How does an asian man drive? He hops into the car, turns the ignition, slowly accelerates from his parking spot and merges into everyday traffic

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Why was segregation made Illegal? because its more fun to break the law

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A leper sees that a woman has dropped a bag of groceries on the sidewalk. "Hey ma'am, can I give you a HAND?" asks the leper. "No thank you, sir. I can manage." replies the woman. "That's a relief," laughs the leper, shyly. "I am quite weak due to leprocy."

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Where did Tommy go after the bomb went off? Everywhere

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was convicted of murder and rape

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What can hurt you if you pee on it? A rabid grizzly bear

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How did the person die? He got hit by a car.

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Knock Knock. Whose there? The IRS. All your base are belong to us.

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Why did Tommy fall off the swing? Because he had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Tommy.

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What's as hard as a rock? A rock

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why didn't sue come to her son's baseball game? because he doesn't play baseball, he lost his arms in a horrible plane crash. besides, sue died in that accident anyway.

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Why did anna stop wanting to build a snowman? Beacuse she died of cancer.

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Twilight is so bad, I read it and personally didn't like it as a book.

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A black man is trapped inside a bottle, how does he get out? He doesn't it is simply impossible for a human to get trapped inside a bottle.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a Playground in her back yard? Neither did she.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm not good at rhyming turd

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What do you get when you see a black man writing? A man devoted to getting a education.

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Knock Knock.

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knock knock whos there the game __i lost the game__

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My friend was waving a stick around and yelling out spells, so walked up to him and asked "You want to be Harry Potter, don't you?" He replied excitedly "Yeah!!" So i killed his parents and locked him under the stairs.

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Why didn't the 1 month old chicken cross the road? Because by that time it's already a Mcnugget.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse says, "I have fetal alcohol syndrome."

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I'm schizophrenic and so am I. I also happen suffer from multiple personality disorder. Schizophrenia refers to separation of mental functions, manifesting in anti-social behavior and delusions, and is unrelated to the separate disorder of dissociative identity disorder, popularly known as multiple personality disorder, characterized by at least two distinct and enduring identities and dissociated personality states. Both are crippling to normal behavior and function due to lack of public awareness and funding. Now get out of our ghost train or we'll cut you.

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What did the soldier get for his birthday? Shot in the face.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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