How do you stop a plane? Land it.

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a man touches girls butt ...... she sharts her pants

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'l give you a nickle to tickle my pickle i'l give you a dime to take you time

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was black.

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Q:How do you get better at boxing? A:Get a bigger package Daniel W. Schnurr

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eyebrows up means ur flirting this isnt a joke dont laugh

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men, men like men= men+bed

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Why did the baby duck cry? Because his family just got ran over by a truck

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Your mothers so stupid she is retaking her college courses so she can get a better job and support her family.

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One day, 2 people were gonna fight after school and then the final bell rung. The fight began and the challenger says, "Hey whats the one thing you say when you don't want to fight anymore and you let the other person win?" The other guy says to the challanger, "I give up?" Then the challenger yells. "I WIN!"

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Why did the man go to Lourdes Because he has lost all hope

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What did the raped girl get for Christmas? Pregnant.

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who is gay wit mon james cornish

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What did the man get from killing his own wife and children? A boner.

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A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender can you throw me a beer and the bartender says yes and he throws him the beer and the man says I can't catch I have the smallest hands in the world and the bartender says go across the street there is a guineas book of world record store an check if you h e the smallest hands and he does so the next day he goes back and asks for another beer and the bartender throws him a beer and say I cant catch cause I have the smallest feet in the world and he goes across the street and checks and he does and then the third day he goes back to the bar and asks for a beer and the bartendor throws him another beer and says I can't catch I have the smallest penis in the world so he goes to the guiness book o world record store and then goes bac to the bar and asks..... Who's austin bell?????

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My life has been getting worse and worse since I developed cancer.

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Did you hear about the kid from Texas? He shot his campus up.

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Why does tundes food suck? Because he is from Africa and the cuisine is different

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Your momma is so fat, shes skinny.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get surgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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What do you call a straight A student that takes 6 Vicodin's, 5 Percocet's, and 7 Adderalls? I don't know, but he will most likely die of drug overdose.

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Why do giraffes have long necks? To connect their bodies to their heads.

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Why did Sara fall off the swing? Sara had no arms! Knock knock? Who's there? Not Sara!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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