knock knock who's there? nobody. then why are you knocking?

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Why was the 18 year boy afraid of his dad? Cause his dad butt raped him when he was 7.

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Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because no one can draw a perfect circle.

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"Doctor, I seem to have a large horn-like growth protruding from my nose". "Well, yes, that is because you are a rhinoceros".

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so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane act

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Q: What did the little jewish boy get for his birthday in 1940? A: The holocaust.

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What do Barbra Streisand and Danny Glover have in common? Nothing.

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Q:What's similar between a squirel and a eagle? A:Both have wings, exept for the squirrel.

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how do you get a clown to fall off a swing? hit him with an ax

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Why did Johnny play piano with one hand? Because he lost his other one in a mining accident when he was 10. Johnny lives in rural Perú so he had to support his 6 younger brothers and sisters by working in a child factory.

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, "I forgot to store acorns for winter and now I am dead." It is funny because the squirrel gets dead.

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What do you call a blonde falling off a cliff? Screwed.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was a turkey, idiot.

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Two blondes walks into a tavern, which is kind of funny, since the second one should have seen it.

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Why couldn't the boy see the pirate movie? Because it was sold out

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What did the disrespectful cow say to his parents? Mooo. I hate you both

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she was hit by a refrigerator.

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What do a Mexican and a elephant have in common? Aside from the fact they're both alive beings, they share the same kingdom, phylum, class and the fact of both being alive beings, each other are in constant contact with the environment, they both share affectionate ties with partners of their species, being them from the same family, breeding partner ou even just alive beings of the same especies of each one.

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What did the man do when his truck was stolen? He contacted the police, who immediately began searching for the culprit. He then contacted his car insurance company and was soon compensated for the full value of his truck. One day the man was in his new truck listening to the local news and heard that the thief was found and convicted of Grand Theft Auto; his name was Martin Kaiser.

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I once saw a small Italian man wearing trainers with a smart suit. He looked like an idiot, but I considered the option that he may not have had any money left after buying the suit to buy shoes. Exercising diplomacy, I left him be and enjoyed a nice meal with he and his trainers.

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What's the difference between ten dead babies and a Ferrari? There's no Ferrari in my garage.

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What's big, black, and just knocked an 8 year old girl off of her bike? The refrigerator I just threw at her. (not all are white you know)

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How did Richard the lion heart get his name? From his parents.

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if your having girl problems i feel bad for you son, i don't have any.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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