What's the difference between a piano and a fish? A piano is an instrument, fish is an animal

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I have a dirty joke. Yesterday I fell in the mud.

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What do you call an African American sitting on a park bench? Elephant-man (I forgot to mention, he has a giant elephant trunk)

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Q:what's faster than a black man with you t.v A:his brother with your laptop

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Whats worse than finding a worm in a apple? Getting raped by a skorpian

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What's brown and smells like shit? My boxers.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Suzie.

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rock crushes scissors, scissors are useless. scissors cut paper, little stips of paper are usless. paper covers rock, structure of rock remains intact.

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Oh NOES! She does worry about me! YOU MUST APOLOGIZE! Relax, the body has two sources of happy drugs, one is the sweet calm stuff I am really bad at, and the other comes with adrenaline and stuff, the name of which I do not remember, both are important, but yeah, I am a thrill seeker, and when I do not find them, I make a thrill out of whatever I got, whatever that means.

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B=boy G=girl B:hey i got a good nock nock joke but you have to start it G:okay nock nock B:whos there?

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A boy spelled the word "banana" wrong on a spelling test... Points were deducted.

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A kid walks into the car and the dad says, "Wear your seatbelt".

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Q: Whats metal and shiny? A: You're lame childhood accomplishments.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I'm really drunk so show me your tits.

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Why was the cookie sad? It had just been eaten and is currently disintegrating in the hydrochloric acid of someones stomach.

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What is black and white and red all over? Interracial sex partners with smallpox.

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Q: What was the name of the armless elf in Snow White? A: Stumpy

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Why did the elderly lady cross the road? Because an atomic bomb was exploding behind her

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A: What did the Orange say to the Mango? B: Sup Hommie?! A: Wtf.... (awkwardly walks away)

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A Johnson walks into a hole. Why am I in this hole? Because rape is not an option.

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Knock knock? Who's There? I AMMM!!! (thumb this down please xD)

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one time at band camp there was a guy guess what he played? no one knows

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What did the elephant say to the naked man? "Cute, cute, but can it pick up peanuts?"

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i am an arrow and i did not hit your knee!f

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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