Why isn't Billy Mays on TV anymore? Beacause Billy Mays was in a tradgic accident where a bowling ball fell on his head, and a couple days later he died of head trama. His family can't bear to hear his voice anymore.

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How do spell____? awk moment when u try asking someone how to spell something over text but they have no idea what ur saying

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Life is confusing. Really how so? He just walked up to me five minutes ago with a pair of socks taped on both sides of his face saying humanity is screwed and ran off after peeing on my carpet.

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Koolaid is red, Poweraid is blue, Gatorade is yellow, My urine is brown... looks like i have a bladder infection.

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A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

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Why does Chuck Norris always know the time? He bought a fancy new watch.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The bailiffs, we have come to take your house

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What are you getting for Christmas? Wasted.

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Two muffins are in an oven. They say absolutely nothing because they're muffins and not sentient.

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What should you do if you have a 10 inch penis? Subtly tell the world via an anti-joke

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What does a black kid get for Christmas? Your bike

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Listen, it's a free country.

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Stacey has no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Stacey.

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What's worse than a crying baby on a trans-Atlantic flight? A hungry lion on a trans-Atlantic flight.

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Q: What did osama bin laden say to the worker behind the gas station counter? A: May I buy this bag of chips?

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How do you make a lumberjack cry? Kill his family

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was trying to commit suicide through vehicular manslaughter and knew that the average human being would not be able to stop before it was too late.

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Who created Apple? Steve jobs.

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A working black man, Santa, and the Easter Bunny where walking down the street and find a penny, who picks it up? The working black man, Santa and the Easter Bunny take no payment for their work.

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What does a weasel and a naked college girl have in common? No clothes

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A man walks inta pet store looking for a dog. All he finds are cats.What did he end up buying. A weasel

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Roses are red and so is venus now kneel down and suck my penis:)

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I dont really care anymore BECAUSE I'M SICK AND TIRED OF THIS CLICHE!

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When life gives you lemons, take them. Free stuff is cool.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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