A man finds a lamp and rubs it and a genie pops out and says he'll grant him 3 wishes. The man says "I wish I had a trillion dollars for which I can buy whatever my heart desires" and poof he gets it. The man says "I wish I had a beautiful wife for which I can love forever till the end of time." and poof he gets it. Finally, his 3rd wish he says "I wish I have my own country for which I can rule as king and become the greatest ruler in history." and poof he gets it.

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My grandpa died in the holocaust. How? He had gas.

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Q. What did the chicken say to the buffalo? A. Nothing, this is an improbable predicament.

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Why does everybody look at the foreign boy strangely? Because he was ugly

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What would a gay, transgender, mexican man say to another? We could have butt sex.

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Why did moral man lose his superpowers? Because he read the pointless superpowers section and realized its pointless... Moral: yeah this is my power... :(

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? Someone said "catch" and threw a bowling ball at him.

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How did the man break his arm raking leaves? He fell out of the tree.

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Whats worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings. Whats worse then two bee stings? The holocaust. Whats worse then the holocaust? Three bee stings.

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what did nena say in the library while her and her friends were on anti-jokes? I don't know. I wasn't there.

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A priest, a minister and a rabbi walk into a bar and the bartender says: "Where would you like to sit, gentlemen"?

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Whats the difference between a Jew and a Pig? One makes bacon when smoked.

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knock knock. who's there? doctor. doctor who? doctor: you have cancer.

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what smells like red paint, looks like red paint and is called red paint? A pear, i lied about everything i just said

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What is the funniest shirt Emil heskey has ever worn? A shirt that had this joke on it

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What does a weasel and a naked college girl have in common? No clothes

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Yo mama so fat, her Patronus is a cake.

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(Mortal Kombat Annihilation) Princess Kitana: "Mother, you're alive" Sindel: "Too bad you, will die" (Troll 2) "They're eating her. And then they're gonna me. Oh my gawwwwwwwwd." (The Room) Johnny: I did not hit her, it's not true! It's bullshitt! I did not hit her! [throws water bottle] Johnny: I did *not*. Oh hi, Mark. Mark: Oh, hey Johnny, what's up?

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Q: How are a plum and a rabbit alike? A: They're both purple, except for the rabbit.

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What's black and sits at the top of the stair case? Stephen hawking in a house fire.......

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How did the chicken get to the other side? He crossed the road.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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Why couldnt hellen keller drive because she was a women

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What did the black man buy at the store? Nothing he has no money

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops