Roses are red,violets are blue, i love the colour red and green but its a pitty because im not so keen.

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why did the mexican work for a lawn care service I don't know why don't you ask him

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Chuck Norris was in a staring contest with the sun. He's blind now.

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A black guy and a Mexican are sitting in a car who's driving??? The Cops

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What's the difference between a red shirt and a blue shirt? one is red and one is blue

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What did the purple dragon say to the unicorn? He doesn't say anything to the unicorn because dragons and unicorns don't exist. Even if they did exist, dragons and unicorns can't talk, unless we're talking about cartoons. Also, even if it was a cartoon or whatever, do you really think a purple dragon has ANYTHING to say to a unicorn?! Of course not! Oh look at me I'm a cool talking dragon, I have something so important to say to this unicorn. Gimme a break...

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What's worse than the holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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Why did the pumpkin stop using the jack hammer? Pumpkins cannot use power tools since they are nothing but an orange gourd. But, [for sport] say this ‘pumpkin’ was incarnate; one could assume he was done with his demolition work. He then would return the portable drill to the rental facility and get his deposit back.

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WHATS FASTER THAN INTERNET BUSTA RYMES

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What did the cat say to the dog? Miaow. What did the dog say to the cat? Miaow.

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What did the black man do to the white woman? I Dont KNow ask him

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Q:Why was 6 afraid of seven? A:Because seven ate (eight) nine

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In America you read books, but in Soviet Russia, it's exactly the same as it is in America, because it's not possible for books to read humans.

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(Something terribly disturbing that people find funny)

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yo mama is so fat, she's obeise

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Why was the fat man crying? He was sentenced to the electric chair for a murder he didn't commit.

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why did the baby fall down the steps? Because there was big earth quake that blocked his parents on the other side of the house, therefor leaving no one capable of getting to him befor falling

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My cat just died.

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What is the difference between a black baby and a tractor? A tractor is heavy and a baby is not

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what did little johnny get his grandfather for christmas?nothing his grandfather died on thanksgiving

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Q: what did the man with no eyes get for Chrismas? A: Reading glasses

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What happened when the man fell off the boat? He went into the water and was viciously mauled by 5 alligators then ran over by another boat.

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Why did the little boy throw his clock out of the window? After hours of searching for the snooze button to no avail, the little boy became so irritated at the incessant ringing of the alarm that he threw it out of his window in a fit of rage. The clock landed on an old woman who was walking twenty stories below. She was immediately killed on impact.

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If Alex Maitland reads this he is gay

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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