A man asks his wife to make him a sandwich, she proceeds to make a sandwich using rye bread, lettuce, two slices of tomatoes, a variety condiments, mustard and several slices of American cheese. The man eats the sandwich at a parade with his wife celebrating Woman's Rights.

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Why didn't Joey play with the other kids on the playground? Answer: He was dead

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Roses are red Violets are purple. I just realized that nothing rhymes with "Purple".

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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"bus driver pressed the horn at my mum and she stuck a finger up at him " Not the first time she's got the horn and shoved a finger up

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Whats black and flys out of a car? Pupies stuffed in a bag.

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What did the cricket say to the fox? Cricket.

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Why did the pelican cross the road? The man did not reply because his mother recently died in a car accident while crossing the road. She also loved pelicans.

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Is this your pen? I wanna go to school, bye!

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What did the Insomniac, Dyslexic Priest do? He stayed up all night wondering if there really is a Dog.

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A man walks into a bar, orders a drink, drinks it, and leaves.

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What's worse than one bee sting? 2 bee stings. What's worse than 2 bee stings? The holocaust. What's worse than the holocaust? 3 bee stings.

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What did Rihanna remember when she corrected Chris Browns tweets she can't remember last thing she saw was a fist

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What is worse than getting hit by a car? Getting hit by a truck

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

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What did the alcoholic tell his son? Don't do meth.

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Why did Lucy have blond hair? Answer: Because both her parents had recessive hair traits.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To buy more crystal meth to fuel his addiction while his wife and children starved in the public houses.

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Why was the house on fire? A dog peed on it.

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whats the difference between a can and a fish?they can both swim. exept for the can.

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Why did the mans nuts itch he had crabs

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A man and a woman walk into a bar... They both die from cerebral hemorrhages.

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what did the murderer say when he lost his gun? dangit. now i cant kill anyone

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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