Wanna hear a joke? It's here somewhere You looked :D There ain't jokes on Antijoke.com

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A teenage boy is getting ready to take his girlfriend to the prom. First he goes to rent a tux, but there's a long tux line at the shop and it takes forever. Next, he has to get some flowers, so he heads over to the florist and there's a huge flower line there. He waits forever but eventually gets the flowers. Then he heads out to rent a limo. Unfortunately, there's a large limo line at the rental office, but he's patient and gets the job done. Finally, the day of the prom comes. The two are dancing happily and his girlfriend is having a great time. When the song is over, she asks him to get her some punch, so he heads over to the punch table and there's no punchline.

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Q: Who wants a chick with big breasts? A: Everyone apparently, because chickens are being genetically engineered that way because people are racist about what part of the chicken then want to eat. The white meat or the dark meat. Guess what? Now they can't walk because they are top heavy. And who's fault is that? The people who only eat the white meat.

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What did George Bush say when 9/11 happened? "Silly pilots! The airport isn't in a building!"

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What come after 69? Time for you to get a watch

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Q: Whats red and bad for your teeth? A: a brick

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How did Jimmy lose seven pounds? I killed him.

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Why did the Jew cross the road? Cause the Nazi told him to

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What's the difference between Chuck Norris and Bigfoot? Nothing. Their both really hairy.

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Did you hear about the sea cow who sang "Part of your Herd?" It was the Little Moomaid.

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What did Batman say to Robin to get in the car? Get in the car.

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Shelly tells Rob to go home... Thats what she said

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was black.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Im bad with colours Nice T!ts

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Why can't monkeys and kuala bears get along? Because they are two entirely different species that cannot communicate with each other...

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I am in love with pizza. It was a friday night and i was hanging around with my so called friends 'banana-rama' 'pearman' and 'peaches' (keep in mind these are all fruit). I ordered a pizza from Poker Pizza and it came an hour later i brung it to my kitchen and i opened the box. It was lovely. I eat it, i soon realized that I had eat my one true love and decided to order another pizza.

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What did the little boy say before he succumbed to cancer? Nothing. It was too painful.

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What did the dinosaur say to the other dinosaur? We are both dinosaurs.

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It is wrong to strip a homeless man of his clothes and chew his face off. Note to self: Explain this to someone before they have taken bath salts.

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Q. What has 5 chins, 10 eyes, 10 feet, and 50 fingers? A. Five People.

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What do you call a dead guy under the ocean? Murder.

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Why did Helen Keller cross the road? Hoefuwpugosihfioapfsoihosw[

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? -250.

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What did the old women do when she found her husband dead? She had a heart attack and died as well.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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