I man walks into a bar. He orders a drink, takes around 13.5 minutes to drink it, then walks out. It takes him 10.7 minutes to walk home, 2.8 minutes less than he spent in the bar. When he is home, he decides to have a bath. 7.8 minutes into bathing, a radio plugged into an outlet near his tub falls into the water with him and he is killed. 29 miles away a woman sneezes twice.

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Why DIDN'T the chicken cross the road? Because it got hit by a bus

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why was 9 afraid of 6 ? because it made her pregnant

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A jewish man walks into a bar has a drink, then walks out of the bar.

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"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "You already had me chained to the bed. You didn't have to break both of my legs, Kathy Bates."

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There are stars in the sky when it's dark. You may have noticed I used a contraction in the previous sentence.

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Knock knock. MAN: Who's there? HOOKER: The hooker you called for. MAN: Oh, dear lord. My wife hasn't left yet. I need you to come back in fifteen minutes. WIFE: Honey, who is it? MAN: It's the hooker I called for, but you haven't left. I told her to come back in fifteen minutes.

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No? Neither have they.

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How do you get a Mexican's attention? "Excuse me, may I have your attention?"

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Who jumps the highest in basketball? The mascot because he has a trampoline.

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whats a funny joke? nuthing nuthing at all

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Joe has 30 candy bars and eats 25. What does john have now? DIABETIES. Joe has diabeties. Please comment!!!!!!!

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I got 99 problems and they're all related to long history of drug abuse

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What is the diffrence between you and I. I am not sure because i have not meet you yet

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Your momma's so fat that she went on a diet.

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What happened to the homeless guy when a woman gave him five dollars? He shot the woman because he is mentally retarded.

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Yar! What be a pirate's favorite football team? The Steelers. I'm originally from Pittsburgh.

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Why did the woman cross the road? Better yet, why is she out of the kitchen

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Yo mama so stupid, she signed an apointment with Dr. Pepper

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Two men fought over a bag of peanuts. The peanuts won.

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If life hands you lemons... Question yourself what just happened because life isn't tangible and has no way of handing you lemons, and even if it did, why lemons?

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Q: What is better than Vagina? A: Nothing

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A man walks into a bar. Three hours later, ambulances arrived, because the man was knocked out. The man who saved was known as a hero, and was awarded a medal for his good deed.

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A black man and a white man walk into a job interview. Neither of them get the job due to lack of skill in the field.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops