What do you call an armless, legless man hanging on a wall? Art.

Your momma is so fat, she should be concerned about her increased risk if a heart attack because of her poor eating habits.

Roses are Red Violets are Blue Even though I can't tell Because I am color blind

What did the man say after jumping into a well? He didn't say anything because he died instantly after jumping head first into a dry, 20 foot well. His family mourned for three days.

What has Whitney Houston got in common with a spider? They're both black and they can't get out of the bathtub

why did the man break his arm? he didn't, someone else broke it for him

Jesus on the cross promised he would return rite? So three days later he returns in ghost form and leaves. So why people still waiting for him? He returned and left already! (Lack of Moral?): The third coming: this summers blockbuster hit!

What is the one thing you can never steal back? Your viginity.

Whats worse than finding a repeated joke on anti joke? The holocaust Whats worse than finding a repeated joke on anti joke? The holocaust

What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a ferrari? I don't have a ferrari in my garage.

What time is it when an elephant jumps over your fence? Actually, elephants don't jump.

What's white and sticky.... Jizz

A Jew walks into a bar...He uses his coupon to get a free drink, then leaves.

On a scale of 1 to Chris Brown how angry are you?

I will create more jobs for americans

A blond, a brunet, and a red head jumped off a bridge. Which one hit the ground first? In order to solve this problem you would first need to figure out witch of the three had more of a body mass. Then you would need to calculate the accretion in case one brought along a cow. However, in the end the outcome is always the same: 3 dead bodies on impact and 3 mourning families.

Why do people waste there time writing Anti-Jokes Becuase they enjoy there right to the 1st ammendment and who are we to question it

An egg and a sausage walk into a bar, and the barman says "sorry, we don't serve breakfast".

What is green and red and is going super fast? A frog in a blender.

Why didn't Rosa Parks get her fat black ass up? Because she was an avid partier and had anal with roughly 8 different guys the night before.

What do you say if you see a black man with blood on his hands and he has a mask on? Thank you doctor for saving my sons life!

Yeah, "master hypnotists" (and do not even get me started on hypnotherapists, they completely suck!) keep claiming that you need to keep up to date with the "constantly developing art of hypnosis" The thing is though, that hypnosis does not develop itself, people develop it further, and when the key ingredient is actually believing things under a certain state, you can do anything, even slow the passage of time to a halt. Once I tried that, I was disappointed when I figured out that it did not work, so I went shopping (for groceries), then realized that no time had passed at all, sounds like bullshit, and yeah I wont be trying that again anytime soon, lucid dreaming is good enough, you can spend hours and hours in a lucid dream state, days, and then wake up and figure out you slept like two hours or something.

what did little johnny get his grandfather for christmas?nothing his grandfather died on thanksgiving

How do you know what to order at a Creole restaurant? Ask the waiter, they are usually familiar enough with the menu to make an educated recommendation.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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