Why don't women wear watches? In the technological age we live in, the watch is rapidly being replaced with other electronic devices that tell time, such as cell phones or iPods.

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Why does Matt Daly do in his free time? it involves his finger and his own buttwhole

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What time is it Mr.Wolf? About half 5. Alright, thanks mate. How's the kids? Managing. Yeah. Yeah. Crazy world. Anyway, Got to be going. Yeah yeah. Say hi to the wife for me. Will do. Alright, Bye. See you later.

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Your mum is so fat that she finds trouble fitting through thinner doorways

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Why does the kid cries when he sees me? Cuz i took his lollypop last week.

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hello what is this crazy nonsense site sl

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Why did the racist guy die? Because the black guy stabbed him with a fork.

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Guess what else smells like tuna!?! A dead tuna fish in a can

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The snails are salting one by one Hurrah! Hurrah! They fizzle up until they're gone Hurrah! Hurrah! We salt the snails and hear their wails As they melt and die! The snails are salting two by two Hurrah! Hurrah! They melt until there's only goo Hurrah! Hurrah! We salt the snails and hear their wails As they melt and die! The snails are salting three by three Hurrah! Hurrah! Some shells and slime is all I see Hurrah! Hurrah! We salt the snails and hear their wails As they melt and die! The snails are salting four by four Hurrah! Hurrah! We shaker-salt them even more Hurrah! Hurrah! We salt the snails and hear their wails As they melt and die!

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How do you kill a dead baby? You can't, it's already dead.

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How do you make a baby understand what you want? You color yourself purple, wear a yellow shirt, and do cart wheels while singing "The wheels on the bus go 'round and 'round!"

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Hey guess whats funny? Matthew Mcconaughey Oh wait, never mind

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Why did the boy stop working on a farm? His country became more economically developed.

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What did the fish say to the octopus? nothing... fish cant talk.

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A black guy walks out of a house with a t.v. He proceeds to put it into a moving van and moves into his new house.

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I once was an adventurer like you. But then I quit.

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What's scarier than a ghost? Ur mum.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who let the chickens out?!

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Why did the monkey fall from the tree? Because he died.

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What's worse than a bag of dead babies? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Jews.

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What came first, the chicken or the egg? Well, to tell you the truth, I think that the chick-fa-lea came first.

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Why did the kid fall off is bike? He was hit by a bus.

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How many infants does it take to paint a house? Forty-Seven.

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Why did the car drink Slurpies? I don't know. Why? Doorknob. Carl was unsure on what his friend, Frank meant when he told his joke, but then again who IS sure? Frank is the only one who truly knows what happened that day on August 13th 2010 when his mother came over for a surprise visit to her son's house just as Frank was heading out the door about to get in his truck and buy groceries, unaware that his mother was standing outside and bending over to ring the door bell not to expect Frank opening the door with his quick and violent actions thus hitting his mother in the face as the door swung open. Frank hadn't known his mother was at his house nor even remembered him but there she was, past out bleeding to death on his front lawn. It was Frank's fault that day, when his mother past away and reason why Frank hides his anger through his jokes. If only he hadn't opened that door he tells himself every night. Now he's cursed himself with his odd humour of using doorknobs as punchlines to hide his grief of his loss. And with that, Carl replies; Ummm.... I don't get it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops