My mom told me and my brother to lean up on a commercial...we were watching netflix

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You know most poems rhyme, This one doesn't

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Chuck Norris was dropped twice when he was a baby, once on concrete and once on hardwood

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What color is Michael Jackson? Pale because he's dead.

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What's the best thing about twenty three year olds? there are twenty of them

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a bmw? I don't have a bmw in my garage.

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How many babies does it take to paint a fence? depends on how hard you throw them.

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Q: Why did the man eat the banana? A: Cuz he was hungry!

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Your mom is so fat her daily calorie intake is dangerously above the recommended 2000 per day.

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why did bob eat the cookie? because he was hungry

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Q:Why did the boy drop his ice cream? A: A terrorist threw a refrigerator at him then slapped the ice cream out of his hand

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What do you get when you pull down your pants in public? Most likely a criminal record for indecent exposure.

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Who's Juan? DIS ONE

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

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Q: Wanna hear a dirty joke? A: A kid fell in the mud.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Sunflowers are yellow, Daises are white.

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What more fun than a barrel full of monkeys? A barrel of dead babies

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Why wasn't the cab driver sent to prison after bombing the school? It was a suicide bombing.

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so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

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like this or you will die at some point in your life

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A man walks into a bar, furious that his son had been knocked down by a car and was now in hospital with a fractured leg and concussion. Another man, who sits on a stool at the end of the bar, is playing with his drink and wondering if his wife had made a chicken curry, since she said she would for tonight's dinner.

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What is the one thing you can never steal back? Your viginity.

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Did you hear about the three black guys who got run over by a car? No? Neither did Ray Charles!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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