smaller ipod for kids but decided not to because they didnt want the name to be itouch kids.

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qu'est ce qui est petit et poilu? un asticot poilu

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What did one bunny rabbit say to the other bunny rabbit? I'm a bunny rabbit!

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A Jew walking in the street sees a homeless person asking for charity. He reaches to his pocket, grabs a penny, greets her with a nice smile and gives away the penny.

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Have you ever watched that show on Lifetime about that woman?

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Q:Whats yellow and white and sits at the bottom of a pool? A: A baby with slashed floaties Q:Whats red and gory and sits at the top of a pool? A: Floaties with a slahed baby

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Why did two girls need one cup? they didnt feel like washing an extra dish to drink their coca cola

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whats worst then geting a used condom put in your mouth geting wraped by mario then lugi

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Q: What do you brush your teeth with, sit on and sleep in? A: A toothbrush, a chair and a bed

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when chuck norris does a pushup, he is tearing the muscles in his biceps, deltoids, core, and triceps in order to make them stronger.

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When life gives you melons you may be dyslexic.

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What's the difference between a panda and a baby? I don't have a baby in my freezer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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