A midget, a nun, and a kangaroo walk into a bar, and the bartender says, "What is this? Some kind of joke?"

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Lukas: can i have a cigarette? Scott: i dont know can you? lukas: may i? Scott: NO

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How do you confuse a bar tender? You ask him how tender he is.

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Q: What do you call cheese that isn't yours? A: Cheese.

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Why didn't Jimmy do well at school? Because he was recently in a car accident, which severely damaged his brain, making it difficult for him to learn things, because of his severely damaged brain, which he got in a car accident, which he was recently involved in.

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What did the the water hose say to the man? Nothing, but the sight of water made the man thirsty and he drank to excess and died from dilution of his blood.

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What's more absurd than a goldfish astronaut? A jew that cares about palestinians

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Q: What are the best kind of jokes? A: The funny ones.

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Man goes to doctor, says he's depressed. The world is bleak and hopeless and life just isn't worth living. The doctor thinks for a second then smiles. "Treatment is simple he says, the great clown Pagliacci is in town. Go see him, that should pick you up." The man bursts into tears, sobs hysterically like a child, "But doctor," he says. "I am Pagliacci."

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Why was the trucker making noises? It was having sex with someone

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Roses are red, Violets are dead, I've climbed through your window, I'm under your bed.

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A dancer walks into a barre

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Why is the sky blue? You like men.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says 'Why the long face?' The horse says 'My alcoholism is destroying my family.'

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if you have 5 oranges and 15 ice cubes, how many pancakes can you fit on the roof? red, because aliens dont wear shirts.

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Wat did the man say to the other man when they were alone. We dont know. They were alone.

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Your moms so fat she struggles to to everyday tasks

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Why can't Timmy go on any rollercoasters? Because he's morbidly obese and it would a safety hazard.

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Is it not a antijoke? When your granpa uncle or whatever used to pull out basically worthless coins out of your ears? And each time you wanted for him to drag out so many you can actually buy some bubblegum or something, the "stash" you where saving diminishes the moment you receive a new coin? Moral: Dont believe in yourself! Believe in me! Because I believe in you!

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What's worse than a crying baby on a trans-Atlantic flight? A hungry lion on a trans-Atlantic flight.

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What should you do if you have a 10 inch penis? Subtly tell the world via an anti-joke

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Q: What did the nazi say to hitler? A: You like my Auschwitz?

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Why did the mexican go back to mexico? He grew up there

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How do you get a person to jump off a cliff? You push them.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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