What's black and hangs from a tree? A tire swing.

What did the cricket say to the fox? Cricket.

what happened to the retarded dyslexic? he retard on his 60th birthday and took up gardening.

Ask me if I am a tree. "Are you a tree?" No.

Rose: Mom, why was I named Rose? Mom: Because when you were born a rose petal landed on your head. Rose: Than why is my brother named Brick? Mom: I liked the name.

why was the tricycle lonely? the mom back over the kid in the driveway.

what is worse than throwing a dead baby off a cliff? catching one with a pitchfork!!!!

Whats the difference between a baby in a comma and an iPod? I actually use the baby.

What kind of movies do pirates like? They don't know, Somalia doesn't have much of a film industry.

What do you call a penguin sliding down a hill how should i know.

A boy got scratched by a dog and nearly killed him. When he grew up, a dog came running up to him and started biting and scratching him till he couldn't handle it. Then a plane crashed into him and he died.

Why did Hellen Keller drive off of the cliff? Because she is a woman.

What did the paraplegic say when he walked? Nothing, paraplegics can't walk.

What do you hear when the world trade center collapsed?, no seriously I wasn't even three yet.

What did the girl say before she jumped a bridge? "Do you think I can jump off this bridge?"

Who would win if Chuck Norris and God fought to the death? None they are both fictional.

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

whats the difference between a can and a fish?they can both swim. exept for the can.

Q. How many blondes does it take to put in a lightbulb? A. Cause of 7,8,9!

Why was the house on fire? A dog peed on it.

What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill.

A little girl meets a homeless guy named Ian McDermott in downtown Atlanta She then screams stranger danger and a nearby policeman comes and arrests the man.

How did the Mexican get across the boarder? He applied for a student visa. He was a promising young scholar who had no trouble being accepted to a prestigious college.

Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...