What did the Farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where's my Tractor?"

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Why did the elephant get on the roof? To jump in the pool.

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What do you call a penguin sliding down a hill how should i know.

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A man walks into a bar, orders a drink, drinks it, and leaves.

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What is the first letter of the alphabet? A. a B. 7 C. Mustard gas D. Because a penguin has 2 legs

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A blond, brunette, and a red head are stranded on an island. They find a genie, who tells them each one can have one wish. They all wish for the same thing, to be back home with their families.

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Why did Jim go to the hospital? To get an autopsy.

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roses are blue violets are red crap i screwed up dont judge me

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Why did seven eat nine? Because six was afraid of him.

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Japan

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Q:Why is rugby one of the safest sports to play? A: It isn't , it is in fact very dangerous.

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Why did the chicken get hit by a bus? He tried to cross the road.

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Q:How can you tell an asian has just robbed your home? A: You took the necessary precautions to purchase a very high quality security system and you caught the whole thing on tape, and the man was arrested.

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How do you make an egg laugh? That is an irrational question eggs are inanimate object and are unable to laugh

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What is sad and disappointing? Nevada's and California's snow pack.

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How do you confuse your algebra teacher? Tell her to prove that she exists.

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Want to hear a dirty joke? A pig fell in the mud…

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Three children had stumbled upon a magic slide. There was a sign on the slide stating that what ever they shouted, they would land in a pool of it at the bottom of the slide. So the first child began sliding and shouted out "JELLY" and sure enough he landed in a large pool of jelly when he reached the bottom of the slide. The next child, so excited to go down the slide began sliding down. She shouted out "LOLLIES" and sure enough she landed in a large pool of sweets and chocolates at the bottom of the slide. Finally, the youngest girl in the group mounted the slide. As she was going down she was enjoying the slide so much that she shouted "POOS POOS" forgetting the rule of the magic slide and finally landing in a large pool of excrement.

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What did the man with candy say to the little boy? I have Candy.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato.

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Ask me if I am a tree. "Are you a tree?" No.

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Is this the Krusty Krab? Yes.

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What do you hear when the world trade center collapsed?, no seriously I wasn't even three yet.

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Why can't the blonde dial 911? The battery on her phone is dead and she needs to recharge it. (Good thing there's no emergency.)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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