What did you say? I'm blind. (Did not write this meaning to be offensive)

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Your mother is so obese that she has over the recommended daily calorie intake on a regular basis.

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Q: which is easier to unload a truck of dead babies or a truck of alove babies? A: dead babies cause u can use a pitchfork

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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What happened when the princess kissed a frog. Warts, all over her lips

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If you want to make the little things count, teach midgets maths!

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Why do women have boobs? So you've got something to look at while you talk to them. That's sexist... I'm sorry.

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If life throws you lemons, get under some shelter so you don't get pelted by flying fruit and worry about making lemonade later.

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When is a door not a door? When it is thrown away. Then, it will likely decompose in a landfill or be recycled into another product. In either case, it will no longer be a door.

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Two Mexicans were sitting in the back of a car. They were carpooling to save gas.

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Geography Teacher: What caused the earthquake of Japan? Me: Godzilla constipated too hard, and it caused an earthquake. Tsunami was the result of his poo. Geography Teacher: then how do you explain the after shocks...? Me: Godzilla shat his pants after the toilet

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Q: Whats metal and shiny? A: You're lame childhood accomplishments.

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What's windy and sunny at the same time? The weather.

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What's more epic than a man in a gorilla suit? A man i a gorilla suit with a banana.

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why did the black man start crying? because his ancestors were treated horribly

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What's round and bounces A basketball No!!!!!!! You dummy!!! Then what? Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Ever had Ethiopian food? Neither have they

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Q: whats funnier than watching a black man and a midget fight? A: anything technically, your opinion

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Why didn't Pat's grandma go to his birthday party? Because she died last night

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Why can't Elvis Presley drive a car backwards? Because he's dead!

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One early Christmas morning i went downstairs. My mother told me that she had gotten me the ultimate stocking stuffer. It was a foot

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Whats worse than not having fun at a party? Getting so drunk at a party that you shat in your pants Whats worse than shatting in your pants at a party drunk? Shatting in you pants twice because you were so drunk again.

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A Russian man walks out of a bar looking very sober because he walked out of the bar sober.

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i hate it when people repeat the same jokes. i just hate it when people repeat the same jokes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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