What do get when you mix cancer and a bike? Lance Armstrong

What does it take to shit in a shower?? To choke on a whambar and be 90 kgs!

Repeat after me... I'matote ulbu twad Now say that all together Im a total butt wad

In order to find a woman, you need time and money. Woman=Time&Money The longer you spend at work, the more money you get. Time=Money Money is the root of most problems in the world today. Money=Problems Therefore Women=Problems

Why does Tim Tebow kneel and pray after there's a positive outcome of the previous play? No, seriously, why does he do that?

What's worse than sex with a midget? Non-consensual sex with a midget.

Knock knock. Who's there? The Gestapo.

You have small feet Do you know what small feet mean Small shoes

A black person and a white person decide to have a race. Who won? The white person Don't be a racist.

Why are you on this sight? You're procrastinating. I am too

Once a upon a time there was a girl named Cinderella. She rubbed a magic lamp and a genie appeared. Then a guy named Larry Harry walks into a laundry mat. 7 days later she died.

Why did Dracula cross the road? To get to the other unbitten virgin.

John: Hey Debbie, do you wanna go see a movie with me? Dina: My name is Dina

Q. What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a trampoline? A. I don't were cleats when I jump on my trampoline.

What did the pepperoni say to the pepper We are both tacos

can you pass the soap?

A Jew with a boner runs into a wall, what hits first? His nose

What is a pirates favorite crime? Piracy, which is still a serious problem in today's society.

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know ask a second grader.

Q. Why did my ass feel so sweaty? A. Because i was exercising and suckn on some nips.

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A man walks into a bar and says give me a 84 bourbon, when he gets it he spits it out and says this is no 84 bourbon this is a 74 scotch, So he asks for a 68 brandy , when he gets it he spits it out again in disgust saying this isn't a 68 brandy this is a 87 whiskey!, than the old man next to him says here try this, the man says what is it?, the old man just says try it, so the man does, he spits it out and shouts this is urine!, the old man says correct, now tell me how old i am.

What is sad and disappointing? Nevada's and California's snow pack.

A used condom filled with water and left on a radiator makes an ideal and inexpensive lava lamp.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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