Why couldn't the boy talk? He had his fathers hairy scrote was in his mouth

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What's black, blue, and read all over? The newspaper.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Q:What's brown and tastes like shit? A:Shit

thumb_up thumb_down -23

How did Helen Keller burn the side of her face? She didn't use enough sunscreen.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why are there no casinos in Africa? Because of the exceptionally high poverty rate.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What is black and white, and red all over? I don't know that's why I was asking.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

It works on whoever I have an emotional attachment with, for example people might be thinking you and I write in the exact same style, but I am actually copying your way of typing (spelling, word composition etc) this because we relate on a deep emotional level with people that like "get us" because they can act and behave like us. This again doubles the effect of the hypnosis, since when I get "super high on trance" and you feel that way, well, we both reach into the same wavelength, literally. Scientists and hypnotists supposedly have no idea as to why this happens, but I know, it is because our brain patterns are so similar, that even though we are at a long distance, your body believes itself to be an extension of mine and the other way around. How do I know this? Yogurt.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

thumb_up thumb_down -25

why couldnt the baby walk through the door? because it had a javeline through its head.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What's most weird about necrophilia? They copulate with dead bodies.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Your momma's so stupid, she has a lower than average IQ!

thumb_up thumb_down -25

How do you remind your kids of family? You brand them with the family crest.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why couldn't the girl eat her pizza? She had no face.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Q: What's big, yellow and can't swim? A: A school bus full of children.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was black.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Knock knock. Who's there? Never mind that. I have a gun and your child. Come out with all your valuables and he won't get hurt.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Uh... Justin, the most pointless man... I gotta cringe for a moment, I don't want to be mean here, but I think my body cell total opinion pool dropped a large quantity there, its not that I do not want you anymore, but, my body`s mass body cell total is kinda denying me... Actually I am denying IT... ACTUALLY WE ARE DENYING EACH OTHER, (which is totally awesome, united denial fighting against one another FOR DENYING THE MOST! BECAUSE COOPERATION IS FOR PUSSIES!) Anyway, hell I am dead tired, oh yeah, Justin... Man, Uh, who where you again?

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why did the black man bleed to death? He was stabbed, but he bled to death because his doctor had just prescribed him some blood-thinners for his serious headaches.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

what do you make if you get a cow, then kill it. ...Steak

thumb_up thumb_down -27

patient: Doctor, doctor, i think i'm a lemon. Doctor: racial segregation and presidency is my middle name.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Q: Why did the Little girl fall off the swing set? A: She was Shot in the face.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

How do you make a fat man cry? You call him fat.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What did the doctor say to the other doctor? Hey bill

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Nero Octavios reporting, so far all of our sectors worldwide excluding Spain, Italy and Ground Zero are secure, Nero Augustus is severely wounded but will make it, and despite the our intel Necrissa Angelo is alive and well. We have one single worry though Nero7 the brunt force of the terror attack was large and powerful, yet resistance was incredibly light when we went for the counter-strike, too light, we might have to ready ourselves for some sort of reprisal here.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops