Why can't the blonde dial 911? The battery on her phone is dead and she needs to recharge it. (Good thing there's no emergency.)

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What do you call a penguin sliding down a hill how should i know.

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whats funny about four dead horses in a park ? the horses are dead!

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why is lady gaga so famous? because she has a penis.

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A guy walks up to his boy and tells him, "Hey, if you don't stop masturbating you'll go blind." The boy says, "Who are you? Your not my father."

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why was the tricycle lonely? the mom back over the kid in the driveway.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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Who would win if Chuck Norris and God fought to the death? None they are both fictional.

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What is sad and disappointing? Nevada's and California's snow pack.

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A nun walks into a bar. She is immediately excommunicated.

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What do you hear when the world trade center collapsed?, no seriously I wasn't even three yet.

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did Michael Jackson touch children ? yes of course. otherwise he would have been an absolutely terrible father

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How do you confuse an English Professor? Light your pants on fire and flop around like a fish.

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Why aren't there Olympics in Mexico? Idk Because everyone that can run jump or swim are already across the boarder.

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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yo mama so dumb... because she was not properly educated

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Why did the clown's ballon animal pop? He was a victim in a drive by shooting.

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Q. How many blondes does it take to put in a lightbulb? A. Cause of 7,8,9!

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What did the Apple Tree say to the Oak Tree? Nothing.

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I don't understand what's so bad about a worm in your apple. Just get the proper software to clean it up, or even better, get a PC

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What do you call 50 jewish, homeless men peeing into a river? Pollution.

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i saw amango it splootered

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What do you call a woman with one leg shorter than the other? Whatever her name is.

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What do you call a person driving a plane? Not a pilot, they fly planes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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