How do you make a Dead Baby Float..... ......With 3 scoops of ice cream and 1 cup of liquid stem cells.

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Dad: Blind side was the black kid who played tight end. Me: Offensive line. Dad: Sorry, African American kid.

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What's grey and doesn't climb trees? A car park.

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-Have you ever seen an elephant hidden behind a thread? -No. -How come you're seeing it, he's hidden.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was the only way to get across

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David walks into a bar. Someone shoots him. Now hes dead.

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What's worse than failing a school test for Peter? Nothing, because he is asian.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Your landlord your being evicted we need you out in 2 weeks.

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One time, as a dare, John was forced to eat 5 king size chocolate bars, 3 cakes, 8 Oreo Milkshakes, and 7 packages of Krispy Kreme Donuts. As a result, John has diabetes.

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One's fun to smash with a hammer and the other one is a watermelon.

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Whats funnier than a baby in a jar? A baby in ten jars.

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Where did the paralytic go for a vacation? No where he can't move.

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Why does Greg steal? Because he is a thief He is also scouse!

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"Why is Barney purple and green?" "Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way"

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why did nick kiss esther because he cheated

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A Priest and a Rabbi find a very young lost child. They both agree that their religions obligate them to find the child shelter.

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It's okay we all love you, except me, and everyone else.

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Have you seen stevie wonders new piano? No Well it's really nice

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How did the failing slut get an A -she studied really hard

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Two muffins are sitting in a oven, The other muffin says to the other muffin nothing, Because muffins are unable of human conversation.

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Roses are red Violets are blue You're parents are dead All your friends are too

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What do you call a giraffe driving a car? A danger to society.

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Girl 1: I just can't find the man who'll make the perfect husband for me. Girl 2: Maybe you're asking for too much. Girl 1: Yeah, probably.

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what did the cat say to the potato? meow

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops