Person 1: I'm really sleepy. Person 2: Then go to sleep.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

The american education system.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's worse than dropping your loli-pop? The Holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down +5

There was an old lady who swallowed a fly. But everything turned out alright, as the fly was dissolved by stomach acid.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What does a weasel and a naked college girl have in common? No clothes

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q. What is worse than a worm in your apple? A. Hitler

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Yo momma so fat shes eating right now

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What is your name? My name is Jeff

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Windows are likes prostitutes. You can have two in the front and two in the back!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do you call a tall midget? Well tall is a relative term so a midget may be considered tall compared to something or someone shorter. Say if a midget was compared to a baby he/she would be considered tall, considering the baby's small height. However midgets are looked at short by most people who are taller than them because of their physical problem that they can do nothing about.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How do you steal from a sushi buffet? You say please.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's brown and sticky? A black man covered in syrup.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A black man, a gay man, and an Asian woman are sitting at a bar. The black man gets a phone call, and after the call all three of them are excited because they are all friends and the black man just got into a good college.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

whats the difference between kroush and a bucket of shit? the bucket

thumb_up thumb_down +3

My friend was waving a stick around and yelling out spells, so walked up to him and asked "You want to be Harry Potter, don't you?" He replied excitedly "Yeah!!" So i killed his parents and locked him under the stairs.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How did Whitney huston die? By eating a turkey sasandwich and then put a car jump starter in the bath tub.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q: Who was the most famous French skeleton? A: Napoleon bone-apart.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How do you get a drugged man, a giant sombrero, and a guitar into a Chuck-E-Cheese? You take multiple trips.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why can't Molly ride her bike? Because she has no arms or legs. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Molly.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q: What do you brush your teeth with, sit on and sleep in? A: A toothbrush, a chair and a bed

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the serial killer need the knife? He needed to butter his bread

thumb_up thumb_down +3

whats worse then getting a parking ticket? the plague

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the road cross the chicken? Because Einstein said so. According to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the Mexican sneak across the US border? There aren't many good jobs for him in Mexico, and with the cost of living in his small village, he will be able to provide for his entire family of seven on just minimum wage in California. He will miss his family terribly while he is away from them, but he believes it is worth it in the end. Once he saves enough, he will pay the coyotes to smuggle the rest of his family over so they can be together again. Hopefully none of them will die on the journey.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops