What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Why was the chinese man kicked out of the bar? Because he was under aged

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance ? "because he had nobody to go with" No because it was dead.

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How do you sink a Polish submarine? Hit it with a torpedo.

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What is the difference between a Jew and pizza? Pizza does not scream when it goes in the oven.

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In Soviet Russia, man doesn't walk to the bar. The bar walks to the man!

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How many psychiatrists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just one, it's not that hard.

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Yo mamas so ugly that when she looked out the window, she was arrested for mooning.

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What did the virulent Homophobe do during the PRIDE national day of silence? He talked

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Ask me if im a tree Are you a tree no

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Did you hear about the three black guys who got run over by a car? No? Neither did Ray Charles!

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give me a gun or i will shoot you i dont know what with but i will kill you so run run or i will come and get you

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How do you keep the crime rate down in a black neighborhood? Blow everybody up all at one time.

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Yolo Pierre because of Etzio tickle shits faggatron and individual nut join forces to become the shit suckers

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So mind telling me why you wont call me? And why, you know... Are you avoiding this condition of yours?

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What goes in dry and comes out wet Gum

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Where did Tommy go after the bomb went off? Everywhere

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How do you make a boy cry? Pour soup on his head.

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What's sweet and tastes like candy? Candy, now get in the van.

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"Knock knock!" "Who's there?" "Red." "Red who?" "Red any good books lately?" Suddenly, the séance lost credibility.

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How do you confuse a blond? Paint yourself green and throw forks at her.

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(Pretend you're an orphan.) Knock knock. Who's there? Not your parents.

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"Good Morning, I'm Dr. Pepper" "Like the drink?" "Huh... yes... just like the drink" Would you mind to sit right here Mr..... "Nike" "Oh, just like the shoes" "How do you dare!"

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Whats slower than molasses? Slightly thicker molasses.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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