Man goes to the doctors, says doctor, im depressed. ive tried everything but i just cant see the bright side of life anymore, it seems empty to me, like theres no point in existing. The doctor certifies the man as clinically depressed and alerts the relevant authorities.

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KONY 2012! *world rises up cheering in spontaneous patriotism for Africa* Leader of KONY 2012 arrested for public masturbation

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Yo momma so stupid, she had you.

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why were the negros at whitney houstons funeral smiling? because there were free sandwiches!

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what can keep u alive for many years- -not being shot

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What smells like bananas but is invisible? Monkey farts

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because chad makes babies cry.

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How do you stop a black person from drowning?.. Take your foot off his head

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They beat her mercilessly.

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What do you call a man with no eyes? A hero for going to war and surviving being tortured by the Vietnamese.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was being chased by a pack of wolverines and decided the best idea was to run away, and this decision just happened to involve him crossing a road.

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What do you call Jack Black on a bad day? Kevin Hart.

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Knock, knock who's there? Not your Dad, because he left and created a better family.

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Waseem is such a hard worker on Anti Joke all day.

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Where did Adolf go as a vacation after the war? Hell

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i wonder who made this website? a human

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why was the pineapple bullied at school? cuz it was a pineapple duhhhhhhh

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Why did two rhinos engage in vigorous sex? They were horny.

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Hey Skrillex! Can you do me a favor and hold this bass for me? Sure thing, no problem. 3 seconds later... Oops! My bad! I just dropped it.

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“When life gives you lemons, don’t make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don’t want your damn lemons, what the hell am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life’s manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I’m the man who’s gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! I’m gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!”

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How did the hairless cat braid its hair? It didn't, it was hairless. Also, cats do not have opposable thumbs.

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Why dont you greet your friend Jack on a plane? because you will say "hi Jack"

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If I was in a room with hitler Osama bin laden and Justin bieber and a gun with 2 bullets. I would shoot Justin bieber twice

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Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the bird.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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