Why couldn't the melons get married? As gay cantaloupes, their jurisdiction didn't allow for same-sex marriage.

thumb_up thumb_down

What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas many gift card to stores he liked

thumb_up thumb_down

How do you confuse an English Professor? Light your pants on fire and flop around like a fish.

thumb_up thumb_down

What did one jew say to the other jew? Want some pizza?

thumb_up thumb_down

Why cant Helen Keller drive a bus? Cuz she's dead!

thumb_up thumb_down

Yo momma is so fat that she is in the guinness records

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the water in the lake disappear? There was a toilet at the bottom.

thumb_up thumb_down

What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

thumb_up thumb_down

Q: How many times did the chicken cross the road? A: One and a half.

thumb_up thumb_down

Q: What's the difference between a trampoline and a baby? A: I take off my shoes when I jump on a trampoline.

thumb_up thumb_down

Q: What has four eyes but can't see? A: A blind guy with glasses

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the old man lose his cane? He didnt. He had alzheimers

thumb_up thumb_down

What's the difference between jumping off of a 2 story building and a 20 story building? You're more likely to die from the latter.

thumb_up thumb_down

whats the difference between marmalade and jam? you cant marmalade ur cock up a girls arse

thumb_up thumb_down

What's worse than finding a dead baby in a dumpster? Recognizing the baby as your missing child, and finding the corpse of your dead wife next to it.

thumb_up thumb_down

A man walks into the office for an appointment. The doctor performs the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he feels the man's testicles to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies, "You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

thumb_up thumb_down

knock knock who's there? Jehovah's witness GOOD BYE!

thumb_up thumb_down

Think of a number 1-10 Now add 39 Divide that by 20 Subtract two Now close your eyes.. Dark isn't it?

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Before Marriage: Boy: Ah at last. I can hardly wait. Girl: Do you want me to leave? Boy: No don't even think about it. Girl: Do you love me? Boy: Of Course. Always have and always will. Girl: Have you ever cheated on me? Boy: Never. Why are you even asking? Girl: Will you kiss me? Boy: Every chance I get. Girl: Will you hit me? Boy: Hell no. Are you crazy? Girl: Can I trust you? Boy: Yes. Girl: Darling! After Marriage: (Read from bottom to top)

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did the cow say to the other cow? Moo.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A dyslexic walks into church and asks the priest. "Father is there a dog."

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Whats the difference........ Between a duck?

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What would you call a two-foot Irishman named Max? Max.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Q: What's worse than tripping down the stairs in front of a crowd of people? A: The bombing of Hiroshima

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops