What happened to the man that walked into the bar... He walked into the bar

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In soviet russia, child molests you! Unfortunately true

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A man walk's into a bar with a monkey, I fotgot the rest of the joke. Your mom is a whore.

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why was the black guy smelly? because his white friend threw him in a dumpster

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse says, "I have fetal alcohol syndrome."

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Why did the man steal the little girl? He didn't. She was his daughter and they were driving home after picking up the groceries.

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What did the amputee get for chritmas? A bicycle

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Roses are red, Violets are red, I stabbed someone in my garden, There's blood everywhere

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Why did the girl throw away her hairspray? Because she realized the harmful contaminants emitted from the nozzle were expediting the deterioration of the ozone layer thus contributing to global warming.

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A Black man, a Latino, and a Midget get into a car. They drive to the county fair, get snow cones and ride the tilt-a-whirl.

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Why was the cat meowing really loud? It was on fire. Why did the cat suddenly stop meowing? It died.

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Patient: Doctor, do I have cancer? Doctor: Yes. Patient: Will I live? Doctor: No. Patient: So what do I do? Doctor: SUCK IT UP!!!

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What happened to the Chicken who crossed the road? It made it to the other side!

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How is an elephant like a grape? They're both purple, except for the elephant.

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Believing in God may be a sign of autism Kappa

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What's the difference between a Jew and an apple? One of them is a fruit, and the other is not.

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a larger worm in your apple.

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Why did the boy fall off the sky scraper. It was hit by an axe.

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? No one, because a hollowed out pineapple carcass would not be able to last longer than a month in that high concentration of sodium.

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*insert lame joke stolen from the top 10 jokes and act like it's original because I changed one word*

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So Colton Yepma walks in to Accounting and proceeds to read jokes

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A man goes to the pound to adopt a dog and sees a very shaggy dog and says "WOW! Thats a shaggy dog I'll take it!" So the man takes home his new dog and decides to enter the dog in the towns anual shaggy dog contest. and wins. After winning the town shaggy dog contest he moves up to the county shaggy dog contest. theres no competition. Now the man and his dog enter into the state shaggy dog contest, the states shaggiest dogs are all competing. the man wins. Finally the man and his dog are in the prestigious national shaggy dog contest. The judge walks up to the man and says "your dog isn't very shaggy"

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Roses are grey Violets are grey I'm a dog

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What's worse than stepping in tar? Getting your face ripped off by a man sized Tarantula

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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