- Anti Joke

Why didn't Johnny ride his bike to school? Both of his legs were amputated. He can't ride a bike ever again.

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven's dad owned a shot gun.

-How do you kill a douche? -You stab him untill he cries out in mercy and stops moving.

Your mom is so old she is significantly more identifiable in a crowd of middle-aged men and women.

Your momma's so obnoxious, your dad left.

What did the alchoholic get for his birthday? Nothing. His alchohol abuse split up is family and now he is alone.

why cant the porcupine marry the balloon? ...neither one can talk.. obviously.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, MAKE ME EAT LEMONS, I ATE U!

What do you call a man with no arms or legs? Unfortunate

Who's gay? Justin Beaver

Your mama's so fat.... Her cerial bowl came with a lifeguard

an old lady walked into a bar, used the bathroom and left. THE END

A man works at a Doritos factory hes worked there for a few weeks and hes made the most Doritos in his line now and the head of the company gives him a promotion he now runs his own line a few months later the head of the company bob comes back to him and promoted him again to now our friend Carl is head of the Factory about two years later bob comes to Carl and hes promoted to head of the east coast he is head of 27 Factories about a decade later bob asks Carl if when he retires Carl will take over the company and he accepts bobs offer 23 years pass and bob retires Carl is the new head of the company so he is about like 65 at this point and he wants some wine so him and his buddies go for some wine Dan says Carl this lines two long so they decide to have some soda and then Jason says this lines longer then the last one so Aiden says to Carl why don't we go get some punch so they all got into line but there was no punch line a.w. j.p.

What do the holocaust and new born babies have in common? Nothing. Except some babies are born in Germany.

A guy walked into a bar a hundred years ago and but a pint of whiskey. He is dead now.?

Roses are red Violets are blue I love you so much That is a an example of the 2nd person and the identification of plants and their colors

So a priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. They order some wine and have an enjoyable evening.

Q.If your have $6.00 and I have a hair cut, how many donkeys are in the paddock? A. Aliens with a hat????????????

What is black, white, and red all over? The Wall

What is the worst joke to tell a Orphan? Knock Knock Who's there Not your parents ( Man than slams door in little girls face)

Golf.

A little girl meets a homeless guy named Ian McDermott in downtown Atlanta She then screams stranger danger and a nearby policeman comes and arrests the man.

Knock knock Who’s there? The police, your family was killed in a horrific car crash on highway 22 this morning at 10:15 after they collided head on with a truck. They died instantly if it is any conciliation. We will contact you further into our investigation. Dave then poured himself a whiskey and thought about all the good times he and his family shared, teaching Jessica to ride a bike, his and Kate’s honeymoon in Honolulu, playing catch with Jacob. That’s when the full extremity of the situation hit Dave causing him to break into tears he sat and cried for three hours and fifteen minutes. Once he had gotten that out of his system he decided to visit his mother and tell her the horrible news. Knock Knock Who’s there? Dave Dave who? Again Dave breaks into tears as his grandmothers althsiemers has progressed to the point where she can no longer remember her sons name. Feeling shattered he decides not to go through the process of explaining who he is and decides to head to the local pub to drown his sorrows. Bartender: hard day? Dave: my wife and two beautiful children were mauled in a head on collision with a truck and my mother can’t remember who I am. Bartender: yeah sure but was it a hard day? Dumbstruck with this ridiculous remark Dave pauses for a moment. The bar is silent only the sounds of bottles clinking and feet tapping on bar stools can be heard. Cigarette smoke hangs in the air. Dave stares at the bartender momentarily then throws his bottle at him send him off balance Dave then grabs the shot gun he knows the bartender keeps behind the counter and shoots the bartender at point blank range. Some customers run scared witless other try to control Dave but only end up in the same position as the bartender. Dave is left standing in a pool of blood. The smell of death hangs in the air with the cigarette smoke. Feeling slightly better Dave heads home and kills himself. Dave was an excellent plumber we will miss him.

How many lesbians did Tiger Woods bang? None, his standards are much higher than that

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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