A guy walks up to his boy and tells him, "Hey, if you don't stop masturbating you'll go blind." The boy says, "Who are you? Your not my father."

thumb_up thumb_down -3

why is lady gaga so famous? because she has a penis.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Waseem is such a hard worker on Anti Joke all day.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why can't the blonde dial 911? The battery on her phone is dead and she needs to recharge it. (Good thing there's no emergency.)

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What did the boy with cancer, no arms, and no legs get for his birthday? Nothing he was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What do you call a penguin sliding down a hill how should i know.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What do you hear when the world trade center collapsed?, no seriously I wasn't even three yet.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the Taxi crash? The cab driver was trying to remove the frog stapled to his face.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

I hate weddings! Old people always poke u and say "ur next" so I've decided to do the same to them... At Funerals

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A nun walks into a bar. She is immediately excommunicated.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Who would win if Chuck Norris and God fought to the death? None they are both fictional.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How do you confuse an English Professor? Light your pants on fire and flop around like a fish.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

I'm a burrito... With a big shirt.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

I don't understand what's so bad about a worm in your apple. Just get the proper software to clean it up, or even better, get a PC

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the magician die when he tried to escape from the handcuffs underwater? Because he drowned and failed his magic trick.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Duck: got any grapes? Lemonade Seller: no the duck waddeld away and never came back for the guy has no grapes

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why was the house on fire? A dog peed on it.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

yo mama so dumb... because she was not properly educated

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the clown's ballon animal pop? He was a victim in a drive by shooting.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Q. How many blondes does it take to put in a lightbulb? A. Cause of 7,8,9!

thumb_up thumb_down -5

did Michael Jackson touch children ? yes of course. otherwise he would have been an absolutely terrible father

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What happened to the chicken that crossed the road. It got hit by a fridge.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops