a guy walks into a bar.. ouch

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Knock knock Who's there Joe Aids who's?

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Roses are red violets are blue. I'm falling in love with you.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What happened when the black man tried to cross the road Nothin. He tripped on a bug trying to get on the edge

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was Tuesday, Popeyes has a special sale buy one get one free fried chicken. The chicken was like "Oh hell no, today's Tuesday? I'm funna get my feathery-asss out of here.." However, chickens do not know what day it is, nor do they care about being captured by humans. I also made up the part when the chicken began talking.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Did you here about the 2 guys who wanted to go to Paris? They didnt go!

thumb_up thumb_down -16

I am fine, hungry but otherwise fine, I sometimes wish that things that come easy to you, did the same for me or others, excuse me, going to grab a bite, I hope we can chat here for a bit, it is not a chatting site the least. Say? Are you still burning mad at me? If not ill gladly give you a call, but if this is a ploy you are scheming in order to gain my trust I might be killing myself.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because there were 5 brothers chasing it with a bat.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a ferrari? I don't have a ferrari in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the Jew pick up the dollar on the side of the road? Because he dropped it.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Hi I'm makena. I'm a cynical asshole

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Roses are red Violets are violet the last time i saw this poem i couldn't rhyme no more

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why didn't the boy want to go to school? Because it was 3am.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Roses are Red Violets are Blue Even though I can't tell Because I am color blind

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What sound did the Moon Man say to the Moon Woman? Nothing, there isn't an atmosphere so sound cannot travel.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

why was the man denied his teaching job? because he is a wanted cerial killer in 43 states.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

whats worse than unloading a truck of dead babies with pitch forks? Finding one alive

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 8 9!

thumb_up thumb_down -24

what kind of road kill is green and smells like cookies?

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Your momma's so stupid, she has a lower than average IQ!

thumb_up thumb_down -26

dont be races! be like mario he is a italian plumer , he works for a white princess , catches coins like a jewish guy and he jumps like a black guy.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

So a bar walks into a man...

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Yeah, "master hypnotists" (and do not even get me started on hypnotherapists, they completely suck!) keep claiming that you need to keep up to date with the "constantly developing art of hypnosis" The thing is though, that hypnosis does not develop itself, people develop it further, and when the key ingredient is actually believing things under a certain state, you can do anything, even slow the passage of time to a halt. Once I tried that, I was disappointed when I figured out that it did not work, so I went shopping (for groceries), then realized that no time had passed at all, sounds like bullshit, and yeah I wont be trying that again anytime soon, lucid dreaming is good enough, you can spend hours and hours in a lucid dream state, days, and then wake up and figure out you slept like two hours or something.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops