What do you say if you see a black man with blood on his hands and he has a mask on? Thank you doctor for saving my sons life!

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Tifa my ass, if that is your name buddy, then I am Nicholas Cage, or why do you not just call me Cloud Strife? Seriously, if you are a guy just say it and get lost, I will still honor my agreement and show up and see what I can do for your little order though, you pay the trip and the stay of course.

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How does Moses like his tea? Hebrews it.

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What's orange, looks like and orange, probably tastes like an orange, and has no brain? Donald Trump

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Wanna hear a joke? It's here somewhere You looked :D There ain't jokes on Antijoke.com

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a man about 65 years old is tired with his life. he begins to realize that it is meaningless to him. whil on his way to commit suicide, he comes across a man with a magicul offer. the magical man is offering to grant him the power to fly. although, the magical man wants something in return. the 65 year old man, says to himself, "i have nothing to lose". so he gives the magical man all his money and possesions he has with him. with a flick of his wrist, the magical man says, "ok, you have now been granted the power to fly". the 65 year old man, overjoyed of how he has the ability to fly runs to the nearest cliff and jumps. too bad the magical man was really male prostitute broke out of money and tricked the 65 year old man into beleiving that he had magical powers to grant him the power to fly. the 65 yeard old man died from impact and the male prostitute walked away with a wallet full of money.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because it felt like it!

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Why couldn'nt Sally swing on the swing? Because Sally was a carrot

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What come after 69? Time for you to get a watch

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Why did the chicken cross the road? ... So he didn't get Mono from Janelle.

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What do you call a man with an arrow to the knee? An ambulance because he's got a serious leg injury right there.

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Why did Mr. Cannon dies Because he got shot as an undercover cop in south america

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What did the little boy say before he succumbed to cancer? Nothing. It was too painful.

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so today i took a poop. hehe

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A Gamer walks into the tavern, the bartender says to him, "just dont act like you control the place!"

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A teenage boy is getting ready to take his girlfriend to prom. First he goes to get a tux but there's a long tux line at the shop and it takes forever. Next, he hast to get some flowers so he goes to a florist and there is a huge flower line there. It takes forever but he gets the flowers. Next he heads to get a limo, unfortunately there is a long limo line at the rental office and it takes a long time but he gets the job done. Finally the day of the prom comes and the two are dancing happily and are having a good time. When the song is over she asks him to get her some punch, so he heads over to the punch table and there is no punchline.

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*Dubstep* CHEW CHEW CHEW CHEW CHEW BWAB BWAB

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What's worse than losing your job? Getting repeatedly hit in the face with a brick after getting fired from your job.

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An anti-joke

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Q: Why do all Asians have small penises? A: They don't.

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What do you call a fart in a box? Your mom's pussy.

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what is the best invention ever created ? ............ PORN !!!!

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what happened to your carpool? they died.

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What do you get if you cross a bomb expert, and a homophobe a blow job

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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