Why can't Michel Jackson play chess? He's dead

A man is talking to his friend. The man suddenly picks up a banana. He says "hello anybody there?" The banana says "yes." After a while of conversing, the man suddenly puts the banana down in a sad type of way. The man then says to his friend "I'm sorry, but your sun has just died in horrible accident.

What kind of horse can do a backflip? No kind of horse.

What's John Lennon doing these days? Decomposing.

a girl had just gotten dumped by her boyfriend over a text message. she got very sad and became suicidal

Dear paranoid people who check behind their shower curtains for murderers, If you do find one, what`s your plan?

My neighbours found out this morning that I'm a serial killer. Knock knock [L]

Why is the sky blue? You like men.

Why did Timmy drop his ice cream cone? Because a skyscraper landed on him. Yes. A skyscraper.

Your Mother is so ugly that men tend to avoid her.

what did the man with Alzheimer's say to his son? who are you!?

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: To get to the other side

Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer caught it.

A man realizes the whole time he has wanted to fly like a bird. His funeral was two weeks later

what do you call a bunch of black people running down a hill Exercise

knock knock whos there? andy andy who? andy gold hi come in

tiger woods played golf against peyton manning and yet tiger still cant win.

What did the black man say when he jumped in the pool? The water's nice, you should join me.

One time, I saw this guy on stilts and thought it would be hilarious if someone pushed him over. Then some guy pushed him over and broke his neck.

what did the apple say to the orange? :nothing because an apple is not a human organism nor an orange therefore they can not speak....

What do you call a Muslim Extremest at the bottom of the ocean? A terrible tragedy for the Muslim community.

Why was the blonde on the train tracks? Because she was tied up by a madman on crack.

Why did the McCann's parent's leave the window's and doors open? Because Portugal is a very hot climate, And they expected the place they were staying to be safe as lot's of tourist's stay there throughout the year.

Whats worse than a worm in your apple? Two worms in your apple...

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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