What do you call a cat with 1 eye, 4 legs, and its tongue out? Road kill.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

what is big white and hurts when it falls on you out of tree? A refrigerator

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's the difference between a bench and a mexican? A bench is an inatimate object that people sit on and a mexican is a person of mexican descent

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Guess what? I like trains.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

You know how they say cats have nine lives? They don't.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

so a man walks into a bar..... and says ouch.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the boy's house get destroyed? It was bombed.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why do women live longer? Once their sexual and metabolistic hormones are moleculy different from men's, their metabolism is different and act on different organs and vice-versa. Therefore, they live longer. Still, in a worldwide average, more men born than women.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

there were two cyclists cycling down a main road in china at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace, one being chinese and the other irish. why did the irish man get stopped and the chinese man not? because the irish man had in fact raped and murdered a young child in his native home town and then fled the country to china.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q: Why does Billy get bullied at school? A: Because he has Down's Syndrome

thumb_up thumb_down +6

You- I came up with a new word! Friend- What is it? You- Plagiarism.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What kind of Juice do White supremacists Hate the most? Minute Maid.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How many Alzheimer patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed. I will also remove you from my friends list on Facebook because stealing isn't nice.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A black man wearing a belt. Oh, he has a shoelace!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did Hitler kill himself? He realized what he'd gotten himself into and became severely depressed

thumb_up thumb_down +6

why did the man sell the car and bought worse one? it' s his hoby to restore cars

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Whats green has 4 legs and would kill someone if it fell out of a tree??? A pool table.....

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A man walks in to a bar with a frog stapled to his head. The bar tender says What the heck is that. The frog says I don't know this thing has been coming out of my but for two days

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do you call a guy with an axe in his head? Chuck

thumb_up thumb_down +6

I like that, yet I wonder if our subconscious knows what it is what we seek, maybe we need to tell ourselves that we will find happiness, and then the mind leads us there.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do you call a Mexican that crossed the border. An Illegal Immigrant.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the one Brick say to the other Brick? We have the same name.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Fun Fact: If you lay out all of the veins in your body out, You will die

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops