roses are red, violets are blue, i have alzheimers, cheese on toast.

what did the jew say to the other jew in WWII?..... "We're both going to die."

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

Harry thrust his wand forward, "Expelliarmus!" Voldemort casually ducks, and fires a killing curse at our hero.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because a tree fell on her. Knock Knock Who's There? Not Sally...

A plane filled with English tourists is on it's way from Holland to Spain. It crashes in France. Where are the surviors buried? Survivors aren't buried.

Q: How do you make scrach paper? A: Take a paper and scrach it.

A: what did one apple say to the other apple. B: Nothing apples cant talk

What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick

whats worse than loseing your dog? getting raped by a clown.

Knock knock. Who's there? The police, you murdered ten people.

Why didn't Jimmy ever get his butt of the couch? His butt was nailed to it and he was also dead. Why didn't his parents save him? they died before he did.

Why do new moms put "BABY ON BOARD" stickers on the backs of their cars? No reason. Hitting someone's car baby inside or not is against the law and very dangerous for passengers of any age.

Ask me any question. Okay, what is your favorite color? I refuse to answer.

“DTF”? Says Will. “No” says Harper.

What is black and goes blub-blub? A black blub-blub. Good job. What is red and goes blub-blub? There is no such thing as a red blub-blub, you idiot.

why did the guy round second base? to get to 3rd

a dad farts in the woods nothing else happens

how do you call a big red creature eating rocks? the big red rock eating creature.

Jack be nimble, Jack be quick, Jack has a crippling addiction to Cocaine which ultimately led to his divorce and the subsequent loss of custody of his children.

What is yellow and dangerous? Shark infested butter

What can be smooth but also rough? Endoplasmic Reticulum

What do you call a broken boomarang? A stick.

Q: How do you make a black man nervous? A: Threaten to kill his family.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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