Hey babe, did it hurt when the doctor cut off your umbilical cord when your mother gave birth to you. Because I have a bellybutton too!

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Whats worse than a baby stapled to a tree? Holocaust

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A thought for the day: Life is like a game of chess. In the constant struggle for power, control and safe positions it makes no difference whether one plays white or black. As long as everything is planned and one stays a few moves ahead, everything will work out. Just don't annoy the queen, or she may send some very irate knights to fork you or a bishop to flank you. [L]

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Q:Why did Sara fall off the swing? A: Because she has no arms. ..... Knock knock! who's there? Not Sara, she has no arms and doesn't have the abitlity to knock.

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Q: Why are black people so tall? A: Not all black people are tall, and if they are it is probably from their specific genes.

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Bob: Do you know the difference between beer and women? John: No Bob: Oh

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Nothing.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a screaming goat

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Q: What do you call an Ethiopian on a food strike? A: An Ethiopian

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I like my women like i like my coffee... with big titis

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What is a light shade of beige? My bedroom wall.

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Why did the boy have to ride the bus? Because both his parents died.

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Why do elephant tusks stick out? For uprooting trees and bushes, and for defending their young.

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Three old ladies were sitting on a bench. A man walks up and flashes them. The first old lady had a stroke. The second old lady had a stroke. The third old lady called 911 out of concern for her two friends.

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A Quadriplegic walks into a bar.

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How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a lightbulb? It varies. Alzheimer's is a very slow progressing disease, and many people suffering from it are capable of a wide variety of a number of everyday activities.

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Q: why didn't the asian boy ask for a calculator? A: you don't need calculators to make shoes

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Knock Knock Who's There Lettuce Lettuce who? Lettuce down the street building his new garage

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What do you say when you see a black guy? Hello,how are you today?

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What did T Pain say to the skipper of his yacht? I'm on a yacht

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What is a black guys favourite thing to eat? Food.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was involved in a homicide at the Children's Hospital resulting in death row right away and was involved in the killing of 12 other numbers on last Tuesday.

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Why can't Hellen Keller have kids? Because she's dead, therefore does not possess the ability to bear children.

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A man walks into a bar and is slowly tearing his life apart. maybe because he is drinking poisonous acid instead of beer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops