What is a pirates favorite crime? Piracy, which is still a serious problem in today's society.

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What did the pepperoni say to the pepper We are both tacos

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A Jew with a boner runs into a wall, what hits first? His nose

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What's blue and looks like water? Yes.

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Spongebob. "Hey Patrick, I thought of something funnier than 24." Patrick "Let me hear it." Spongebob "25"

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A duck walks into a grocery store. He looks at the shopkeeper, who then grabs a broom and shoos him back outdoors.

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What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.

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What did the young boy get his Father for Father's Day? A bouquet of flowers for his grave stone.

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What do you get when you mix a polar bear and a dog? A dead dog.

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How do we stop world hunger? We must first ask ourselves: why don't people eat?

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What worse than a hurt puppy? Two hurt puppies.

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How do you know when your pizza is ready? When the oven timer goes off, indicating that it is done.

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A man walks into a bar and says, "Hey, Jim, your wife just died from terminal cancer." Jim then says, "Cool. Hey, do you know if the games on tonight?"

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What did one salt shaker say to the other salt shaker? Nothing, Salt shakers are merely used to add flavor to foods.

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What's worse than the holocaust? Giovanna Plowman.

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Why did the boy do his homework? For fun.

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Roses are grey Violets are grey I am a dog.

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You know what's funny? You can't spell manslaughter without laughter.

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What is long, hard, and full of seamen A submarine you pervert

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Cause he was a chicken.

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BTW ANders she is gone, read below, seriously! And your mother is ugly, but she is so kind to me, so ill be nice to her too... Seducing a LONE WIDOW ME 32 years she... 180 and always blushing around me? Thats gonna be hard... No seriously, I kissed her on the cheek the other day, she moaned... And she aint that old... looks like a old 40 year old. ANDERS! AAAANDEERS! CHATTERTON!!! Anyway, tell your mom, that way Ill just need to enter, kill you, and you know... make her feel like she is ... 77 again? Nah she is ahornbag so she must be younger, wont kiss her on those lips though ANDERSSSss because she smokes, the others? Sure, Ill take a pic of her squirting! From the guy that taught you how to make any woman squirt... YOu fucking asshole!

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Q: what happened to the man who dropped the soap? A: nothing, he casually bent over and picked it up.

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in superbad, why couldnt seth take off mclovin's face and wear it as his own? no one can. theyre fictional characters in a movie

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Sugar is sweet. You're adopted.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops