I couldn't afford haircuts so I purposely contracted cancer

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your life

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? - Probably about 5 or 6, depending on the car.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Although I guess there is probably no way to get on the swing with no arms unless there was another person there to aid you in the process, and that is highly unlikely because nobody wants to hang out with a girl with no arms. Still even if Suzie was helped on to the swing she wouldn't be able to swing because of her lack of arms. Maybe that person who helped her on pushed the swing with her on it bearing in mind she has no arms. In that case Suzie should stop hanging out with that person because they are very sadistic to deliberately shove a girl with no arms off a swing.

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How do you get your dog to stop barking? You snap its neck.

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What do you call a black man that is wearing a suit? Whatever his name happens to be

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civil rights

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A child walks into a bar. I swear those jungle gyms are too short.

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What did one tampon say to the other? Nothing. They were both stuck up bitches

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A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

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And now a word from our sponsors

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And you honored it I see :P

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Why did the police arrest the black man? He'd committed a crime, and was punished accordingly.

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When you aren't feeling well, you should see a doctor like this: https://encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcS5u4lryU5PzmLUKCGEKZgDWMeQ_96VLEKFGu7Wvk-4M7UXHkOXBw

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Q: You know what never gets old? A: The kids in a school shooting

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Why did the virgin masturbate until his hand was raw? He didn't have lotion.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well why wouldn't it?

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why did suzie fall of the swings? because she had no arms.

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A:You wanna here a good anti joke B:Yeah/sure A:Me too

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Once opon a time there was a black America He name was Bob

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a rabbi and a priest walk into a wall

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A duck walks into a bar. Animal control is promptly called and the duck is released in a nearby park in a safe and risk free process.

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The awkward moment when you are reading these jokes and either it's not funny or you don't get it...

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What happened to your face It got hit by a bus By cheyenne

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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