- Anti Joke

What do you tell a woman who claims that she is going to yell "fire" in a crowded movie theater? That doing so could result in serious injuries or even death, and that she would be wise to reconsider her future options, as she could be held responsible for any and all problems that arise.

What has Whitney Houston got in common with a spider? They're both black and they can't get out of the bathtub

What do you call Metta World Peace after he has hit somebody? Metta World War.

why did suzie fall of the swings? because she had no arms.

You know what he said? How did you know what he said?

What happened to the homeless man at midnight? He took a shit on the ground

Did you hear about that anthony weiner guy. He is very depressed, and your mother has cancer.

what did the thief say to the man that lost his car? i stole your car.

How do you make a lawyer cry? You can't. The production of tears requires a soul, which, regretfully, no lawyer possesses.

Roses are red, Facebook is blue, we have mutual friends, and violets are blue and roses are red. FRIDGE

who can be more evil than the person who hit my nuts. Adolf Hitler.

Why did the chicken cross the playground? Thats what she said

Roses are red Violets are blue Tulips are yellow Grass is green

why did the black man drink grape kool-aid kool-aid refreshed him after a hard days work out in the field picking cotton

what did the apple say to the orange? -- NOTHING! APPLES DO NOT TALK!

How many babies does it take to cover a roof? Depends on how thinly you slice them.

What is one similarity between John Samos, and the dreadful clown? they have a red nose and are payed to be funny, aside from John Samos!

Q: You know what never gets old? A: The kids in a school shooting

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What happened to the girl who got an abortion? She got an infection.

What's black and white and red all over? A penuin that got bit by a sea lion.

Someone dies every second. That's 60 a minute. 3600 a hour. 86,400 a day. 604,800 a week. 31,536,000 a year. But thankfully- I don't live in Zimbabwe.

What's Worse Than Falling Over? .......Rape.

When is the best time to wear a striped sweater? All the time.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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