Roses are red, Violets are dead, I've climbed through your window, I'm under your bed.

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what did the apple say to the orange? nothing, stupid, apples can't talk

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Q: Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? A: Because he had bladder control problems and feared he may ruin the first pair.

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Why was Cinderella so bad at ball? Isn't that sexist, making assumptions about Cinderella's sports capability when you have never seen her play sports before (because she is a fictional character) and then asking why this is true when you have no proof that it is in fact true? But I would guess the correct answer is (if she is bad at ball in the first place) that she never played ball before. Think about it. Why did you have to ask this question at all? Isn't it obvious?

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Why did the cook throw up at McDonalds? Because his pay check was made out to the Ronald McDonald Foundation.

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Knock knock Who's there? To To whom? No, its To Who now, since I married

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Is Barack Obama a dentist, a teacher, or the president of the United States? A dentist. He just happens to have the same name as the president.

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how do you save a car from falling out of an airplane? I don't know.

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A jumpercable walks in the bar the bartender says ill get you something but dont start anything.

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What did the prisoner get for Christmas? A lethal injection.

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Q. How many men did it take to build a wall? A. None, the wall is already built.

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Your moms so fat she struggles to to everyday tasks

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Dries Roelvink walks into a bar...

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Why was Luke named Luke Skywalker? Because he walks to skies.

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why was 9 afraid of 6 ? because it made her pregnant

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Why did the boy fall off the purple cliff? Because someone cut of his legs and arms and threw him off.

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How much does a polar bear weigh? Depends on the polar bear and its dietary habits

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what do you call a girl that just took 15 loads to her face? sasha grey.

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The boy said to the priest, may God be with you. The priest responded with, "And also IN you".

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Q. why did the black man cross the road? A. Cause there is no law saying he cant

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Q: What do you get when you have water, sodium C14-16 olefin sulfonate, glycerin, disodium lauroamphodiacetate, polysorbate 20, cocamidopropyl, betaine, PEG-6 Phenoxyethanol, PPG-15 Stearyl, Ether, Citric Acid, isocateth-20, Fragrance, Methylparaben, Tetrasodium EDTA, Xanthan Gum, Propylparben, Ethylparagen, and Camelia Sinensis Leaf Extract? A: All New Clean & Clear Oil Free Make-up Dissolving Foaming Cleanser.

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What's worse than burning your tongue drinking hot chocolate? Being shanked by a homeless man.

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A B C D E F G.... Gummy bears are chasing me 1 is red, 1 is blue 1 is tryin to steal my shoe now i'm running for my life cuase the red 1 has a knife

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whats the difference from a jew and a christian the jew got arrested for rape

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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