class is canceled. My professor died.

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there once was a frog with no leggs

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People really hate it when sentenses don't end the way elephants wear hats

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the hospital because his wife has multiple STD's

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she was hit by a refrigerator.

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What did the white man say to the muslim? Hi

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How do you confuse a blonde? Explain the concept of time travel.

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A. Where was Sally during the boston marathon bombing? Q. Everywhere. www.facebook.com/wowedgy

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Q: What happened when lost John lost his crack cocaine? A: He bought some weed.

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A: If a quiz is quizzical, what is a test? B: A test can be many things: 1. A procedure for critical evaluation; a means of determining the presence, quality, or truth of something; a trial: a test of one's eyesight; subjecting a hypothesis to a test; a test of an athlete's endurance. 2. A series of questions, problems, or physical responses designed to determine knowledge, intelligence, or ability. 3. A basis for evaluation or judgment: "A test of democratic government is how Congress and the president work together" (Haynes Johnson). 4. Chemistry a. A physical or chemical change by which a substance may be detected or its properties ascertained. b. A reagent used to cause or promote such a change. c. A positive result obtained. 5. A cupel. A: Oh.

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A man walks into a bar The bartender asks: What would you like to drink?

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In what way are a pile of deceased children and a Ferrari F430 similar? Neither can be found in my garage, nor anywhere under my possession. As for the Ferrari, this is an unfortunate truth. Due to Ferraris' high level of desirability, and to their low supply, the cost of one such car is much more than an average person can afford. As for the pile of deceased children, anyone in possesion (for lack of a better term, as one can not truly possess another human being, even post mortem) of such a grotesque thing is probably too sick and twisted to be submitting jokes with no apparent climax in hopes of stimulating the minds of the joke's readers sense of humor.

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Call me Ishmael. Or don't. Well, you can, but I'm not forcing you. You could call me Steve or Bob, it's not really that important. I'm just around here anyway to tell about a huge white dick. A whale dick. A SPERM whale dick. Never mind. Or the guy whose obsessed with it. No, it's not what it sounds like. He just wants to stab it with his harpoon. Wait, that sounds even worse. Whatever. Anyway, call me Ishmael...

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how many flys in a box six --sticksack

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My dad weights 350 lbs. He decided to switch to diet soda.

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Why can't dogs fly? Because they do not have wings.

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What do you call an African-American picking cotton and harvesting wheat. A farmer.

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Q: What did the little jewish boy get for his birthday in 1940? A: The holocaust.

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knock knock who's there Bob oh hi, come in

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What happened to the girl that thought she was a mermaid? She drowned, humans can't breathe under water.

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Iceland is actually green and Greenland is actually icy and Germany started the Holocaust.

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Why did the boy fall? He got tackled by a man that was 400 pounds.

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Immigration Laws

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Hey I've got two stories. This one and the next one.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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