If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

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Q: Why did Timmy cry? A: You would too if you had your arm cut off

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin? I don't know what they said, but one muffin, had a knife.

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Why did the man scream? He got shot in the eye with a nail gun.

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The man said to his wife love hurts. the wife then progressed with punching in the face.

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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Why was the house on fire? A dog peed on it.

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How did the Mexican get across the boarder? He applied for a student visa. He was a promising young scholar who had no trouble being accepted to a prestigious college.

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A little girl meets a homeless guy named Ian McDermott in downtown Atlanta She then screams stranger danger and a nearby policeman comes and arrests the man.

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Q. How many blondes does it take to put in a lightbulb? A. Cause of 7,8,9!

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What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill.

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whats the difference between a can and a fish?they can both swim. exept for the can.

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How do you confuse an English Professor? Light your pants on fire and flop around like a fish.

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I'm a burrito... With a big shirt.

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Why did the bus drop his icecream? He was hit by a boy

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why did the feminist cross the road? to suck a dick

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What did the girl say before she jumped a bridge? "Do you think I can jump off this bridge?"

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What do you hear when the world trade center collapsed?, no seriously I wasn't even three yet.

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i saw amango it splootered

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He who laughs last gathers no moss.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To go home and beat his wife

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So a guy walks up to a gay guy and says: "You are a fag." The gay guy says: "That is very offensive, you jerk." So the guy says: "Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know what it meant" and the gay guy says: "I accept your apology." Then the gay guy crosses the street and gets hit by a bus

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What's black and white and red all over? A skunk in a blender.

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Know what im sayin'? No but im wearing pants

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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