Ice cream rules kids are great how thinks of this? Michael Jackson

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What's the different between jelly and jam? I can't jelly my penis up your butthole

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Why did the washing machine laugh? Because it took the piss out of the knickers!!!!! :)

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Hello.

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There was a blonde, brunette and red head driving in a car. The car breaks down so the three of them decide to walk. So the red head takes water bottles, the brunette takes food and the blonde took the car. The red head asked the brunette why she was taking the food, the brunette said "incase i get hungry i can eat" then the brunette asked the red head why she brought water the red head said "incase i get thirsty i can have a drink. Then the brunette asked the blonde why she brought the car the blonde said "to drive home".

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knock knock who's there? F uck F uck who? F uck off

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Why was Michael Jackson so bad at dancing? Because he had a broken leg.

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Pain Olympics.

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There are 2 cannibals eating a guy well one starts at the head and the other one starts at the feet the one at the head says to the other on how you doing down there and he said ohhh having a ball you!!!!

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How do you stop a baby from crawling in circles? Pick it up and put it in a crib, like a responsible parent.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because there were no cars in the way.

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whats then difference between a jew and a pizza ? A pizza doesnt scream when its put in the oven .

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Q: Why is Little Johnny in the hospital with a bullet wound and a broken arm? A: I shot him of his bike.

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For 10 cents a day you can feed an African...they eat pennies.

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Two frogs go to the bar only to leave because frogs can't open up doors.

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Why did sally fall out of the tree? Because sally was morbidly obese and uprooted the tree from underneath her subsequently causing her to splash violently on the ground. Why didn't sally get back up? Because the splash caused the earth to spin at 40000 rpm into the sun.

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Why did the black man cross the road? To get to the barber shop, which was located on the other side of the road. He then walked to the crosswalk, patiently waited, then crossed when the little person lit up.

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Why does Larry the Cable Guy get his own T.V. show??? Why can't I have one of my own??? .......ah...forgot....I'm a minority...

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know.

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It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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What starts with "P" and ends with "orn"? Popcorn

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Why did the pregnant Mexican cross the border? Nobody knows. She was shot down on site.

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What's the difference between tiger woods and Santa clause? Tiger woods is a thug

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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