Q: How do you make an onion cry? A: You can't, it's an onion.

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What's as hard as a rock? A rock

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whats worse then getting a parking ticket? the plague

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Why did the turtle cross the road? Because there was a chicken stapled to his face.

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there's a worm in my lime at least it doesn't have scurvy

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a dyslexic man walked his god.

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there were two cyclists cycling at a steady pace down a main road in china, one irish and the other chinese. now they happened to be cycling at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace. why did the irish cyclist get pulled over and the chinese not? because the irish cyclist had in fact brutally raped and murdered a young child in his home town and then fled the country to china.

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What do you call a Muslim flying an airplane? A pilot, what did you think it was? F**king Racist dumbass

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why was the boy sad he had a frog stapled to his face

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How did the black man burn down the house. He threw a flaming match through the window.

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I have existed for over 6000 years and around vi0lating people long before you where ever born kid... You do not believe me you say? friendly r*pist neighbourhood Moral Man: You do not believe me? According to this DNA test... Welcome to papa son/daughter... Its time to make you a man/woman now, and then TIME TO MAKE YOU my BlTCH!

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When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

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How to make deep fried chicken. Step 1: Go to your local swimming pool. Step 2: Throw a dead chicken into the deep end. Step 3: Strike the chicken with lightning. Step 4: Remove your newly fried chicken. Enjoy!

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Why did the chicken cross the road So he could get back to the farm and lay more eggs

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Why did the chicken cross the road? it was thrown

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Dam. Mothers Against Dyslexia.

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What did the soldier get for his birthday? Shot in the face.

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what did the soup kitchen give people for christmas Meatloaf] -Fluzturnusturbusturcusterdustur

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how do you keep an idiot in suspense. I dont' know he still hasn't told me

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how did the black guy get into school? he walked thru the front door.

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What is worst than Justin Bieber new album? Being a jew during the holocaust or aids.

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How many Cancer patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One. Cancer does not affect one's ability to install light bulbs.

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What's the difference between a panda and a baby? I don't have a baby in my freezer

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs going down a mountain? A: As good as dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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