What's worse then having gum stuck on the bottom of your shoe? Having a stick poked in your eye. What's worse then having a stick poked in your eye? Having a nail go through your foot. What's worse then having a nail go through your foot? Having a stick poked in your eye and a nail going through your foot.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

what is black and white and read all over? a bankrupt newspaper that cannot afford color ink because the accountant misplaced company funds.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Two fuses wearing bombs for hats were sitting on a bench with their frayed feet dangling on the ground. A match was walking along and tripped, hitting it's head on the ground and bursting into flame. Luckily the fuses had finished lunch by that time and gone back to work. Unluckily for the match it died from burns to 80 percent of it's body.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

How many Druggies does it take to make toast. One.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What does AIDS smell like? AIDS has no smell. AIDS is a diease contracted though sexual contact with another being with the diease. It greatly increases the risk of infections and malignancy. Although AIDS has no smell, in the final stages large sores develope on the surface of the skin. This means you are going to die. Thus, HIV/AIDS has no smell.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Person 1 Hey man what's up Person 2 nothing much I just impregnated your mom

thumb_up thumb_down +29

c======3

thumb_up thumb_down +29

How many Jews can fit in a Volkswagen beetle? Four, although five is possible if you are not afraid of getting a ticket.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Matt Gregory Harrington is a bender, pylon, hoser, duster tripod, and puck bunny!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What is the difference between a black person and an elevator? Well, there are many differences such as the fact that an elevator has a series of wiring and mechanics, while a black man, and white men alike, are human beings.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

-It ain't over till the fat lady sings -she just did -oh, I guess it's over then -k

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Knock Knock Who's There? Jehovah's Witness

thumb_up thumb_down +25

How many babies does it take to paint a wall? depends on how hard you throw them

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Roses are red, Violets are blue, You just died, and I'm laughing at you and your extremely ugly face.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Q: Where does the queen of england live? A: This was the question I had to anwser to be able to post this joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A man is boarding a plane. The attendant asks if he has a passport. The man says no, and leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

what's worse than finding a worm in your apple? finding two worms in your apple

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Q: How many Babies does it take to paint a garage? A: babies do not have good motor skills therefore, they can not hold a paint brush.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Robin, get in the Batmobile.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

There once was a man from Nantucket. He was a well respected member of the community.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Q:Whats big, red and eats rocks? A: A big red rock eater

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Q:whats the wost thing that can happen to you when you find something? A:not finding something

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Q: There is an Elf King, King Kong, and Godzilla all on the empire state building. Which one jumps first? A: None, because none of them exist.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Confucius says... The superior man, when resting in safety, does not forget that danger may come. When in a state of security he does not forget the possibility of ruin. When all is orderly, he does not forget that disorder may come. Thus his person is not endangered, and his States and all their clans are preserved.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops