How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

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Just think...there are 7 billion people in the world...so that's 14 billion orgasms!

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what happened to your carpool? they died.

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What did the cookie ask the glass of milk? Will you wash me down

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My wife's star sign was Cancer and its quite ironic how she died really... She was attacked by a giant crab.

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What do you call an overly-sexual, chewbacca-like creature that smokes cocaine and shoots heroin, while beating its offspring? Mom.

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What's the difference between a brick and a baby? One is a fundamental item used in building walls and the other is a human

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Yo momma is so dumb, the tests came back positive for mental retardation and she has been given an expected life expectancy of 2 years.

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Yo mamas so dumb she has to repeat the 10th grade...again.

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Yup, I 100% agree with all the jokes that were made below this post. Chad's pretty gay.

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When the mom got home from work, she was very tired. Her 6 year old son asked her nicely to make him a PB&J sandwich. She said sure and made one. Her son was very pleased and ate all of it. He knew he had a great mom. I actually lied above. The mom was killed by three men in hoodies in her back yard. They came inside and also murdered to boy. Worst of all the killers stole all of her food including the rasberries the boy was looking forward to eat. I guess it doesn't matter now since he is unable to eat anymore...

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what is yellow and burns? -a fire

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What do you call a man with no arms? Disabled... some people can be so cruel.

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why is blake oneal gay? because hes black and he likes peniss in his ass

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"New season of Dr.Phil. How does that make you feel?" ANGERY!!!!!

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Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall Humpty Dumpty had a great fall Humpty Dumpty is an egg so nobody cares

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whats the difference between harry potter and a jew? harry potter can escape the chamber

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What's worse than getting no up-votes on an anti-joke? Getting down votes

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All of these jokes suck; so I just made one that equally sucks!

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Why are apathy,ignorance, and resentment alike? I dont know and I don't care to know.

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her: what did your last slave die of? him: syphillis

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What's funnier than 3 midgets in a treehouse? A talented comedian.

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pants on the ground pants on the ground lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU..

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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