"Do you like pie?" "No." "Do you like blueberries?" "No." "I have something you won't like." "Is it a blueberry pie?" "No, I shagged your wife last night".

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Laughter is the best medicine. No, Heroin is.

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A boy's parents buy him a Wii for Christmas. The boy hangs himself the next day because you need arms to play Wii.

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Why did the student fail his test? He forget to study for it the night before.

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An elephant walked into a pub and ordered a strong Vodka and Coke. "Long day?" asked the barman. "Yeah. Very. So many people stroking my trunk in my apartment - It's meant to be a private place. I'm scared to go back there. One child said they were going to rape me."

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Q: Whats the difference between water melon and a baby? A: Watermelon is a fruit.

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What is worse than torturing, "forcibly penetrate" and then slowly and painfully kill nine billion people? The Holocaust?

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A rabbi and a priest walk into a bar and order two beers

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why did the girl cross the road? no one knows because she was hit with a car and died on impact.

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What's the difference between an iPhone and a Samsung Galaxy? Google it, there are many differences.

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Why is the old lady crying? I threw a fridge at her.

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Knock knock Who's there? Jehovah's Witness

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What's worse than a bee sting? A large number of things ranging from getting stung by two bees to falling off a cliff.

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what did the boy say when his friend was having a panic attack? "don't panic!" rather earnestly in the hope that his friend's breathing returned to normal as panic attacks can be very uncomfortable and place too great a strain upon the cardio and respiratory functions.

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How do you make a blond cry? You punch her in the face.

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A white guy, a black guy, an asian guy, an indian sit together. Canada

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What's the difference between a tree and a lamp? One is a tree, one is a lamp.

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why did little johnny start choking? because somebody shoved a bag down his throat

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Nock Nock Whose there? Your mom. Stop locking your door.

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A black man is trapped inside a bottle, how does he get out? He doesn't it is simply impossible for a human to get trapped inside a bottle.

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What did the irishman say when he walked into a bar? Ouch

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Why did the fat man get thrown out of an all you can eat buffet? He molested a waitress

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Twilight is so bad, I read it and personally didn't like it as a book.

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what happens when you throw a green rock into a yellow pond. it makes a spash.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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