What's worse than finding your cat dead? Finding your cat dead because it choked on your goldfish.

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A man walks into a bar. Three hours later, ambulances arrived, because the man was knocked out. The man who saved was known as a hero, and was awarded a medal for his good deed.

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A Jewish man answered his phone one day. The man on the line said he'd kill him and all his family. The Jewish man then hung up the phone and resumed his everyday life.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks him "What will it be tonight?" He then promptly remembers he is on anti-joke.co but is too late to react. The horse has already shit on the floor. This is the fifth time this week that this has happened.

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Why couldn't the black man play hockey in college? He died of cancer while still in high school.

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so you're waling through the desert and a tire falls off your canoe. How many pancakes does it take to shingle a doghouse?

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What's worse than a piece of food stuck between your teeth? I don't know, what? A cruise ship stuck between your teeth.

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What did the cricket say to the fox? Cricket.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he got hit by a bus

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's wife? Neither has he.

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What's it called when One Direction wins a Grammy Award? It's never going to happen; so why give it a name?

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How do you stop a black person from drowning?.. Take your foot off his head

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What's black and white and red all over? Michael Jackson after his operation.

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You grand mothers so old she going to die soon.

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If a large bear falls out of a tree, why would a giraffe also eat the cheese?

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How many ADD kids does it take to screw...

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You dropped something.... Yo lip

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Two girls are in a car together. The one in the drivers seat is texting while driving. The girl in the passengers seat notices this and tells her the she should put it away in case of a risk of a collision. She apologizes and puts it away and the two of them drive to the store unharmed and continued their normal day.

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I don't want to share my name yet if that is okay, I mean I have not seen you, but you have seen me just saying. Tell me how old you are first, I am 26, or 27, being more or less an orphan since birth details like that kinda lose themselves. And no, its not Eliza, I will wait for you here if you do not mind, there are still people that have thought I am Nero all this while, that`s what worries me, I doubt I can convince them I am chatting with myself this time around.

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What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early warning sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak and will soon have her institutionalized.

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Q: y does obama keep raising gas prices A: he dosent want anyone to be able to drive to the poles in november

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What do you say to a woman with two black eyes? Nothing, you've already taken her police statement and she doesn't want to discuss the incidentit anymore until her lawyer arrives.

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What do you call an animal killed on the side of the road? A false accusation towards an inanimate object that has no other purpose then providing a safe and smooth ride for drives all around the world.

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whats 2=2? gonorrhea.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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