Why was the black kid in the AP Calculus classroom? Because he was a very driven student, who studied hard so that he could attend a good University and build a good life for himself and his family.

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Two hunters are out in the woods, one of them collapses on the ground and his eyes roll back in his head. His friend whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps,"I think my friend is dead, what do i do?" The operator says,"calm down lets first make sure he's dead." There's a silence, then a shot. Sadly the man was not dead but extremely tired and could not carry on without rest.

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What do you call somebody with no arms or legs and they are stranded in the middle of the ocean? Answer: screwed

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Whats better than throwing a baby off a building? Catching it with a pitchfork.

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Whats green? Mountain Dew.

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What did the old Hispanic man say to the young black woman in the Laundromat? I don't know cause I goofed in school and didn't pay attention in spanish class.

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What do you calk a dirty mexican? a hard working gardener.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Robin, get in the Batmobile.

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Roses are gay, Violets are gay, I am gay.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Why didn't the kid eat lunch at school? He wasn't hungry.

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Why did the little kid drop his ice cream? ...... Because he was startled by the pedophiles penis being shoved up his ass.

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Roses are red, violets are blue I've got Alzheimer's cheese on toast

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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How do you stop the London riots? - You employ a a highly effective police tactic to diffuse the crisis as quickly as possible.

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What do you call an elephant mixed with a rhino? A freak.

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Roses are red violets are purple what the hell happened to your ugly face

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What do you call a black guy who works at McDonald's? A worker, you racist piece of shit!

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What could be happier than a fat guy eating 20 pies? The guy he bought it from!

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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Why did the guy fall into the ocean? He was surfing

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There was this girl who suffered for her whole life and then she died. It was very liberating.

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Whats worse than getting an eye gouged out? Getting both eyes gouged out?

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Why are black people so good at basketball? Hard work and dedication

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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