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What's black, white, and red all over?? A penguin that just got hit by a truck and is now struggling to live.

When you aren't feeling well, you should see a doctor like this: https://encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcS5u4lryU5PzmLUKCGEKZgDWMeQ_96VLEKFGu7Wvk-4M7UXHkOXBw

Q: why did the dog fall down the stairs? A: Because I pushed him down.

A Sodium atom walks into a bar. A Chlorine atom bumps into it, taking the electron, then making a bond. Suddenly, the police come in. They arrest the Chlorine atom, of course, but they also arrest the Sodium atom. He says, "what did I do?" The policemen say, "you're too ugly to be out in public."

What's green, has six legs and lives in the jungle? A Snooker Table.

A duck walks into a bar. The bartender says what will it be? The duck replies "lemonade!"

What color is Michael Jackson? Pale because he's dead.

Q: Why did the chicken cross the street? A: Because that was the direction it was headed.

Why do dinosaurs have no friends? Because they are all dead

What did the coat say to the dog? Nothing, the coat was inanimate

Knock knock Who's there Joe Aids who's?

why did the fat woman die? ... because she tried to commit suicide and the ceiling collapsed on her.

The funniest thing happened in my dream last night, i dreamed that banks would stop ripping people off and start treating people like humans. How wierd is that :D

Roses are red Violets are blue I tryed to hang myself But my neck qad to fat

hows your wife she died 7 years ago really mine too

why did the 42 inch plasma screen blow-up 6 hours before the england match ? because it knows .

Going up to someone and saying, "my mom is dead and my dad tryd killing himself, can i have a ride home?"

A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

Q: What do you call cheese that isn't yours? A: Cheese.

The last head of Satan, is oh but what you blamed upon Your faults, Your sins. The thoughts of Madness written here, yet potent enough to cloud Your thoughts.... Wait not forever children of man, as eternity is at its peak, the false prophet IS AMONGST US! But what side is he on? The last ditch attempt to protect humanity from a raging jealous vengeful God? Say it is not so! Say that darkness is not the only thing standing against you and eternal damnation... ...Yet you killed his only true child, you stole his name, his essence... Even his Identity... ...Even the Angels white are powerless to stop him, Your maker, Your true maker, for what is the grief of the holy, from which you took his only son... ...As you celebrate once and once anew... :...Merry CHRISTmas, to all of those of you all now left behind... Celebrate it well, as before the world reaches 2017, is where it all ends...

My grandfather died in a concentration camp. He fell off a guard tower and broke his neck.

Have you heard of the Armenian genocide? No? Me neither.

Whats worse than stubbing your toe? The Holocaust.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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