How did little Jimmy survive the 5 story fall? He didn't

thumb_up thumb_down -8

what's blue and looks like a shirt? a blue shirt

thumb_up thumb_down -8

If the 49ers won the superbowl

thumb_up thumb_down -8

"what did the priest say to the rabbi?" "what" "my religions better

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A guy walks into a bar. But this was a bar like a pole, so the man ended up with a broken nose.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

hi hey i hate you why you ate my mother she tasted good i like fried chicken ITS A SMALL WORLD! SO DO I well lets go to the beach ok

thumb_up thumb_down -10

There are 3 prisoners inside a cage. All the prisoners are blind folded and wearing hats. They are told there are 5 hats all together, 2 blue hats and 3 red hats. If one of them can answer what color hat they are wearing they are all set free. However, they have no idea what color hat they are wearing, only what color hat the other prisoners are wearing. They are also not allowed to tell what color the others are wearing. So the game begins: The first prisoner takes off his blind fold. The guard says "What color hat are you wearing?" and the first prisoner says "I don't know." The second prisoner takes off his blind fold. The guard says "What color hat are you wearing?" and the second prisoner says the same thing, "I don't know" Now the third prisoner didn't even need to take off his blind fold. He already knew the answer. He said, "Sir, I know I am wearing a red hat" The guard smiled and all the prisoners are set free. Why? If the first prisoner saw the other prisoners blue hats then he knows he's wearing a red hat because there are only 2 blue hats and 3 red hats. But he sees one guy wearing blue and one guy wearing red, so he says "I don't know." The second prisoner took off his blind fold and the same thoughts occur. If he saw the other prisoners wearing all 2 blue hats, then he knows he's wearing red. Instead, he sees one guy wearing a blue hat and the other guy wearing a red hat. So he says "I don't know" Now the third prisoner doesn't even need to take off his blind fold. Why? He heard the other prisoners saying they don't know, which led him to believe that all they saw was blue and red hats. That means if he takes of his blind fold he will see that both of the previous prisoners will be wearing blue hats and since there are only 2 blue hats available, he must be wearing a red hat.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A man finds a magic lamp and rubs it. A genie appears and says that he will grant him 3 wishes. The man says "I wish for a duck". POOF! He got a duck. Then he says "I wish for a penguin". POOF! A penguin magically appears. He thought long and hard for his 3rd wish. Then he said "I wish I had a turtle" POOF! Suddenly out of nowhere the genie disappears. The man looked inside the magic lamp and saw a small turtle. The end.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Question: how many times a power rangers episode show a power rangets face ANSWER: dont ask me im not that big of a power rangers!

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the woman leave the kitchen? ?? She had just prepared her breakfast and was late for her full-time job as a police officer.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's the difference between a Jew and an apple? One of them is a fruit, and the other is not.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Knock Knock Who's there? You have AIDS.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What did the psychiatrist say to the man wearing nothing but Saran Wrap? - "That's for food. You should wear clothes instead."

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Whats a six letter name for black people? Friend.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A black man walks up to a white man, and the black man says YO DIGGITY DAWG WASSAP FO DRIZZLE PLAYA BEEP BOBOTY BOP. And the white man stands there, confused as to what the black man said.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the batmobile? 'Get in the batmobile Robin'

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Q: Knock knock Q: Who's there? A: Not Suzie

thumb_up thumb_down -10

I don't understand what's so bad about a worm in your apple. Just get the proper software to clean it up, or even better, get a PC

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What do you get when you run from Long Island to New Mexico? Tired.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Where did jimmy go when the bomb exploded.... (Everywhere )

thumb_up thumb_down -12

what do you do after throwing a water bottle in the trash? Hug a tree

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Twelve billion Nero, you puppy dog you hot blooded latino man. Why cant I control it myself?

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why would Jesse Ziegenbein and Terran Hansen make a good couple? Because they both smell like shit and are fat as hell

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Kevin and Ramin

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops