You know what's good for shoulder pain? If you ice on for 20 minutes then off for 20 minutes repetitively three times a day

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roses are red, violets are blue with a face like yours, you belong in a zoo but don't worry, cos I'll be there too not in the cage but laughing at you!

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A man walks into a bar. He realizes that he would need a designated driver if he would want to return home safely. So he then leaves.

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How many times have I said the word shingles? twelve.

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There was a man driving his truck down a dark road, half way down the road he see's a man walking alone. He stops beside him, winds down his window and says "Oi mate, need a lift"? The man replies "yeah sure, but can i sleep in the back of the truck"? The driver replies "Yeah sure" later on as the man is sleeping he hears a big bang. "what was that" the man asks. The driver says "Don't worry i just hit a cow, go back to sleep". time goes by and he hears another bang. "W-what was that". "Don't worry i just hit a moose, go back to sleep and ill wake you when we arrive". Few moments latter he hears a tick tick bang. He gets up and yells "What was that"? The driver replies "Dont worry mate i just hit a aboriginal" The man replies "What was those two ticks before that"?. The driver says "I had to drive through two fences to hit the bastard"

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Knock knock. Who's there? Schizophrenia.

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My friend, who has struggled with a lifelong battle against anorexia, died yesterday..." "Oh my god, I'm so sorry!" "Yeah, me too. The car ran the stoplight and it was all over...

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why was six afraid of seven? it wasn't. numbers dont have feelings.

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How do you wake up your grandmother........ You don't, she had a massive heart attack and died in her sleep

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How many cops does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, they just beat the night since its black

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Q. Why do televisions come with clickers A. So you don't have to get up to change the channel

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What's the difference between a duck? They are mostly the same, only one leg is shorter.

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why did the little girl throw a clock out of the window? because she wanted to see time fly

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Roses are red Violets are violet the last time i saw this poem i couldn't rhyme no more

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What's black, white and sings the intro theme song for "Thomas the Tank Engine" while tap-dancing? There probably isn't anything that does that.

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how do you drown a blonde in a kitty pool? put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why couldn't she get back up? She had no legs.

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What happened to The Guy when he got pissed on he was wet

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How do you call the uncle who molested you as a child? More than likely with a telephone.

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Why did the chicken attempt to cross the road? To see if it could.

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What did the old women do when she found her husband dead? She had a heart attack and died as well.

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XD That one was awesome Nero, for a moment I was really wondering if you refer towards a tough guy as yourself as a boy. Now you pretty lucky I like tough guys, and you always have a savage joke at hand don't you?

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What do you call a chicken with no head? A chicken with no head.

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roses are red violets are blue i have 5 fingers the middle ones for you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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